The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim Lads)

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Roland Deschain
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby Roland Deschain » Tue May 29, 2012 7:03 pm

Oi don't be meanin' ter brag, doo to thee Freudian nature o' this haward, but this be me own cannon:-

Image
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"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed

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pieces o'nine
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby pieces o'nine » Tue May 29, 2012 9:39 pm

All roight, all roight. Oi sees as DaveL 'as -- fer inhexplickabull reasons -- declyned t'compete fer this year's hawarrrghd. 'E 'ad plenty ov chances.

Thee nommy knees be...
Black Bart
Ravi Oli
Roland Decshain


* dramatic pause to build some semblance of suspense in a mostly drunken crowd *

An thee winner ov thee Jim Lad is...
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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black bart
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby black bart » Thu May 31, 2012 7:25 am

Thee sound of massive gunfire loik thunder shatters thee silence of thee haward ceremonee as thee three nominknees fight it out in thee lobby...thee smoke slowly clears and...
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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black bart
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby black bart » Thu May 31, 2012 8:13 am

...and Nef Yoo has sneaked in and stolen all thee prize Lollypops for thee runners up...but even worse than that...
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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daftbeaker
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby daftbeaker » Thu May 31, 2012 11:14 am

*hic*
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Ravi Oli
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby Ravi Oli » Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:37 am

Cap'n pieces 'auls thee nommyknees ta thee stage afta confeeskatin' their balls for thee "imprompchew cannon firin' demonstrashun" in thee lobby.
"Roight you ladds... downt move until this is decidered...
And thee winner ov THEE BIGGEST CANNON HAWARD is...
Eenie, meenie, minie mo.... catch a pyrate by thee toe..."
Send lawyers, guns and money...

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black bart
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby black bart » Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:12 am

Cap'n Rolan Deschany Vice President of thee Rifle Associashun of Hamerica and owner of a gun so big it had ta go on a railway just ta get it to thee haward ceremony (an he threaghtened to sink me shyppe).

Well done Roland ye blaggard...speach!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Ravi Oli
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby Ravi Oli » Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:45 pm

Arrrrgggghhhhh bart... Oi'm wundarin iifin Rowland 'asnt happeared on accownt tis roomered 'e feints ev'ry toime 'e primes thart cannon ov 'is.
Send lawyers, guns and money...

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black bart
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby black bart » Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:09 am

Ravi Oli wrote:Arrrrgggghhhhh bart... Oi'm wundarin iifin Rowland 'asnt happeared on accownt tis roomered 'e feints ev'ry toime 'e primes thart cannon ov 'is.


Aye or it could be he's run outta hamyoonishun...Harr, harr, haarrrgh...I has ta larf at me own jokes these days...which remoinds me orf thee next categoree:

The Pirate with thee wittiest repartee in thee face of thee henemeee.

An thee nominshuns be:

My good self at thee skirmish outside thee Benbow on thee Hevenin of September 20th 1776.

Cap'n Ravi Oli at thee thee brawl infront of thee Fishmongers last friday.

Cap'n Roy McHunter durin thee All Portsmouth Pirate 5 a-side Tournament in March.

Cap'n Pieces O Nine Knorks during thee splendid scrimmage for hextra Fish Head Stoo rashuns last Wednesday.

Cap'n Roland Des Chaneee during thee pitched battle over thee chess tournament in thee back room of thee Benbow.

And now an hextra competishun for our lovelee toothless audience:

Can ye match thee hinsults to thee Pirate?

a. Is it time for your medication Cap'n?
b. Are those your eyeballs, I found them in me cleavage?
c. Nice aftershave, do ye get a free gas mask with it?
d. You've dressed like a Frenchman
e. Have you anything to declare ye blaggard?
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Roland Deschain
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby Roland Deschain » Wed Jun 13, 2012 11:02 am

*arrives dripping in sweat and out of breath*

Oi be hapologoisin' to me maytees fer bein' late...*gasps for breath*...but oi 'ad ter push me huge cannon meself after thee train promised me boi Bart, thee blackest poirate on thee 8th sea, failed ter deliver thee train. Hanyways, oi want ter thank the 10,000 people what built thee cannon fer me, and reluctantly thank me old crew fer runnin' it. Oi 'as a new crew now, an' they also be runnin' it foine as well, so much more thanks ter them then me old crew, the lazy, traitorous, pirateerin', mutinous sons an' daughters o' bilge rats.

An' oi 'as plenty o' hammunition, 'avin' just bought meself a pig farm on thee proceeds o' me last plunder.
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed

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black bart
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby black bart » Tue Jun 26, 2012 7:00 am

Arrr...it moight be just a coinkedence but just as thee Jim Lads Hawards be on I notice thee Black Spot has put in an happearance...an he just appens to have notched up a Long Winded Tale. :furious:
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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pieces o'nine
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby pieces o'nine » Tue Jun 26, 2012 12:19 pm

* VOICEOVER * Arrrgh, Pyrates an Wenches, Lubbers an Onnerd Gusts, there be hacktivity in thee judge's pit an roomers be flyin ov a possibull late hentry fer thee Long Winded Tale cat a'gory...
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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black bart
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby black bart » Wed Jun 27, 2012 5:46 am

Shiver me timbers...an I was lookin forward ta polishin up another himmitashun gold Jim Lad...

OK well thee Nominees be:

Black Bart (that be me...highly hinflooenshul in thee rum business an well heealed an all that) for his tale:

Alfonso the Brave. What has received rave reviews such as:

A highly hunyoosewal piece of prose from this master of thee Long Winded Yarn, well worth 15 cronan of anyone's cash - The Portsmouth Guardian (sponsored by Bart Industries).

The Curse of thee Shrunken Head. Fine tale though it be cannot be entered as there is pendin litigashun.

The Black Spot (orrible cut throat and general boozer) for:

Interview With the Van Driver. What is so fresh orf thee press it has yet to be heavily criticised by thee press.

Unless anyone else rattles orf a quick (completely based on truth) tale within thee week.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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The Black Spot
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby The Black Spot » Fri Jun 29, 2012 11:13 am

Well, ladies and gentlemen, events have taken yet another turn. The Black Spot was insisting that "The Fall of the House of Ushers" should be included in the nominations , but now we have learned that Bart has churned out yet another tale-- "The Three Captains".

The judging pit is in pandemonium and the assembled audience is turning ugly(er). But wait... the chief judge is rising to his feet...

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pieces o'nine
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Re: The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim La

Postby pieces o'nine » Fri Jun 29, 2012 5:19 pm

...HER feet...
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens


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