I take the liberty to republish my recent first posting that IMHO deserves a place on this board.
My recent ordainment as Pastafarian Minister endowed me with great spiritual powers, unfortunately not including a full command of English language. He will let my mistakes go unnoticed, as long as He as a penchant for us Italians, world noted for our spaghetti.
As soon as I felt not just touched, but firmly hugged by His noodly appendages, I received a Major Revelation that I would like to share with all the community. I'm talking about rock-solid quantitative data, capable of rooting FSM-ism even more deeply in mainstream science, and to comply with the strictest scientific standard.
Here are the data: for reasons so obvious as to need no explanation, FSM-ism is:
- approximately 40% better than most other religions;
- exactly 36,47% better than any other religion.
Just another brick in the wall of overwhelming scientific evidence of His existence, but nonetheless one more weapon for propaganda. And a smart one: our boldness in sharing precise, factual, quantitative data demonstrates our unswaying certainty that they are incontrovertible, until proven wrong.
To whom it may concern: feel free of using the data that I provided in the way that you deem more effective for the Pastafarian cause, citing at your discretion Rev. Cesare Brizio from Italy as the source of information.
P.S.: Right now, I became aware with the same level of certainty that FSM-ism is:
- approximately one third better than most other religions;
- exactly 31,006% better than any other religion.
This second phase of revelation removes any doubt on the constant interference of His noodly appendage with this kind of measurements. As a matter of fact, how could two such measurements bring the same result? We may rightly state that this second assessment confirms exactly the previous one (any Pastafarian would be very suspicious of equal results in successive measurements, synonymous with fake data).
So I encourage you too to share your own revelations: your factual data, if different from mine, will be another proof and may sooner or later prove extremely useful for proselytizing.
Again, R'amen from Italy
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- Conchigliette Convert
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Rev. Cesare Brizio
Poggio Renatico, Italy
Poggio Renatico, Italy
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