Ongoing Pun Competition

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Roy Hunter
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Roy Hunter » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:21 pm

A trolley dolly backed into the aeroplane's propellor. Dis-arsed-er.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
"Are you OK?" daftbeaker (<-- very good question, people should ask it more often.)

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ET, the Extra Terrestrial
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Sat Dec 28, 2013 3:19 am

A Scottish farmer sees a Welsh farmer with two sheep under his arms and he asks, "Are you gonna shear them?” "Nope", says the Welshman, "they’re both for me".
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

What happens when all the renewable energy runs out?
-- Victoria Ayling

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."

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Monobaz
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Monobaz » Tue Nov 18, 2014 4:07 am

Roy Hunter wrote:I was trying to decide whether to get a frontal lobotomy or not, but to be honest it's a no-brainer.


I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
"There was a time when religion ruled the world. It is known as the Dark Ages." Ruth Hurmence Green

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ET, the Extra Terrestrial
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:20 am

You guys want to hear an ebola joke? You probably won't get it.
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

What happens when all the renewable energy runs out?
-- Victoria Ayling

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."

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daftbeaker
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby daftbeaker » Thu Nov 20, 2014 2:10 pm

One from a student today:

I'm a rastafarian musician and my instrument is the triangle. I just stand at the back and ting.
Too old to give up but too young to rest - Pete Townshend

I would rather be a rising ape than a falling angel - Sir Terry Pratchett

I liked his explanation about what brought him to chemistry as much as the video itself - pieces o'nine

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bonsaiherb
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby bonsaiherb » Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:38 am

I believe all such frivolous wordplay is to be punished? and that perhaps we need a punitentiary for offenders.


Old one I remember: "I saw VanGogh in my local. I offered him a drink, but he declined with,'no thanks, I've got one 'ere."

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StayThirstyMyAguila
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby StayThirstyMyAguila » Fri Mar 03, 2017 9:25 am

Puny humans.

That's all I've got.

Oh yeah, I'm volunteering to help at an Easter Egg hunt 'cause I hear it'll be . . . (you know what's coming) grate, and that there'll be cheese.


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