CotFSM Opportunity in Alabama

The place for general discussion about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and most things related to Him.

Moderator: All Things Mods

User avatar
Senior New York Correspondent
Posts: 9629
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:13 pm
Location: Where the Sun don't shine

CotFSM Opportunity in Alabama

Postby PKMKII » Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:13 pm

Under the new Restore Our Community program, judges in Bay Minette can give those convicted of misdemeanors three choices: jail, a fine, or one year's weekly attendance at church. Now, predictably, the ACLU is challenging that this is unconstitutional, but Police Chief Mike Rowland offered the following defense:

Rowland acknowledged there were concerns about separation of church and state complaints but said he didn't see it as too big of a problem because offenders weren't being forced to attend church, they are just being given the option.

The offenders who voluntarily choose church over jail get to pick the churches they attend. If they complete a year’s attendance, Rowland said, their criminal case would be dismissed.

Emphasis mine. Now, if convicts get to choose any church they want, per the first amendment to the Constitution, they can receive the blessed wisdom of dressing up like a pirate, drinking beer, and eating pasta. All we need is a Pastafarian in the area (or a humanist group with a sense of humor) to deliver the teachings of the Sauced One onto those on the wayward path.
"How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.'" - Carl Sagan

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincaré

User avatar
Roland Deschain
Shaman of Ramen
Posts: 3037
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:13 pm
Location: BASE jumping off the Dark Tower.

Re: CotFSM Opportunity in Alabama

Postby Roland Deschain » Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:28 am

So you're saying that there's free reign to commit misdemeanours? That if I do, I can end up getting free beer, spaghetti and meatballs? If I ever go to Alabama, i'll make sure to commit a few :haha:

(I wonder if The Church of Satan has a following there? :evilgrin:)
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed

Conchigliette Convert
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2011 2:47 pm
Location: Jacksonville, Fl

Re: CotFSM Opportunity in Alabama

Postby foxdude0486 » Wed Sep 28, 2011 2:11 pm

I saw this on ACLU's site yesterday and first thing that came to mind was separation of church and state. If Church is "Just an option" then there should be a non-jail option that isn't church.

Though working around the system does sound like an opportunity to put the CotFSM up as one of the churches to attend for a year. It allows us to keep someone out of jail that more than likely won't learn anything while there and instead of eating at your tax dollars, they're just eating your pasta and drinking your beer.

Being that it's your church, splitting the costs of the beer and pasta between a few members would make things work out a lot easier. The more the merrier, eh?

Return to “All Things FSM”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests