Jesus was really the FSM's messenger

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

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Conchigliette Convert
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Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:07 am

Jesus was really the FSM's messenger

Postby chris_q » Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:15 am

All these years Christians have misunderstood the true meaning of the gospels. I have discovered this revelation

Simpson spotted the face of Christ in the advertisement immediately after praying for a divine sign. She couldn't decide whether to stay in the church choir or quit and sing professionally. The shadowy image of Jesus' face in strands of spaghetti hanging from a fork meant she should stay with the choir.

Suddenly it all all makes sense, Jesus was sent by the FSM. Why were so many of his disciples fishermen. A Euphemism for Pirates surly, the "I will make you fishers of men" clearly indicates that they were to be a pirate band.

The message of the last supper "drink this" and "eat this" together with "love thy neighbour" is surely the true gospel message. It is clearly inspired by the FSM.

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Andrey Kurtenkov
Lumache Lieutenant
Posts: 597
Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:25 am
Location: Bulgaria

Re: Jesus was really the FSM's messenger

Postby Andrey Kurtenkov » Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:28 am

We need to accept a real God like Flying Spaghetti Monster, Jesus is an imagination.
En mateno de hela ero, per la forĉo de espero, venas viglaj pastafaroj, vere fluganta gefratoj.
Ah, vi flugu, Nia Monstro! Vin observas milionoj serĉiantaj vermiĉeloj, per espero kaj per amo.
Kaj la bona pastafaro post la malfermita pordo, trovos la eternan vivon en pastafara paradizo!
Pastafarier aller Länder, vereinigt euch!
Българска пастафарианска църква (Bulgarian Pastafarian Church)
- за прослава на Макаронения Бог :worship: :fsm_float:

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Angel-Hair Archmage
Maccheroncelli Missionary
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Oct 22, 2008 12:10 am

Re: Jesus was really the FSM's messenger

Postby Angel-Hair Archmage » Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:05 am

I could try and relate, but a FSM Jesus would have turned water into a bowl of endless pasta, not wine. Maybe pasta in wine...never tried that before.
The FLying Spaghetti Monster watches over the Kingdom, out of site, but not out of our minds...

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