Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Deeeer anti bAkBerd .

Um um hi lefftid me sokz et tha lawndree an sumwun took me wite sok an leef behine anudder leff wun

Noaw hi haff too leff sokz an no wite wunz .

Wot shud hi doo fur wevenj ?

Capin a nonny muss onna bord me Goode sHup LOllyPop
rrrrrrrrrrrrr
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[Auntie Blackbeard]

Avast Cappin Nonny Mouse, ahoy!

Tis such thee shaem wen ower sox rrr miss matchdd, I ken undderrstannd yore kneed 4 rrrrevenge, yarrrgh! If ye sends thee norrmal rrremittance 2 my arrcount I havv thee purrfeckk sox theef rrrrevenge, and 4 thee nommynull hextra charrrg, I ken tells ye how 2 maek use ov 2 leff sox. Maek paymint qwikkly.

Anti BlackBeerd

[Auntie Blackbeard]

Ahoy Cappin Munny Mouse. Thankk ye 4 yore qwik attenshun 2 paymint. I noaw ken owtline yore rrevenj tak tik and solve thee 2 leff sox delemmargh, yarrrgh.

Frum Portsmowff sale sou sou eest 2 Souwff A Merrycar and proseed round thee Cape Horn then nor eest 2 lattytewd 16 souwff thence wesst on thee traed winds till ye reech thee eest coawst ov Terrra Austrralis. Sennd sum landlubberrs a shore 2 colleckt thee leeves ov thee Gympie Gympie trree but maek shaw yew dow’nt tuch it. Then reterrn 2 Portsmowff lawndry mat wiff thee stash ov Gympie Gympie leeves and a pear ov nice new sox thet yew borro’d frum old Unkkel MunnyBags. Plaec leeves in sox, but rememmerr, down’t tuch, yuse gluvs! Leave loaded sox at lawndry mat 4 thee sok theef. Is’t very likelee thee sok theef wiwl nevvarr nick yore sox agane. Thee morral ov thee storyry iz sweet rrrevenge duzzent cum eesy, yargh.

Az 4 thee problum wiff thee 2 lefft sox, awl ye nead do is tern wun sok inside owt.

Arn’te Blakk Beerr
Yer piratical prroblems solvd here (at a fee).

[Monobaz]

.....And the sun was arisen in the west .........
.....becoz we tuuk Auntie BB's hadvice an' saled SSE frum Pawtsmuff 2 tha eest coast ov Sowf Amerrikar.

(Sailing up the Seine is one way to see Paris I suppose - I see what you mean about revenge not coming easy!)