Piratic Poetry

[Roy Hunter]

Black Bart was a pirate cap'n, he cruised the coast of Spain,
His poetry was of such a quality that it might cause you pain,
"Oh Bart! Why are your poems so bad?" cried the Commodore of Gibraltar,
"Ah, well, you see", replied Bart, "It's because for some reason I always put more words into the last line of my poems than perhaps I really ought ter".

[Roland Deschain]

^

In days of old when midgets were bold,
And pirates were just invented,
They'd sail on their ships eating fish with their chips,
And feel all round contented.

Their offspring contrived to try to survive,
And started to become all wayward.
The FSM, said once "Ahem",
And that was the end of that lot.

[Ravi Oli]

^^Roy you forget bart is part Vogon on his father's side...

[pieces o'nine]

Arrrgh, Bart's tolde thee tale o'sellin 'is mum
t' thee Aztecs fully many a toime.
But he's never sayed nought about 'is olde dad.
Perhaps because thee extra syllabification an Vogonish sintax means that hit never wood ryme.

[DavidH]

Our talented Pieces o' Nine
Wrote her verses while pickled in wine;
Sadly, inebriation
Inhibits creation
And the whole thing got totally out of hand when she tried to squeeze far too many words into the last line.

NB This is totally unfair because Pieces was parodying Bart. I'm just in a bad mood this morning.

[black bart]

DavidH hails from Hereford
Where ancient Britons wore nothing but Wode
They got up in morning
And giving no warning
They did themselves a terrible injury with their swords

[DavidH]

^ But you put it in the past tense....

[Ravi Oli]

Our bart's a lad with artistic flair
[makes up for his lack of hair]
but us he can't sway
when we hear him say
'It's just a solar panel for the worlds greatest lurrrrrrrrve machine.'

[Qwertyuiopasd]

Oh, hey, so, um, I wrote a sonnet for English class.

BEHOLD:

When I set sail and leave land for my love
She punishes me with her fav’rite curse:
Leviathan below and storms above
As well as pirates come to cut my purse.
Although I be with mates both bold and brave
And there be plenty grog to go around,
The thought of her returns. I am her slave.
No choice, it is to her or hell I’m bound.
And yet my only love remains this sea,
Her sunsets beautiful as any wench.
I long for her, though cruel and harsh she be,
I have a thirst that only she can quench.
Because my wanderlust is fierce and strong
By wind and waves of blue I’ll sail lifelong.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Um...

Theyre wuz ay yung man frum nantucket...

um...

wut rimes wiff nantucket?

[skyweir]

......^
Wuz emptyin' 'is chum bucket
Wen too 'is alarm
'E were missin' an arm
cuz a shark cum oop an' tuk it.

[DavidH]

Hey, Qwerty, that's a proper Shakespearian sonnet. You've managed the minor turn of thought after line 4 and then the major turn to begin the sextet, with the final couplet summing up. Theme: the sea as a mistress - very Shakespearian. It flows well and draws a pretty picture.

IMO you should get a high mark for that, though some stuffy old bugger may object that some of the vocabulary is beneath the dignity of this verse-form.

Are you following Swato's sonnets at HOT?

[Qwertyuiopasd]

No, but I should go stop by there again sometime, I'll look for that thread. The sonnet assignment was fairly basic, as long as you had the proper rhyme scheme, iambic pentameter, and a volta in the right place, you got full credit. Haven't gotten the grade back, but I assume I did well on it. I asked in advance about using pirate grammar, and my professor responded by reminding me that Shakespeare didn't necessarily follow the conventional grammar either.

[black bart]

Swato was a Pirate lad
From Germany he hailed
His beard was hilarious
But his jokes so often failed

[DavidH]

Poor old Swato! He writes some pretty good sonnets, you know, though mostly about Cthulhu.