Corrupt a wish.

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Roy Hunter
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Roy Hunter » Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:25 pm

I ain't too smart, but granted: you have the money, influence and good looks of Tony Blackburn.

I wish I was as good a drummer as Gilson Lavis
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks.
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Goldfish » Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:31 pm

Granted, however immediately after the wish is granted your arms are removed surgically by two Venezuelan surgeons/organ harvesters.

I wish I could shoot lasers out of my eyes.
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Roy Hunter » Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:37 pm

Granted. However, the lasers are attached to the rest of the Large Hadron Collider, so once the lasers have shot out of your eyes, the rest of the infrastructure shreds your body like threading a camel through the eye of the Falkirk Wheel.

I wish I got to keep all my limbs, muscular function and co-ordination after gaining my Gilson-like powers...
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
"Are you OK?" daftbeaker (<-- very good question, people should ask it more often.)

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Goldfish
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Goldfish » Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:47 pm

Granted! However your body can't contain that much power and when you go to the bathroom you release a crap so long and powerful it causes your body to immediately dehydrate and deflate.

I wish a stray cat would coil a nice steamer in my neighbor's mailbox.
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) » Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:52 pm

Granted, but it's a steamer clam and as such, the effect on your neighbour is not 'specially interesting..

i wish my local library had a complete set of Discworld (& Hogfather on DVD)
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM

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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Roy Hunter » Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:04 pm

Granted. Sir Terry Pratchett delivers them to your door, no less. This wish is already corrupted by his obvious debility, so I don't need to annoy you further. Happy new year.

I wish we had a better handle on sorting out our neurological deficits.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
"Are you OK?" daftbeaker (<-- very good question, people should ask it more often.)

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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) » Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:16 pm

Me, too..erm...Granted! except for the slight translation error *hrumph hrumph*..so we have "handles, better--Ref.:new-row-loggy-cal deaf-shites" filed under "Daleks, how to potty-train"...& happy new year back atcha..

I wish i'd not hyperextended my right biceps muscle again (but that would require me not to have acted like a total fuckwit in the first place...oh well)
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM

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Roy Hunter
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Roy Hunter » Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:54 pm

Granted - your penis is now closer to the centre of your body.

I wish New Year's TV didn't suck so much..
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
"Are you OK?" daftbeaker (<-- very good question, people should ask it more often.)

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Goldfish
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Goldfish » Thu Jan 01, 2009 4:19 pm

Granted, the celebrations for 2010 are the best in years after Dick Clark finally dies. However, being unable to rest Dick Clark's ghost comes to your house and haunts you for the rest of your days.

I wish there was chinese food being delivered to me free of charge right now.
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) » Thu Jan 01, 2009 7:34 pm

Granted..it's free of charge cuz it's from NYE 2006 and the little boxy containers have become one with their contents...are you ready for sentient gwai ho nun chai? (is anyone??)

i wish tomorrow's roof expedition will be 1) successful & 2) mostly injury-free..
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM

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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby fueledbycoffee » Thu Jan 01, 2009 9:12 pm

Granted. It's mostly injury-free, but there is that one moment where you fall off and break your leg.

I wish that I could interview Leonard Cohen.
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Thu Jan 01, 2009 9:31 pm

Granted. It's a wonderful face-to-face interview, except he has excessive flatulence the whole time, and the window won't open.

I wish for a happy, healthy and prosperous year for everyone. Except that bastard who stole my mom's money.
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

What happens when all the renewable energy runs out?
-- Victoria Ayling

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."

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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Moral Minority » Fri Jan 02, 2009 4:48 pm

Granted. It turns out that that was you, while somnabulating. You are the only miserable person in the world.

I wish I had tofu in my refrigerator.

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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Fri Jan 02, 2009 5:15 pm

Granted. Too bad your refigerator is broken so that instead of keeping things cool, it heats them to intolerably high temperatures.

I wish the weather around here was not quite so damn cold.
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

What happens when all the renewable energy runs out?
-- Victoria Ayling

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."

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Moral Minority
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Re: Corrupt a wish.

Postby Moral Minority » Fri Jan 02, 2009 6:10 pm

Granted. It's average temperature and instead of snow and ice, you get sludge. (like me. Gotta love the Mediterranean)


I wish I was trained in the use of single-handed scimitars.


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