PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

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Roland Deschain
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Roland Deschain » Sat Sep 24, 2011 8:52 pm

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Oi be bringin’ thee today a piece on the FSM’s ‘idden ‘istory. Ye all know that thee almighty FSM ‘as showed us ‘is presence throughout ‘istory, but most of it be ‘idden in thee mists o’ toime. Oi’ve been researchin’ this fer many a year, an’ ‘ave found many instances of ‘Is Noodly Appendages encrypted in ancient texts. This first one be on H P Lovecraaarft an’ ‘is ‘idden references to the FSM in ‘is books.

Ye may be aware that H P Lovecraaarft loved ‘is ‘orror stories, an’ was well-known fer the ones about the old god call Cthulu. Well, it be not a small cohincidence that this deity be appearin’ in the books, as Lovecraaarft was a deep follower of the FSM. Oi give ye a few quotes from The Call of Cthulhu:-

They worshipped, so they said, the Great Old Ones who lived ages before there were any men, and who came to the young world out of the sky. Those Old Ones were gone now, inside the earth and under the sea.

This be showin’ that the FSM was floatin’ in the sky an’ was around before there were any midgets an’ poirates. ‘E even mentions the sea, which be thee spirituwal ‘ome of us all. This be but a veiled reference to thee creation, which was done by ‘Im.

It seemed to be a sort of monster, or symbol representing a monster, of a form which only a diseased fancy could conceive. If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus…A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings; but it was the general outline of the whole which made it most shockingly frightful.

‘E now be discroibin’ the FSM boi means that were meant ter fascinate people ter look inter ‘Im. ‘E mentions that ‘E be a monster, which we all know, an’ ‘e mentions an octopus, with thee word tentacle comin’ soon after, both of which we know now to mean ‘Is Noodly Appendages. What be interestin’ ‘ere as well be the “scaly body” an’ “rudimentary wings”. These be ‘is way of sayin’ that there be meatballs in there, an’ that the FSM can floiy.

‘E doesn’t stop there, though. ‘E also wrote many letters to ‘is friends, an’ one o’ them sheds a great deal o’ loight on ‘is thinkin’s at thee toime:-

It's not a bad idea to call this Cthulhuism & Yog-Sothothery of mine ‘The Mythology of Hastur’...

Ye may note that ‘e wrote about the FSM, callin’ ‘Im Cthulhu, in many letters, but in this one ‘e tells us a little more than ‘e ‘as afore, with “The Mythology of Hastur”. Note ‘ow thee word ‘Hastur’ rhoimes so well with the word ‘Pasta’. Oi don’t believe this ter be a coincidence at all, but a deliberate way to encode ‘is love of The ‘Oly Meal.

Do ye need any more proof that Lovecraaarft loved the FSM, goin’ ter so much trouble ter descroibe ‘im so well? Oi ‘ope not. Oi’ll be back with more proof of ‘is influernce through toime in another eedishurn of Playbilge Magazine.
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed

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pieces o'nine
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby pieces o'nine » Sun Sep 25, 2011 1:07 am

Deere Heditarrrgh:

Oi bin reedin yer newe feechur on Cthulu/FSM t'me crewe an they be on thee hedges ov their seates, loike! An hit pleese yer wershippes, printe moor episodes soon afore they falls on thee decks.

Sin searly,
pieces o'nine,
Cap'n ov thee Mad Moggies Revenge
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart » Mon Sep 26, 2011 8:31 am

Aye it be most hinterestin Roland matey an me croo remoinded me of an adventoor as yet not reported in thee Long Winded Tales. Many years ago we were sailin thee wine dark seas when we espied an island wot looked forbidin ta say thee least. Bein the fools that we are we anchored orf shore an went to hinvestigate thee sinister island wiv the huge skull shaped rock, gyant signs sayin "BEWARE" and weather report suggestin a huge storm approachin which be loiklee ta cut sailors orf on a scary island wiv darkness approachin.

To cut a long story short we were stuck on thee island all night shakin wiv fear and snuggled all together as we were terrorised by a gyant flying monster of thee type ye has described. I don't rightlee know what was worse, spendin thee night so close ta me smelly croo or thee moment at day break when we realised we'd camped out under a gyant inflatable toy bat and thee whole island was a Theme Park.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Roland Deschain » Mon Sep 26, 2011 8:39 am

Aaaarrrrgggghh! Thanks Pieces an' Bart. Those be noice comments comin' from yer. Rest ye assured that there be more comin' your way once oi be doin' some more research. Oi 'as me notes, but them what isn't me cannot be readin' 'em, as they be in me own langwage. Oi needs ter collate them then transcroibe them ter parchment fer the rest of thee first.

Bart. That be a terrifying tale. 'Ere's 'opin' that ye don't 'ave ter go through the ordeal again, me matey.
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Ravi Oli » Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:31 am

Arrrrrrrr bart... fer a 'orrible moment thar Oi was thinkin' yee were gonna say ye waked unner Missus McGilacudy's clothesline and twer 'er bloomers flappin' o'er head!
Send lawyers, guns and money...

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart » Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:20 am

Ravi Oli wrote:Arrrrrrrr bart... fer a 'orrible moment thar Oi was thinkin' yee were gonna say ye waked unner Missus McGilacudy's clothesline and twer 'er bloomers flappin' o'er head!


:shocked:

Normally I loiks ta see bloomers flappin round me head mind ye. :lech:
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby PantyGnawer » Tue Oct 18, 2011 7:10 pm

Whar be tha Hocktober weench?

Me men be gattin awnry.

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Roland Deschain » Tue Oct 18, 2011 7:25 pm

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh! Oi be noticin' this foine wench in thee landlubber paypers reecentlee. Maybe she be wantin' ter be thee Miss October. Aaarrrggggghhhh!

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Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby PantyGnawer » Tue Oct 18, 2011 7:33 pm

Arrr! Oi fink yeeve jest found thee best place tah do away wit Nef Yoo.

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black bart
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart » Wed Oct 19, 2011 5:43 am

No, No, No...thee heditor's decision be final an he's disqualifyin thee above wench fer smugglin animals on board shyppe!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby DaveL » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:32 pm

YArrrrr...

Oi be signing that wench up immediately. Can ye give me her semaphore number?
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Roy Hunter » Wed Oct 19, 2011 4:21 pm

DaveL wrote:YArrrrr...

Oi be signing that wench up immediately. Can ye give me her semaphore number?
She doesn't do semaphore - can't move her arms enough. Send her a carrier pigeon instead. In fact, send two in case the first one gets lodged in a crevice or something...
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black bart
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart » Thu Oct 20, 2011 10:14 am

Roy Hunter wrote:
DaveL wrote:YArrrrr...

Oi be signing that wench up immediately. Can ye give me her semaphore number?
She doesn't do semaphore - can't move her arms enough. Send her a carrier pigeon instead. In fact, send two in case the first one gets lodged in a crevice or something...


:lol:

So that's where all me pet hamsters have gone!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby tanguerra » Thu Oct 27, 2011 8:58 am

Brrrrr!

'll share sumthin Sanchez has stored in me old Treasure Chest fer many a year... a youfful image of the young and stugglin' Tanguerra when nowt more than a miserable subaltern (an pennies waz tight - bit of the ol'd fashioned cheez cake to be sure).... Sure that'll wash out the evil taste o' them kittens er hamsters, be it whatever so...

Arrgh! Sure yuf is waisted on the young.

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Aaarrrrgggh!

Reed me booke. It's got pirates innit http:\\how-to-find-love.com

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Roland Deschain
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Roland Deschain » Thu Oct 27, 2011 3:46 pm

Aaaarrrrggggghhh! That be a foine paintin' o' ye! Do ye 'ave any more? :lech:
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed


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