Proper Rituals, As Observed By His Noodliness

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Proper Rituals, As Observed By His Noodliness

Postby StayThirstyMyAguila » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:01 pm

When I was but young, yea, an age and a century and a decade and a year and a month and a week and a day and an hour and a minute and a second and a New York second (look it up) and a run-on sentence ago . . .

I felt thy strangest - seemingly so, that is - of urges to partake of thy most holy Parmesan, but as of a shower.

Such did I verily amuse His sauciness.

And yet, later I did knowst of His most noodly touch, and so began mine journey into enlightenment.

"But weep, for it could not last."*

But as such, wouldst mine blindest of faiths last? No, not verily.

For thy time did come whenst I had great need to cross another, (they, in honor unto spirits of thy Holiday, they did bestow unto mine person a munchkin, thine holiest of all nutted-dough holes), and mine hand froze on thy midway.

For I knew not of any fore-beknownst way to 'cross' another as being a Holy subject to our One True And Holy Deity.

And through, thy great Inter of thy Webs, I did trove.

Yet alas, mine fingers, skip they did through thine qwertyuiopasd alphanumeralics.

And unto thine sites I did stumble.

But as of yet, weep, as there be no fore-beknownst way of performing such an aforementioned 'crossing' of oneself upon thy Webs - Inter-Webs, mind you.
Nor of performing such a Parmtism as oneself might wish upon one's child (to, obviously, be revoked, with no jumping-through of hoops, at any time upon choice of thy child in question).
And even thus, nor of any other rituals of question unforementioned in thy Holy texts.

And so I do set out, with mine aforementioned alphanumeralics, to clarify this area of uncertainty.

If thou do, in any of thy humblest terms, find flaw with any of that placed upon this page, speak of it, and hold unto it no shame.

Unless it be not of intelligence.

Then thou shalt be insulted and harassed as is suited to such statements.

*First one to name the above reference gets a cookie and, mayhaps, a friend . . . . :haha: :grin:

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Re: Proper Rituals, As Observed By His Noodliness

Postby Cardinal Fang » Mon Dec 19, 2016 11:35 am

Might be worth reposting this in the Scripture and Lore section - it does sound like the sort of noodly inspired writing that is being collated for the 2nd Edition of the Loose Cannon.

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The Book Of Proper Rituals And Rites, As Observed By His Noodliness

Postby StayThirstyMyAguila » Thu Jan 05, 2017 3:31 pm

      - - - - = = = = = > { } < A _ F o r e w o r d _ O f _ G r e a t e s t _ I m p o r t : > { } < = = = = = - - - -

    Before we allow ourselves to traverse through His most holy rituals, it hath come to mine attentions that a few things shouldst be stated in advance:

  1. First and foremost, NEVER, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, may thee force ANY of these upon ANYONE ELSE, EVEN THY CHILD, and remember that above ALL ELSE, the FSM expects tolerance from ALL of his followers.
  2. Any and all rituals, rites, and or or procedures of finding within mine second, mine first, and or or any furthermore posts that shouldst so follow art inscribed by mine hands (hand, should I partaking of a tasty snack whilst He touches me), and I be naught but a nother of His imperfect creations. Alas, He doth not claim, even in His divine Al-Denteness, to be of perfection. I might hath misinterpreted His speech, or He might hath misspake, or He might hath a divine changing of His meaty heart, which doth pump His sauciness through all His Great Globbiness. And so art all these rituals, rites, procedures, posts of future, and or or of present under subject to mine changes and, in their nature, most fluid.
  3. I, as supreme creator of this thread, do so behold all following and implicatory rights to be mine, and only with inscribed, penned, and or or typed Parmesan (get it? Parmesan . . . no?) from me, most saucy of all its creators (the globby Inspiration Of Awe, the FSM, woe-fully, doth not count under our earthbound laws of right to copy, but He, the Supreme Glob, doth be the most saucy creator of all in His flat-as-lasagna world). If thou doth have wish to in any fashion replicate, reproduce of, remake of, insinuate such into, and or or create of it anew, thou must seek of mine Parmesan below, upon this thread, and await mine reply. A, 'thread', which doth, in its thready nature, be not uncouth to one of His verily and saucily noodly appendages. If mine reply doth not come within a time of a month and a day, thou hath free will to quote of it as thou will, with proper citation, provision of a link, and mine name being inscribed within or without the quote as suits such matters of credit.
  4. It be of mine opinion that offices, which shouldst be many and postal, art and aught to be called, here and henceforth, 'pastal offices'. This be but of mine opinion. However, it do beseech me that He, in His most googly-eyed humour senses, might find such endeavours to His great amusement.
  5. If thou might wish to perform a 'citing' of mine posts, thou must refer to it as, "The Book Of Proper Rituals And Rites, As Observed By His Noodliness'. If thou doth wish to abbreviate, partake of proper formatting, as stated by the false prophet, whom doth spill truths from his mouth, beknownst only to the masses as MLA. If thou be lazy and of no wish to Google thy formatting questions, here so follows a guide:
  6. When citing such as one chapter and one line of one book, thou must use it thus, by inserting thy quote, and then, "(<Book Name (May be abbreviated with proper abbreviation)> <Chapter #>:<Line #>)", or, as be less favorable, "(<Book Name (May be abbreviated with proper abbreviation)> <Chapter #>.<Line #>)". For here on wards, to save of mine time, all examples shall be of mine former example, the one containing of the colon (:).
  7. If thou must quote of multiple chapters, do so thusly, as "(<Book Name (May be abbreviated with proper abbreviation)> <First Chapter #>-<Last Chapter #>:<Line #>)".
  8. To quote lines that be both numerous and of a certain range (as of one might spake that, "Yaaaaarrgghhh, it be of lines 1-5!"), simply do so with formatting as of "(<Book Name (May be abbreviated with proper abbreviation)> <Chapter #>:<First Line #>-<Last Line #>)".
  9. To quote an entire chapter, do so as "(<Book Name (May be abbreviated with proper abbreviation)> <Chapter #>", and follow obviously applicable rules of quoting multiple chapters if it doth apply.
  10. If wishing to quote of multiple lines that be disjointed, make use of, "(<Book Name (May be abbreviated with proper abbreviation)> <Chapter #>:<First Line #>,<Second Line #>)". And that is all, and if thou hath still thine confuzzlements, simply attempt combining forespake formats as suits thy need (for example, multiple chapters and multiple lines=first part of multiple chapter format+last part of multiple lines format).
  11. To state the name of this thread, one may use the full title of, "The Book Of Proper Rituals And Rites, As Observed By His Noodliness", or, for thy easy citation and reference, make use of abbreviation. Abbreviation which, by its nature, may be of more humorous origins found within thy (as of present) reading mind, otherwise shalt be, "Prop", after the 'Proper' within the title.
  12. And I doth plead thee, most formally, that if thou doth quote of this and or or posts that follow, that thou doth include mine name after wards of thy quotation and citation. And do so not as part of quotation or citation, but simply as perhaps, "As StayThirstyAguila hath inscribed, ' . . . ' (Prop 0:0).", or in some similar manner that might appeal moreover to thee.

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