Mad Cow Disease

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Mad Cow Disease

Postby Wombatman » Fri Aug 26, 2005 10:47 pm

Is it acceptable to consume his Noodliness with meat of other varieties? Or are we to consider bovine spongiform encephalitis the means through which He calls us to His presence? Is BSE a rite of passage the FSM uses to cleanse us and ready us for His Saucepot in the Sky? Is it perhaps an attack on his Noodliness orchestrated by the seeming unbelievers? This is a crisis of faith. Please help!
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Postby Pasta Satyagraha » Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:23 am

Although I don't think that His Noodliness requires that we suffer the ravages of Mad Cow Disease in order to be touched by His Noodly Appendange, I do believe that it might be a mitzvah to do so. Much as Medieval Christians used self-flagellation to prove their faith, and used trials by ordeal to ascertain the will of their God, perhaps Mad Cow Disease brings us closer to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Er - you can try first, though. I'm as close to His Noodly Appendage as I want to get.
You must be the sauce you wish to see on the pasta.

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Postby gnoodles » Sat Aug 27, 2005 1:09 am

Auntie Dee Dee wrote:All meats and meat-like substances, derivatives and substitutes (possibly excluding Spam brand pork-like meatish product) have been found acceptable in His Eyes. He judges us not by the content of our Sauce and the items on our plate, but by our willingness to spread His Saucy Goodness to others.

This is, of course, correct. The important thing to remember is that Spaghetti is a (relatively) modern invention. It is intended to convey the image of our Noodly Saviour, but it is not, in and of itself, sacred. Instead, as Aunt Dee Dee points out, it's the spirit with which you consume your chosen dish that is important. Eating "real" spaghetti & meatballs will probably get you bonus points, but you can easily make up for it by wearing Pirate regalia or having particularly flimsy morals.
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Postby Capellini » Sat Aug 27, 2005 10:48 am

All noodles are holy in His eyes.

As for BSE, which, if it is transmissable to humans (that's still kind of iffy), is known as Creutzfeld Jakob Disease (CJD) is a disease that kills you most horribly. As FSM abhors idiocy over all things, I think getting CJD on purpose would be damn stupid, and he'd send you to the Boiling Waters for eternal damnation.
True terror lies in the futility of human existence.

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"The only freedom deserving the name, is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily, or mental and spiritual. Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seems good to themselves, than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest." - John Stuart Mill

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