Ancient Scripture on the Pastafarian Seasons

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Ancient Scripture on the Pastafarian Seasons

Postby jbender23 » Thu Mar 06, 2008 12:31 am

Recently discovered in the remains of Booty the Peglegged's great ship, an ancient scripture discussing the Pastafarian seasons:

"...and the greatness was very great, and the brightness very bright, and He appeared through the brightness and greatness of the heavens, and they were in awe of his greatness and brightness. There was much Yohoing and Ahoying at his approach, which was ended abruptly when He spoke.

He told them that they must organize their time better. He was astonished that they had never took notice of the semi-annual climate changes. He assumed that they had been far to drunk to notice. So he "layed down the law" in a manner of speaking that they could understand:

"When the year be starting" he said in their native dialect "Everything be going all green, and pretty flowers be blooming from the depths. Yarr, tis a joyous time indeed me hearties, for life be starrrtin' anew. Ye'll call this time 'Spring.'

"Then, when everything be in full bloom, it'll be getting real humid and hot. This time will be called 'Hot' and ye should be lyin' about, drinkin grog and cooking meat goods on yer griddles.

"After 'Hot' leaves'll start falling off the trees and turning fine earthy colors, like red and yellow. We'll call this 'October.' This, too, is a joyous time. Ye should spend it giving sweets away to the children, and dressing up in fine little outfits.

"Then, the plants'll start looking glum and dull, but this is not a sad occasion. No my friends, this be 'Holiday' and snow will be fallin from the sky and ye should be loving one another, and exchanging gifts and one not. This one'll be a real hit!"
"It never got weird enough for me" - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

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