Proper salutation?

[Qwertyuiopasd]

4d. Theory of gravity

The core is hot and space is cold, so objects fall to the ground. Objects are attracted to objects of higher temperature; hence the pull of the sun, and most human interactions.

Man, that hurt my brain to write.

[Roy Hunter]

Hmmm.. I kind of wanted mine to be a bit more genuine than that and actually mean something. Just because it's a Diploma Mill doesn't mean there shouldn't be just the tiniest bit of real work involved, wouldn't ya say? We can't all be the pirates who don't do anything.

You can put as much work into it as you like. I would be genuinely interested to read some proper Pastafarian theological theses, as well as the nonsense with recipes for cheese sandwiches, and betting form for the crocoduck races.

Man, that hurt my brain to write.

No-one said being stupid was easy. That's why Republicans earn so much money for it.

[black bart]

"It was a dark and stormy night . . . " must also be included.

Careful, you'll get Black Bart started writing again...

Speaking of which, can we get this list of 'learning outcomes' finalised, so I can get writing my thesis? So far we have:

1. Starts with "Hello, my name is".
2. Continues with "In this essay I am going to write about".
3. Contains at least one "It was a dark and stormy night".

And I'd like to add:

4. Completely misinterprets any or all of the following:
a. Darwin's theory of natural selection.
b. The principle of scientific parsimony.
c. Abiogenesis.

I was in the pub with the Black Spot (erstwhile Pirate of these boards) and he said he is intending to write a series of essays refuting just about everything the scientific world is proposing at the moment. I'll keep an eye on his progress, could be useful. If you read some of his 'Far Fetched Anecdotes' there are one or two with a deep scientific basis.

Now then where was I...Oh yes:

It was a Stormy and dark night...no

It was a Stormy Monday Night...no...

The Dark Knight stormed into King Arthur's Court...D'oh!

[Roland Deschain]

Sounds interesting, Bart. Might I also suggest:-

The knight stormed Guinevere's battlements like a thief in the night.

OR

A friend of a friend told me...

OR EVEN

Hi. I'm [Insert Name Here]. You may remember me from such Pastafarian theological papers as [Insert Ridiculously Named Paper Here] or [Insert Another Ridiculously Named Paper Here].

[bacon]

Speaking of which, can we get this list of 'learning outcomes' finalised, so I can get writing my thesis? So far we have:

1. Starts with "Hello, my name is".
2. Continues with "In this essay I am going to write about".
3. Contains at least one "It was a dark and stormy night".

And I'd like to add:

4. Completely misinterprets any or all of the following:
a. Darwin's theory of natural selection.
b. The principle of scientific parsimony.
c. Abiogenesis.

It occurred to me last night that we need to have rules regarding the ending of our essays. I suggest that all essays must have any or all of the following:

a. In conclusion . . .
b. I would like to end this essay by . . .
c. This is my essay and I would like to thank . . .
d. The End

Absolutely no essay can end with "The Beginning."

[daftbeaker]

I'm just going to use Kent Hovind's 'thesis' as a template. It's far stupider than anything sane people can dream up

[Edd]

Should we start a diploma mill, and start churning out Doctors of Pastafarian Theology? Ham will buy *ahem* I mean "study" for one for sure. Me too (if it's not too expensive). When anyone starts complaining about the diploma mill, we can point to our flimsy moral standards, and claim that it is completely justified.

Hmmm.. I kind of wanted mine to be a bit more genuine than that and actually mean something. Just because it's a Diploma Mill doesn't mean there shouldn't be just the tiniest bit of real work involved, wouldn't ya say? We can't all be the pirates who don't do anything.

Realistically, pirates can't be forced to do anything. The ninja sects could, the groups really stressing the intellectual side of piracy could maybe, but not Pastafarians as a whole. But rather than just let 'em do whatever they please and get a degree, I would suggest that the requirement be that a Pastarian forgo boring or minimalist constraints and make their own study requirements--taking charge of their own education and steer it in the direction that they want in order to make a unique and interesting contribution. Maybe it doesn't have to be a 900 page essay... But there does have to be a thoughtful contribution of some sort. Something that is worth working to do one's best at. This will effectively test their ability to take command, to know and fight for the things they want, to be self-motivated and set their own rules. Things every good Pirate should know.

I want to see some motivated people, who can set their own course to enlightenment. That's what ought to set the Doctors apart from the average Joe (Plumber). Ideally, every Pastafarian should do this anyways, but...

It's still a diploma mill. If someone wants to spend all of 5 minutes making a Macaroni picture I guess no one can stop them.

*Sigh*

4d. Theory of gravity

The Diploma Mill can dispense different types of Diplomas. The Doctorate of Pastafarian Theology can be a serious (for any given value of serious) one and we can have all kinds of other silly (for any given value of silly) ones.

[Roland Deschain]

Ok, so i've been playing and have come up with a basic diploma design. I will continue to work on different designs, but will need ideas as to what the doctorate is in, for example. Here is the one I have so far:-

[Qwertyuiopasd]

I'd love to see if we could get Bobby to actually sign these.

[m610]

OK then, let's make it meaningful. You have to write something decent, or not, but either way it must conform to the submission guidelines (many have been suggested here), it has to be accepted by some committee, maybe folks here chosen at random, just to check spelling and do a little QC and reject pure crap, and then it get added to "The Library of the Pastaria", as a PDF file, of course. Then and only then do you get your diploma (after paying the cost of printing and shipping) and you get to use the BoP or other salutation.

The only reason I mention $$ is that to do a nice job with this someone will have to spend some time and buy some nice paper and stamps (unless you'd accept the jpeg version). Besides, maybe it can help pay for this site.

And, Pastafarian University = P.U. ????

[Ham Nox]

I'd prefer Flyingspaghettimonster University... Even if PU is a little more accurate in describe the authenticate odour du Pyrate.

Edit: Perhaps we can add some of that nice Noodle border Tig made to the edges? Either that or a burnt/water-damaged edge. It's just not a nice certificate unless it has a really cool border.

[m610]

UFSM

[Roland Deschain]

I'd prefer Flyingspaghettimonster University... Even if PU is a little more accurate in describe the authenticate odour du Pyrate.

Edit: Perhaps we can add some of that nice Noodle border Tig made to the edges? Either that or a burnt/water-damaged edge. It's just not a nice certificate unless it has a really cool border.

Your wish is my command, oh Sister of the Sauce:-



On a more serious note, if this really does go ahead, I have to say now that I do not know who owns the copyright to the pirate fish and FSM images i'm using, so this would need to be sought out.

[Edd]

On a more serious note, if this really does go ahead, I have to say now that I do not know who owns the copyright to the pirate fish and FSM images i'm using, so this would need to be sought out.

Bobby encourages everyone to use them and he's also have to give the go-ahead for the site, so, as long as no one claims that the design is completely original or attempts to make a profit without some sort of explicit understanding with Bobby, I think we're copacetic.

[Ham Nox]

I'd prefer Flyingspaghettimonster University... Even if PU is a little more accurate in describe the authenticate odour du Pyrate.

Edit: Perhaps we can add some of that nice Noodle border Tig made to the edges? Either that or a burnt/water-damaged edge. It's just not a nice certificate unless it has a really cool border.

Your wish is my command, oh Sister of the Sauce:-

D***it Roland! You just HAD to go and make me blow Diet Dr. Pepper out my nose!!! (IT BURNSES, IT BURNSES!!!)

This is just too funny.. It will have to be quarantined for the protection of soda-free nostrils everywhere.

Or maybe I'll just go ahead and post it to my facebook