Quick Observation

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

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Conchigliette Convert
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Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:44 pm

Quick Observation

Postby Pirate_Ron » Tue Oct 11, 2005 8:12 pm

Yes, I know, newbie poster.

I have recently been touched by the noodly appendage. At first I was unaware of my enlightenment. All I knew was that I was drawn to start dressing in pirate garb, when suddenly a friend of mine translated the sign and I knew I was a pastafarian.

I have come here researching my new faith as I would like to hold a congregation in May of 2006 on a dry lake bed outside of Vegas.

Yes, I know the founder of our religion hates Vegas, but his movement is coming here, and we hope Pastafarianism will change the city for the better.

Enough about me though. I was noticing reading through these scriptures that it is all very reminicent of Christian Theology. What I want to know is if this is because of what was pushed upon us in our formative years that is making us translate the sacred semolina scrolls in this manner or that Christian Theology was translated improperly to begin with and this is the True translation.

I have had a vision, and in it, the Allmighty Noodle showed me how it was in the beginning.

In the Beginning there was only pasta. Pasta seeking more form created for himself meatballs and felt something was missing. After some pondering he decided he needed some sauce. Once the sauce was brought into being the noodle was lonely and tired of looking at the blank canvas that was the universe. And so Noodle began to create. He decided that his own looks were too lovely to keep in one place and so began to make meatballs in the image of his own (as the meatballs were his favorite feature) and began flinging them out through space. Knowing that away from the warmth of his being the meatballs would become cold and hard he sprinkled oil on a few of them and ignited them to keep them at a slow simmer. After this he looked around and with some left over sauce flying through the cosmos, reflecting beauitifully off the burning meatballs decided it was good.

Now he decided it was time to do something about the boredom, and approached the meatball that most closely resembled his Noodly Perfection. He then caused into being a sauce pan, and began cooking in it. Simmering that near perfection meatball so that he could mold it into that which he desired. He added some tomato sauce, injected deep into the meat ball so that it erupted out, with a dash of oregano and rosemary forests began to appear. The noodles that he had made for this project nearing cooked perfection he pulled them out and began to cut them into little pieces, sprinkling them upon the meatball. The noodles burrowed into the meaty goodness and all manner of beasts came out. With the dish almost to perfection, the Allmighty Noodle sprinkled a dash of salt on a batch of the pasta beasts and watched them change into small pirates.

Knowing that his creation was perfect he smiled, and added the final ingredient. The cheese. As the cheese settled upon the meatball the whole thing came to life and the Allmighty Noodle was happy. Content with his creation he sat and enjoyed a cool beer.

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