FSM recommends polygamy

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

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FSM recommends polygamy

Postby Legato » Mon Sep 19, 2005 11:33 am

By complex numerological and esoteric analysis the following has been revealed to me (I am NOT a [Edited by Cerberus - there are rules saying that you can't say things like "I am a Pastor", "I am the Messiah" and so forth] pastor):

The FSM recommends polygamy:
Flying Spagehtti Monster = Fine polygamist strength

That every 14 days, wild swine should be calmed:
Fortnightly pig tameness

That the Lorldy Linguine was there at the beginning:
Amongst Fiery Thing Slept

Some of my findings are a little more confusing:
Slag thy omnipresent gift
The Foreign Gymnast Spilt

Perhaps fellow worshippers can help?

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Gnocchetti Galley Slave
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Postby PragmaticallyWyrd » Tue Sep 20, 2005 1:43 pm

How about polyamory instead?
Furry cows moo and decompress.

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Postby verbtea » Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:30 pm

I cannot deny that FSM may have spoken to you about the joy of multiple sexual partners (for does He not have two stalks and many, many noodles?).

However, I must say it has been revealed to me that FSM really doesn't care one way or the other who (or what) we have sex with, or whether we're having sex with somebody else at the same time, or whether we decide it would be a pretty good idea to only have sex with one specific person, or whether we would like to one day go through the miracle of splitting up the community property with somebody.

FSM would rather leave all that mischief to government, since modern marriage is an unholy institution that creates secure lawyers.

Think of the pastabilities...

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Re: FSM recommends polygamy

Postby _Tex_ » Mon Oct 10, 2005 6:52 am

Legato wrote:Some of my findings are a little more confusing:
Slag thy omnipresent gift
The Foreign Gymnast Spilt

Perhaps fellow worshippers can help?

pretty sure you miss translated the last one. its supposed to be "The foreign gymnast split" not Spilt. His Noodlyness came to me earlier and spake "thou hast been chosen to fix the spelling for Legato, he's gone and bloody muffed it"

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Postby PrimeDjin » Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:26 pm

I'm definitely for FSM allowing polygamy; provided that everybody has access to it (men/women/gay ppl) and the financial means to support multiple partners.

The law should stop interfering with what consenting adult people do.
I don't believe, I know

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Postby fusiontortellini » Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:51 pm

Come now (pun intended), FSM = multiply tangled noodly appendages. Sounds like an orgy to me. . .
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

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Postby LibraLabRat » Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:04 pm

Polyamory just makes sense.......polygamy sounds like a dangerous place to be....

His noodlyness told me that that more you shtupp at the same time, thereby resembling his holy squiggly form, the more pleased he is.
'There are no atheists in foxholes' isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes."
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