Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

[DaveL]

Oh I say *sniff*

That looks like some of Lord McEnroe's antics. I do wish that man would behave himself, when he loses a point! One does hope Lord Spot will be umpiring at the next event!

[black bart]

Indeed Sir Dave...some people take their sport far too seriously...I mean one would think a game of croquet would a perfectly harmless event but...

[DaveL]

Oh I say Lord Bart,

I do believe that sport is 'ahead of its time' *guffaw* *guffaw* *snort*

[black bart]

Oh I say, that is a marvelous pun...one nearly choked on ones after lunch brandy...you certainly 'hammered' the point home...*snort, gurgle*

[DaveL]

I say, a game of croquet on my vast estate front lawn may be just the treat. I suggest we use the servants as the croquet gates for a bit of sport. What do you say old chaps!

[pieces o'nine]

Spiffing fun, eh what? But one cannot help notice the unseasonable heat, and despair for the condition of one's delicate lawn dress after such exertions. Perhaps one's butler might stand in for one?

[Roy Hunter]

Lady Pieces, I fear your butler may not be up to the job. He is rather old these days, and might not give you the performance you crave. Perhaps Mellors, the gardener, could give you one instead?

[pieces o'nine]

The gardener?

Surely you jest, Lord Hunter!
One fears that such a personage would be all too familiar with spent balls.

* feels faint at the indelicate suggestion *

[DaveL]

*Snort* *Chuckle*

Well I say! I hear he managed to smack many balls around the croquet course, with great gusto. Awfully sporting of him!

[DaveL]

So what may I pray tell is this Talk Like a Pirate Day thingy? Sounds so awfully quaint!

[black bart]

Well Lord Dave...I believe it involves talking in an unspeakably guttural fashion...rather like ones gardeners on ones estates down in Somerset and Cornwall.

[bacon]

What well-bred personage would have the audacity to converse with the gardener?

[Roy Hunter]

Why, M'lady Bacon, I would have thought you might have given your gardener very explicit directions on how to tend to his lady's garden to your satisfaction.

[bacon]

Lord Hunter, I would never lower my standards to speak with a common gardener. My instructions are perfectly carried out by my housekeeper. Of course, I do have to keep my eye on her . . . she has some sticky fingers when she is around the buffet table. Some strange predilection to kippers . . .

[black bart]

Why, M'lady Bacon, I would have thought you might have given your gardener very explicit directions on how to tend to his lady's garden to your satisfaction.

Quite, quite Lord Roystone, I am glad you brought the subject of lady gardens up. If not tended to by gardeners of the highest skill they can become quite unmanageable...at least that is what Lady Bart tells me and she insists on employing a strapping young gentleman from the Royal Horticultural Society.