Fake food certification

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The Dark Noodle
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Fake food certification

Postby The Dark Noodle » Sat May 30, 2015 2:28 am

This has appeared online
http://www.foodcertification.com.au/Pastapproved/
It states


Pastapproved
Many Pastafarians, or perhaps some, believe that food should be prepared according to the Pastapproved framework.
The key elements of the framework include:
All animals must be kept and killed as humanely as possible.
All spaghetti should be served al dente, the sauce juicy and the meatballs meaty
Chickens must be free range, and given access to a chicken-scale pirate ship to roost on.
Before slaughter, an animal's final meal shall be a large plate of pasta
All pasta must be Cruelty Free
All menu items must come with an optional side of bacon.
Milk should be at least 2% fat or you might as well drink chalk dust in seawater
Thou shalt not eat whales
Thou shalt not eat dolphins, because they're smarter than people who eat whales
Thou shalt not eat Wales.
Cannibalism is only acceptable with red wine.
Complete self-cannibalism is not permitted, as it causes spacial paradoxes and endangers space-time continuum.
The only part of a pig that should be eaten is the wing. And the rest.

There are also other rules which apply from time to time.
To get certified, click here.

Personally I do not feel it fits with the all inclusive nature of our Church as its wording seems to exclude the non-meat eating parts of our community.
The Dark Noodle
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The Dark Noodle
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Re: Fake food certification

Postby The Dark Noodle » Sat May 30, 2015 2:32 am

If we are going to have food certification I think this is all should be it.

1. Free from canned pasta.
2. Free from pre-grated cheese.
3. Does not contain any pets.
The Dark Noodle
AKA - The Rev. Dr. Jo Freddie

The Book of Piraticus 12:1-3
I gave you brains, the ability to reason, and free will for a reason.
Please use them.
If I say something dumb, question it.
http://www.loose-canon.info/ - A really Important Collection of Words.

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Monobaz
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Re: Fake food certification

Postby Monobaz » Sat May 30, 2015 3:36 am

It is true cats will only eat fresh and wholesome foods. We once invited friends to dinner, bolognaise was served and we were embarrassed to realise we were out of block parmesan cheese so had to settle for pre-grated. Our guests were merrily adding the pre-grated parmesan when first one cat landed on the table and indicated a penchant for the parmesan. The second cat followed immediately after and a huge fight broke out in the middle of the table. Nothing was spilled. The moral of the story is our cats love pre-grated parmesan.
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Cardinal Fang
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Re: Fake food certification

Postby Cardinal Fang » Sat May 30, 2015 11:52 am

Don't agree with the idea that the animal's last meal should be pasta either. If meat is going to be cruelty-free, then the animals should be fed their natural diets, not something we impose on them.

Also, have issues with the insistence that all milk be at least 2% fat. I have a friend who, for sound medical reasons, cannot eat much fat, so has to drink lower fat milk (1% is about as high as she can go without being unwell. It tastes okay but is lower fat than semi skimmed).

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Nef Yoo BlackBeard
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Re: Fake food certification

Postby Nef Yoo BlackBeard » Tue Jul 21, 2015 6:29 pm

um
day shud haf alla tha ize creem day want an
alla tha kake day want an
alla tha petzer day want an soda an kandee an
uffer stuff day want rrrrrrrr
cabin boy fir hyer. jyint hat no hextra charj.


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