Enlargement adds - post them here

[ChowMein]

Certainly matey, and it should help with the enlargement problem:

Why , thets juss as mesmerizin' as thee spot of lite dancin' on me wall .

[Tigger_the_Wing]

That looks very uncomfortable. Without a decent bra, by the time she's my age they'll be hanging round her knees.

I'm not sure if I even want you to elaborate.

The information is on this forum. It just probably isn't what you'd expect...

[Tigger_the_Wing]

Hey, what if you are an elderly grandmother?

Well, I'm not exactly elderly, but I am a grandmother - and my eircom inbox is daily stuffed with the enlargement ads inviting me to be the best and biggest boy on the block.

That's why I switched to Hotmail. I just log into my old account once a month to delete several hundred junkmails.

Anyway, how many of them out there can claim like I can that they actually had two penises for several months?

OK, they seem to have started to leave me alone - instead of 600 junk mails to empty, I only had nine; most for for watches, one was apparently from me to myself yesterday (even though I haven't logged in for months), but there was this gem:

Every woman will choose a man with a monster tool if the rest is equal.

Oh, just spotted this one as I was deleting them:

Don't waste $ on over-priced pills, we have competitive prices: $1.11 forViagra, $1.93 forCializ + free pills with every order nzez 6ifg

I've had over 200 filters defined, but I've been away so long they've all been deleted!

[DaveL]

Ok stick me down for 30 points...here's a few gems from my inbox - all Canadian pharmacy adds.

Your private xxx life willbe so good that you wont help from boasting it.

Turn your bedroom life into a volcano of pleasure.

Wish to add more fire ino your bedroom life?

[DaveL]

This one is just poetic gem...

It's time for you to discover that your tool can grow like a flower.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

This one is just poetic gem...

It's time for you to discover that your tool can grow like a flower.

Bloody hell! I don't want my todger to bloom like a flower! Ow!

[black bart]

I don't seem to get those e mails anymore...ever since I had the extra 7 inch...er, ever since quite a long time.

[Tigger_the_Wing]

I don't seem to get those e mails anymore...ever since I had the extra 7 inch...magnifying glass er, ever since quite a long time.

Fixed.

[DaveL]

Would anyone like to help Peter Wong out? Sounds like a great guy and rich. Perhaps he's even Nigerian!

An Iraqi made a fixed deposit of 44.5m USD in my bank branch and he died with his entire family leaving behind no next of kin,am ready to share 50/50 with you if you choose to stand as my deceased client next of kin. Pls indicate by sending the following below to show your interest.

1.YOUR FULL NAME:
2.YOUR RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS:
3.YOUR OCCUPATION:
4.YOUR PHONE NUMBER:
5.DATE OF BIRTH:
6.MARITAL STATUS:

Your response with the requested information should be sent to reach me at my personal email address below: [email protected]
Yours Truly,
Mr. Peter Wong.

[pieces o'nine]

^ this cries out for a comedy response.

[black bart]

I can't see anything Wong with it.

[Roy Hunter]

Oh well, if we're including ridiculous financial scams as well as enlargement ads, I originally posted this one in The glorious amd mighty return of SPAM WAR thread:

Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
Plot 555
Misau Street
PMB 437
Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA


Dear Mr. Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager

[black bart]

He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

Lol

[Rainswept]

I'm sick of logging on to me email account to find my inbox full of stuff about getting a certain body part getting enlarged

Swap to Gmail. That fixed all my spam mail issues.

[farfalla]

(hi Rain, )