Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

Arrr, I be a pirate!

Moderator: All Things Mods

User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
Posts: 24540
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart » Wed Aug 08, 2012 7:53 am

Dear Auntie

I be exceedinglee trubbled by thee image o thee young man above...he aint got any signs o grubbyness like wot I have...wot thee eck has he done to imself to end up lookin all untarnished like...it aint normal I tells ye.

Also why does ye keep sendin me these packets o orrible tastin biscuits, all chewy and nastee wiv no weevils and labelled: SOPE, or somesuch.

Yours Cap'n Black from head to Foot.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

User avatar
Griffin
WatsonOfSherlock
Posts: 2251
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:51 pm
Location: London

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Griffin » Wed Aug 08, 2012 9:13 pm

Dear Cap'n Black-allover
are the biskits h'attached ter ropes?
Yrs
Cap'n Treadmill-Powershower
Grand Deducer Watson of Sherlock. NoName, no pack drill. Astral zone changed five times a day (flexible). Great at manifesting parking spaces by thought control. Hatred of terminology of survivors and commitment to win-win reality.

User avatar
Ravi Oli
Sorcerer of Sauce
Posts: 3401
Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2011 5:40 am
Location: Awstrailya Mate

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Ravi Oli » Thu Aug 09, 2012 4:01 am

black bart wrote:Dear Auntie

I be exceedinglee trubbled by thee image o thee young man above...

Arrrgghhh matey... iffin ye lookeded a little loike the yung lad an' a lot less loike yerself Oi reckun Arntie'd tickle yer fancy fer yer.
Send lawyers, guns and money...

User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
Posts: 24540
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart » Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:07 am

Ravi Oli wrote:
black bart wrote:Dear Auntie

I be exceedinglee trubbled by thee image o thee young man above...

Arrrgghhh matey... iffin ye lookeded a little loike the yung lad an' a lot less loike yerself Oi reckun Arntie'd tickle yer fancy fer yer.


Wiv her beard she certainlee would matey an no mistake!!!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

User avatar
Griffin
WatsonOfSherlock
Posts: 2251
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:51 pm
Location: London

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Griffin » Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:54 pm

Deer Antwy Blackfiddle

Oi be 'avin terrribel trubbel wiv me teef. Me dentist h'insisted on paintin' em wite h'insted o' the yusual black. Wot can I do ter rectifiey the sityuassiun?

Yrs
Cap'n Treadmill-Worthy
Grand Deducer Watson of Sherlock. NoName, no pack drill. Astral zone changed five times a day (flexible). Great at manifesting parking spaces by thought control. Hatred of terminology of survivors and commitment to win-win reality.

User avatar
Auntie Blackbeard
Gramigna Grand Admiral
Posts: 1055
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 8:08 pm
Location: Ponderin' life atop me Crow's Nest

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Auntie Blackbeard » Fri Aug 31, 2012 8:04 am

Dear Cap'n Treadmill-Worthless

I suggests ye visits thee Admiral Benbow on a Saturday Nite an refuse ta pay yer tab at thee end o thee nite...ye'll soon ave plenny o black teef!

Regards,

Auntie
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.

User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
Posts: 24540
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart » Mon Sep 03, 2012 8:22 am

Dear Auntie

Hever since I haquired a gyant tankard, me bar tabbe has been gallopin out orf all proporshun wiv me finaanshul status. Can yew reckomend a handy source o cash hadvancement wot I can pay orf in easy hinstallments over thee next forty years?

Yours

Bart
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

User avatar
DavidH
Tagliatelle Trainee Monk
Posts: 4080
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:23 pm
Location: Shropshire, Western England

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby DavidH » Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:26 pm

Dear Bart,

Sail yer ship to Greece and borrow a million Cronans off of thee Germans. Yer'll get it easy.

Cap'n Dave

User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
Posts: 24540
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart » Tue Sep 04, 2012 7:01 am

DavidH wrote:Dear Bart,

Sail yer ship to Greece and borrow a million Cronans off of thee Germans. Yer'll get it easy.

Cap'n Dave


That be thee best hadvice wot Aunty never gave...I shall komishun a Greek Trirem an float about Corphew semaphorin thee German Government for a small loan orf 8 Billion Euro-Cronans...they wont heven pause ta swallow thee sauerkraut.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

User avatar
Griffin
WatsonOfSherlock
Posts: 2251
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:51 pm
Location: London

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Griffin » Fri Nov 23, 2012 2:13 am

Deer Anti BlackForestGateuax

I as ter hav the blud taken owtme arm termorrer. Can yr remind me, which way up thye will 'ang me didy wile they do it, h'ownlee between ye an' me, I am not too soor wot Oi got in me pokkets. I know Oi got nuffin between me ears but I'm no too boterred abow that. Also, wot siz cutlass will they use?

Your s not ('hat least OI downt fink I am)

Cap'n Lord Lordy Tradmill-Featherygills
Grand Deducer Watson of Sherlock. NoName, no pack drill. Astral zone changed five times a day (flexible). Great at manifesting parking spaces by thought control. Hatred of terminology of survivors and commitment to win-win reality.

User avatar
Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
Posts: 16633
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Fri Nov 23, 2012 2:24 am

Dear Aunty Blackbeard,

The woman I love and have been with for nigh onto three years has come to the conclusion that she isn't in a position to be involved in a long-term relationship.

As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with her.



What do I do now?

—Captain the Reverend C.S. Rowan, Esquire., Gentleman Pirate
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant. Except in cases of accidental microaggressions, in which case please explain it, so that we may better understand.

User avatar
bacon
Everything's Better With Bacon
Posts: 4722
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 12:42 pm
Location: in the frying pan

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby bacon » Tue Nov 27, 2012 12:16 pm

Deoir Anntee B,

Me froind allwees fergets ta soive sour cream wif da potato skoins . . . Wut cin Oi do ta help 'im ta rememmmmbargh?

Fank ye,

Me
Get your bake on. Image

TwistedSister wrote:You can't go wrong with a side of Bacon on your side.........

User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
Posts: 24540
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart » Wed Nov 28, 2012 9:16 am

Deer Auntie Black Sausage

Wot thee ell be sower creeem?

Can ye put it in thee Fyshe Heade Stooo?

Yours Nautically

A Salty Sea Dogge
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

User avatar
bacon
Everything's Better With Bacon
Posts: 4722
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 12:42 pm
Location: in the frying pan

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby bacon » Thu Nov 29, 2012 10:13 am

Deer Anntiee,

Bart's feesh hed stoo haid sum strainge whyte goo oin it. :shocked:

Oi'm scaryed.

- Bacon
Get your bake on. Image

TwistedSister wrote:You can't go wrong with a side of Bacon on your side.........

User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
Posts: 24540
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart » Wed Jan 02, 2013 8:15 am

Dear Auntie

Referrin to thee larghst person's henquiree...

I got some shower gel larghst Monkey an I has refoosed ta yoose it so far...

a.Will it elp wiv thee smell?

b.Will it lather up wiv salt water?

c.Owe do I gets me pants orf after all these years?
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.


Return to “Pirate Discussion”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests