Anchient religious war?

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

Moderator: All Things Mods

Conchigliette Convert
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2005 2:19 pm
Location: Seattle, WA

Anchient religious war?

Postby Gyre » Tue Sep 13, 2005 2:44 pm

Today I saw the following article on

Original Shaolin monks, clearly touched by His noodly appendage, produce big budget Monks vs Pirates martial arts movie. Yarrr-fu ensues.

I had no idea that Pastafarians had been in a religious war with Buddhist monks. Should that be taken as indication that the Shaolin are for global warming? It's hard to believe they could be anti-noodle.
"God is dead" -Nietzsche
"Nietzsche is dead" - God
"More beer?" - Flying Spaghetti Monster

User avatar
Swashbuckler Saucy
Lumache Lieutenant
Posts: 636
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:39 pm
Location: Summer Paradise

Postby Swashbuckler Saucy » Tue Sep 13, 2005 8:00 pm

Out of all those Shaolin movies, the temples were in the mountains in a very cold place, so logic dictates that they would be in favor of global warming, but fighting pirates is just too wrong on so many levels.
Mmmm, pasta.

User avatar
Now 3.1415926% Recycled Opinions
Posts: 700
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2005 1:39 am
Location: Guarding the Sanctity of His Pirate Temple

Postby Cerberus » Tue Sep 13, 2005 9:04 pm

Woah my siufu (martial arts teacher) would kill me. Literally. He's a shaolin (or ex-shaolin) monk, and i'm a pirate. I should tell him just before i have to fight him in our next tournament (OMFSM i'm going to die!).
Religious war at its very simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.

Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Maccheroncelli Missionary
Posts: 25
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 4:12 pm
Location: Independance, Oregon

Postby Cynicus » Tue Sep 13, 2005 9:06 pm

This brings up another improtant question.

My roomate is in possesion of a very old movie entitled "Shaolin vs. Ninja" in which monks battle (guess what?) a ninja clan.

This could either mean that we share a common enemy with the Ninja... or this conflict is much more complicated than we first thought.

Either way, we must sharpen our cutlasses in preperation for the holy war.
If I had a strainer
I'd Strain in the Mornin'
I'd Strain in the Evenin'
All over this wooooooorld

User avatar
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
Posts: 57
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:17 am
Location: Boise, ID

Postby MTL » Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:06 pm

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Ninja = Japanese land Pirate.

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is MORE COWBELL

User avatar
The Cheat
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:15 pm
Location: Connecticut

Postby The Cheat » Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:23 pm

MTL wrote:I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Ninja = Japanese land Pirate.



User avatar
Admirable Admiral Qwerty
Posts: 12884
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:38 pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know

Postby Qwertyuiopasd » Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:28 pm

remember, all the pirates, ninja's, and vikings are cool. but of course even pirates fight amoungst themselves for booty, as do the ninja's and vikings, so it is natural that they would fight. all the more to entertain his great noodilyness.

after all, we are here to entertain him, and whats more entertaining? ninja vs. pirate movie? or ninja and pirate happy buddy movie?

i thought so.

wait... you said happy buddy movie?

*sticks fork in ear*
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:

Any statistical increase in the usage of the :idiot: emoticon since becoming Admin should not be considered significant, meaningful, or otherwise cause for worry.

Return to “Scripture and Lore”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest