Male cheuvanist pigs.

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Darwin's Chainsaw
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Male cheuvanist pigs.

Postby Psychodoughtech » Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:14 pm

Okay, so my best friend is the biggest woman-hater I've ever met. The thing is, her name is Sabrina. I've known her for about 9 years now, and she's the biggest male cheuvanist pig there is. That alone would be funny enough to start a thread, but I'll save the details of that for a later date. Right now, though, I have a request of you, my dear reader and forum posting brothers and sisters: I want all of your "Male Cheuvanist Pig" jokes. Just to get it started, and to show you what I mean, here are the very few that I know:

Q: What do you call a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing. You already told her twice.

Q: What does it mean when your woman comes out of thekitchen yelling at you?
A: It means you made her chain too long.

Now you get the gist. Help me expand her humorous repetoire with your additions to this thread.

Note to the readers of the fairer sex - please take no offence, as this thread is for the benifit of a female.
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Dr. Otis Lansa
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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa » Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:17 pm

Please try to keep the violence against women themes out of it, and play with gender roles instead. Note that this is a potentially (very) offensive topic, so keep it within reason.

My favorite:

Q. How many men does it take to clean a shithouse?
A. None. That's wimmin's work. :mrgreen:

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Postby oscartheaussiedog » Fri Jun 09, 2006 3:42 am

Whats wrong with the voilence against women part of the joke, if its all in jest. Its pretty obvious that nobody here advocates this voilence, and i dont really think its a problem (joking about it), anyway, here are some good ones:

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

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Postby Griffin » Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:01 pm

Yeh, like DD says. There's offensive and there's just plain nasty. Satire can be the hardest form of wit.

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Postby mepper » Fri Jun 16, 2006 3:29 am

i had a mammogram at md anderson (male)..hurt like a bitch ..i was the only guy in a room of 12 women..they had to cut me out from the herd when it became time to change into gowns (i was like if you screw those plates any tighter together i'll be leaving it here and it wont matter)..i didnt like the ultrasound either..friggin cold jelly

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Postby Chimaera » Sun Jun 18, 2006 8:12 pm

singidunum: That was completely brilliant -- I hope Rebecca and Gary got top marks for it.
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Postby Alpaca » Thu Jun 22, 2006 12:30 am

So, how do you get a message to a male chauvinist pig?




Through the mail chauvinist pig!

Way to kill the thread!

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Postby Cricket » Thu Jun 22, 2006 11:51 pm

John's favorite (which he got away with because he so resoundingly wasn't a male chauvinist) was...

"How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?"

"None...let the bitch cook in the dark."
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Goat Starer
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Postby Goat Starer » Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:53 am

I am really sorry for this but.......

Q. What do you do if a bird craps on your car?

A. dump her.
Best regards



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Postby Grey » Mon Jul 03, 2006 11:02 am

That's a great one!

One my math teacher told us.

Q. How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
A. None, it should be open when she gives it to you.
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Postby Alpaca » Mon Jul 03, 2006 1:42 pm

That's a good one.

Oh, wait, sorry,

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Postby The Nerd » Wed Jul 05, 2006 7:40 pm

My wife asked for a new watch. I told her, "Hey, there's a clock on the stove!"

And seriously, folks, you can't be free to say what you want without other people potentially being offended.

If you're offended, don't participate. Don't force the others to edit themselves for someone else's potential offense. It's BS.

Eventually, you're left with nothing to talk about.

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Postby mepper » Wed Jul 05, 2006 8:45 pm

heh i know soooooo many jokes that would get me perma-banned i don't tell them (well usually..when my mind is working right)

ok so a man walks into a talent agency..and says "sir..we have this family act.. i really think you would like it"

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Postby Alpaca » Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:14 pm

Okay, then!

I've split off all the arguing from this thread. Keep it in the Forum Issues thread, please. One is quite enough. If y'all wanna scream at people in other contexts, the politics forums are always open. Otherwise, keep it civil and at least vaguely on topic, or keep out of it.

Split off posts are available for viewing upon request via private message.

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St John the Blasphemist
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Postby St John the Blasphemist » Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:05 pm

singidunum wrote:That night while the princess dined on frog's legs, she laughed to herself and thought, "I don't f***ing think so."

But suddenly, when she picked up one of those frog's legs with her fork and held it to her lips, a pair of burnt up human legs appeared! One strewn across the table and one stuck on her fork (with the foot in her mouth).

Credit to Don Martin (Mad Magazine) for that one. hehe.

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