Ebola and FSM Theory, could this be the beginning?

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MachoUnicorn
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Ebola and FSM Theory, could this be the beginning?

Postby MachoUnicorn » Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:05 pm

I think I know the truth behind the Ebola epidemic, and why it all happened. It was a rain of punishment from the FSM himself!

According to this discussion, african recipes and foods DO NOT include noodles!
https://www.nappturality.com/forums/arc ... 45193.html

And think about it... how many black pastafarians have you met before? and how many from africa? Exactly!

And what do noodles look like? strings! just like the FSM's appendages! but what does the ebola virus look like?
https://www.cdc.gov/vhf/ebola/modules/f ... -ebola.jpg

THE SAME THING!

So could it be, the FSM was possibly causing africa to suffer from ebola? sending noodle like killers among them? Well, I do believe the FSM would never want to hurt anyone, let alone preform mass genocide through a noodle like species, but it all depends. my evidence is hard and clear. Let me know what you think and if we should address this issue. Thank you, and may FSM touch your saucy heart with his strong and lovely noodley appendage, R'Amen :fsm_rock:
:love: :moon: As a wise man once said "you are what you eat" so, I ate pasta. :love: :moon:

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StayThirstyMyAguila
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Re: Ebola and FSM Theory, could this be the beginning?

Postby StayThirstyMyAguila » Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:43 pm

MachoUnicorn wrote:I think I know the truth behind the Ebola epidemic, and why it all happened. It was a rain of punishment from the FSM himself!

AAAAAND you're already wrong.
The FSM is NOT an, "I shall smite thee!" type of deity.
MachoUnicorn wrote:According to this discussion, african recipes and foods DO NOT include noodles!
https://www.nappturality.com/forums/arc ... 45193.html

What about couscous? That counts. I cite The Gospel Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster by Bobby Henderson, page 135. If you don't have a copy, google, "couscous africa sand fsm". Worked for me.
MachoUnicorn wrote:And think about it... how many black pastafarians have you met before? and how many from africa? Exactly!

I- I mean- I don't even know how to respond to that. I mean . . . really? Tisk tisk indeed.
MachoUnicorn wrote:sending noodle like killers among them?

Actually, I propose a different theory.
Thanks to my Biology class, I know (purely by chance, we had to pick viruses to do a project on, I happened to pick Ebola) that the Ebola vaccine (and the cure, although the cure isn't available for legal, non-test-subject human use) is actually MADE largely from parts of Ebola. This makes me think that He was not paying attention at the time Ebola became a threat, and when He noticed, He inspired a scientist working on the vaccine to make another noodle-shaped virus in His image to keep Ebola at bay.
MachoUnicorn wrote:Well, I do believe the FSM would never want to hurt anyone, let alone preform mass genocide through a noodle like species, but it all depends.

We might want to at times, but overall he refrains.
MachoUnicorn wrote:my evidence is hard and clear

Debatable.
MachoUnicorn wrote:Thank you, and may FSM touch your saucy heart with his strong and lovely noodley appendage, R'Amen :fsm_rock:

Flattery works on everyone, and don't let anyone tell ya different, kid. Good job.

Thanks, you may have given me another proof to post!

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Re: Ebola and FSM Theory, could this be the beginning?

Postby Cardinal Fang » Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:47 pm

Except we know that the FSM is very laid back, and doesn't care about whether people keep to Pastafarian rituals - or even if they believe in Him at all.

1st IRRYD says "1. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay."

And in the Loose Cannon it says "Thou shalt be free to worship the Blessed Pasta-King as thou seeth fit" - which means it people don't eat pasta, that's fine. (The Random Number of Not Commandments, Suggestions; 16)

and also

"And the Dalai Llama Answered: “His Noodly Majesty is, above all, tolerant. Be a good person, and you'll be fine, eating Pasta or not. (Book of Frequently Asked Questions, 77-78)

So he wouldn't kill people just because they' don't eat pasta.

Ebola arose because people ate bush meat (monkeys) and it passed from them to humans. That might be an argument for not eating bush meat, but it's not religiously based, it's based on that's a reservoir for a zoonotic disease.

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Re: Ebola and FSM Theory, could this be the beginning?

Postby 'Murican Bald Eagle » Wed Feb 22, 2017 2:05 am

MachoUnicorn wrote:Granddaddy told me 2 get a proper job, aaarrrrgggghh!

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Re: Ebola and FSM Theory, could this be the beginning?

Postby Nef Yoo BlackBeard » Wed Feb 22, 2017 1:37 pm

'MuricanUberTrollURk wrote:Granddaddy told me 2 get a proper job an not b a troll, aaarrrrgggghh!
cabin boy fir hyer. jyint hat no hextra charj.


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