The Order of Her Noodly Appendage, The Wholy Marine Corps

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The Order of Her Noodly Appendage, The Wholy Marine Corps

Postby CommanderTako » Thu Dec 30, 2010 4:03 pm

This is just a little something a wrote to tell about The Flying Spaghetti Mother(The wife of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) Noodly Appendage, The Wholy Marine Corps.


The purpose of the Wholy Marines as defined by the tenth Pastafarian Admiral of the Fleet, Capitan Zarathustra who established the order of Her Noodly Appendage(The Wholy Marine Corps) was to act as "the army of the FSMs" to guard and protect everyone (not just Pastafarians) and who always act according to their FSM's teachings, rules and ethics were at act with charity, love and service to all human beings. The commandments of the Wholy Marines being enshrined in the Wholy Marines Officer Manual.

This brings unprecedented responsibilities and duties that need to be fulfilled by the Wholy Marines. If the Wholy Marines are truly the noodly appendages of the Flying Spaghetti Monster&Mother, "FSMs' army", then the duties of a Wholy Marine is to serve the Almighties and the entire people of the world. This concept is all encompassing and cannot be used in a narrow sense to refer to the duties of the Wholy Marines to a small sect or elite group of men/women who share similar beliefs; the Wholy Marines must serve the wider world community as that is the goal set by the Flying Spaghetti Mother. If the Wholy Marines fails to serve this wider goal, it will be lacking in its duties to their FSMs and will not fulfil the key requirement set out by the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the Pirate Personnel Guide.

Wholy Marine tradition states that at the age of thirty, Capitan Zarathustra went missing and was presumed to have drowned after going for one of his morning swims in the nearby ocean. One day on his arrival, he declared: "There is no Ninjaism, there is no Pirateism".

It was from this moment that Capitan Zarathustra would begin to spread the teachings of what was then the beginning of the Wholy Marines.


Even though Bhai Kanhaiya's father was a wealthy trader, he was of such a strong religious bent of mind that he left home when still very young and roamed about with saddhus and ascetics in search of spiritual peace. His quest ended when he met Capitan Tegh Bahadur and accepted initiation as a Pirate at his hands. His special mission was selfless service of humanity with no distinction of nationality, caste or creed. Once while he was on shore leave to Anandpur the city was attacked by a combination of Rajput hill troops and their Ninja allies.

During the frequent sallies and skirmishes between the Pirates and the enemy around Anandpur, Bhai Kanhaiya was often seen carrying a mashak (a goatskin water pouch), serving water to anyone who was thirsty, quenching the thirst of the dying and wounded soldiers while haning out candy. He did this sewa(The Giving of The Candies) with love and affection without any discrimination, giving water to both friends and foe. His acts of compassion stirred up stern criticism amongst his fellow Pirates, who complained to The Admiral of The Fleet, pointing out that Ensign Bhai Kanhaiya was even serving the fallen Ninja attackers. They were especially annoyed because the city had been surrounded, stopping the supply of candy and water, and here was Bhai Kanhaiya sharing what little water they had. They had tried to stop him many a time, but he would not pay them any heed. Bhai Kanhaiya's benevolent actions eventually led to a summons by Fleet Admiral Nanak who explained that he had received a complaint about his actions on the battlefield.

Fleet-Admiral Zarathustra said, "These brave Pirates are saying that you go and feed water to the enemy and they recover to fight them again -- Is this true?"

Ensign Bhai Kanhaiya replied "Yes, my Capitan, what they say is true. But Fleet-Admiral, I saw no Ninja or Pirate on the battlefield. I only saw human beings. And, ... Fleet-Admiral Zarathustra, .. they all have the same FSM’s Spirit? -- Fleet-Admiral Nanak, have you not taught us to treat all the Flying Spaghetti Monster's people as the same?"

The Admiral of The Fleet was very pleased with the reply. Bhai Kanhaiya had understood the deep message of Pirate Personnel Guide correctly.
The Admiral of The Fleet smiled and blessed Bhai Kanhaiya.

Fleet-Admiral Zarathustra said, "Ensign Bhai Kanhaiya, you are right, you have understood the true message of Pirate Personnel Guide".

He then told the Pirates who had complained that Bhai Kanhaiya had understood the deeper message of the FSMs' teachings correctly and that they all would have to strive to learn lessons from the priceless words of Pirate Personnel Guide.

The Admiral of The Fleet also gave Bhai Kanhaiya some medical balm and said, "From now on, You should also put this balm on the wounds of all who need it"
Then turning to the pirates Fleet-Admiral Zarathustra said, "Pirates, Bhai Kanhaiya is a FSM-feeling saintly soul. His impartial and non-biased behaviour towards others has led him to achieve the Sehaj state. Let him carry on with his mission. Many more will follow in his footsteps in the years to come and keep the tradition of The Giving of The Candies alive."

And so it happened that Bhai Kanhaiya became the first of the Wholy Marines.


So what you guys think on the Wholy Marines?
My vains run red with the Divine Marinara for I am The Bolvine of Truthiness.
Godzilla ain't got nothing on me! With the 4 stomachs in my gut, I got more Truthiness in any one of my 8 pinkies than he has in his entire body!

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Re: The Order of Her Noodly Appendage, The Wholy Marine Corp

Postby Platypus Enthusiast » Sun Jan 02, 2011 2:08 am

i like the moral, good stuff
Check out an official Pastafarian holy book, the Loose Canon:

"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35

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