Talk With A Cockney Accent Game

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

For those unacquainted with the word, it's basically old English talk.
Example: Wot's all this then? I say, old boy, looks as though you've got a bit of cad in you, chap!

So yeah. basically, the game is, you try and have a normal conversation, but make it as Ye Olde English as possible, kay?

I'll start.

I say, this whole change of Prime Ministership in Aurstralia, Kevin Rudd giving old Johnny the good heave ho, do you think that's all cricket?

[black bart]

You are a little confused here matey...Cockney is not posh it comes from the Streets of London, the common folk (like Madonna and Guy Richie), can incorporate Rhyming slang and it goes a bit like:

Awright Geezza Gor blimey, I went for a ruby last night and it was hot enough to burn the aris off a fireman...only cost me an Ayrton Senna though, luv a duck.

[flux]

Have a J.Arthur with a China.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Oi say, Ol' blackie, you be right. I guess oi'l go and buy meself a big duck for the win'ner, eh guv?

[black bart]

Blimey me old china...that'l cost ya a pavarotti.

[MPTrooper]

And this ladies and gents is why I don't go to England much. You bastards tell US to speak "Right proper Queens English" when all I'm reading here are made up words that make no sense.

::grumbles and walks off::

[ken worley]

pavarotti=tenor=tenner= ten pounds, right?

*brain crackles with intuitive synapse-ery*

[Chimaera]

And this ladies and gents is why I don't go to England much. You bastards tell US to speak "Right proper Queens English" when all I'm reading here are made up words that make no sense.

Some rhyming slang has made it into common English speech, including cobblers (cobbler's awls) and berk (Berkley hunt).

You can get a rough idea of Cockney speech from Only Fools and Horses (though some of the slang they use was made up for the show).

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

pavarotti=tenor=tenner= ten pounds, right?

Good one, guvner.

I tink that we must all be a cup'l ov berks and cads, eh wot?

[black bart]

And this ladies and gents is why I don't go to England much. You bastards tell US to speak "Right proper Queens English" when all I'm reading here are made up words that make no sense.

::grumbles and walks off::

You are absolutley right mate...cockneys are a bunch of tossers who want a good kick in the Davinas...you stay over there and study english a la Walter Matthau.

I'm off to feast me mince pies on picture of kylie minogue's wrigley.

[black bart]

pavarotti=tenor=tenner= ten pounds, right?

*brain crackles with intuitive synapse-ery*

Spot on me old fruit

[ken worley]

pavarotti=tenor=tenner= ten pounds, right?

*brain crackles with intuitive synapse-ery*

Spot on me old fruit

What?!? You Callin me a poofter?!?

*shoots BB with a cannon*

*waits for explanation*


(shoot first, ask questions later)

(or ask questions, but shoot immediately thereafter, before waiting for reply)

(Or, shoot while asking questions, then loudly pronounce, a' la Dennis Moore "Let that be a warning to you!")

[black bart]

<Coughs up blood as surgeon removes cannon ball without anaesthetic...crew members gather round to hear Black Bart's last words (at least that's what they hope they are)...

"Tell Hingland that I, cough splutter, have done my duty, cough, cough...tell that blaggard Worley, cough...that Old Fruit is rhyming slang for...cough, fountain of bloody gore, cough...Fruit Gum...Chum!"

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

I say, I say I say, old boy. Was that really necessary? I mean, old bean, cannonballs hurt like the dickens. I should know. I took one down the ol' gullet not three tickins back.

[Beardyoldblaggard]

In connection with the Berkley Hunt reference above there is a more modern (1970s) but similar (except more offensive) useage of James Hunt (former F1 driver).

As in "that Black Bart is a right James"

Anyway I'm off for a pony now, toodlepip.