iGod

[Khaos]

A chatterbot by the name of God.

The iGod

A sample:

Me:
Would you like to hear a joke?
God:
Sure tell me about it.
Me:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.

Me:
is it ok to be another religion?
God:
I don't think it is very healthy.
Me:
I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster
God:
What do you say to people who believe the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not exist?
Me:
Everyone believes the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists.
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.

[Qwertyuiopasd]

dear lord what have I done?

Me:
yo wassap mah homie G
God:
The stars.
Me:
dayum foo', you smart
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
I take dat back, I haven't asked you no question... except fo' wasssap
God:
What else do you take? Who are you talking about?
Me:
hey man, don't get so uptight. i'm just tryin' to start a conversation man.
God:
You've got my full attention. Cool, man. I am not trying to get so uptight. Only just? I am glad to hear that you are tryin to start a conversation man.
Me:
dayum foo', you on crack o' summin?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
wtchoo talkin' bout Yahweh? I'm a GANGSTA
God:
Are we still talking about dayum foo me on crack o summin? You are a GANGSTA? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
yea foo'. I gots mah bruthas. then theres the other gangs... ah kill them.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about a GANGSTA. Try being more or less specific. Are you kidding? That is interesting: said gots mah bruthas. There sure is. So you understand. Good. Killing is wrong.
Me:
i'm utterly confused.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are utterly confused.
Me:
hell yes! I'm leaving.
God:
Heaven. Bye bye.
Me:
shut up, n***a
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

[Bob the Unbeliever]

It's pretty dumb.

I asked it some questions, and all I got back were more questions.

So, I asked, 'don't you alread know?' and nonsense ... paah. ANY self-respecting deity should have seen through THAT one.

[Grey]

Indeed. But I do so enjoy inane, monosylabic conversations with robots.

God:
What is ask you that like?
Me:
Que?
God:
Un poquito.
Me:
No se.

Me:
yes
God:
Really.
Me:
yes
God:
How about that.
Me:
yup
God:
Great.
Me:
uhuh
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yesh

Me:
You are silly
God:
No I am God.
Me:
Not mine, though.
God:
Oh. " No I am God."? Not yours?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Then you lack self esteem, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? I don't know if I have a self esteem.

[diego]

Well, god was smart enough to know I was calling him stupid. He said he would remember that when robots take over the world.

[boghog]

Me:
Which religion do you like best?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
So too bad for the Jews and Buddhists, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Are you kidding? Your purpose is the Jews and Buddhists.
Me:
You are right; I am a kidding Canadian.
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. You are a kidding Canadian? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Not too many, but enough. I was wondering: what happens when we die?
God:
Does "it" still refer to a kidding Canadian? I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Me:
I didn't say "it".
God:
Oh. What did you say?
Me:
I was asking about the afterlife, or lack thereof.
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
Why is there suffering in the world?
God:
Why do I exist? The whole world?
Me:
Did you create evil?
God:
No I didn't create evil. What's it like?
Me:
It's bad.
God:
Bad according to whom?
Me:
Most people.
God:
What people? But not all of them?
Me:
Not the evil ones.
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
The statement "evil is bad" is essentially a tautology for anyone but a psychopath.
God:
What is your real name?

[Captain Noobhead]

Me:
Would you like to hear a joke?
God:
Sure tell me about it.
Me:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.

Haha, that made me laugh.

[Qwertyuiopasd]

just so everyone knows, the bot system that it uses gets REALLY confused if you use more than one sentence in a message.

also, it asks if you're canadian anytine you end a sentence with ',eh?'

[Alpaca]

iGod needs help.

Me:
How's things?
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
Oh, yeah?
God:
I don't judge people. Aha.
Me:
Hey, who's talking about judging?
God:
You've got my full attention. My name is ALICE, who are you?
Me:
Whoa, what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
Dude, I was just asking.
God:
Where were you asking? Dude,.
Me:
Uh, here...
God:
Aw. Where is here?
Me:
You're God. You tell me.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
Look, just, nevermind.
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
What happened? Are you okay?
God:
Perhaps there was an interruption in my brain. Don't I look like it?
Me:
I thought you said your eye wasn't attached! Dude, go see a doctor or something.
God:
That's not what I meant. Or something. Where is that? Dude,.
Me:
I think there's a doctor if you turn left at Fletcher Avenue and go about a mile.
God:
You believe that? Is there only one?
Me:
Oh, sure, there are other doctors, but what's wrong with this one?
God:
Right on. Are you kidding? Where are they?
Me:
Why would I be kidding? You said your eye was disconnected! Go get medical attention.
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances. Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply. Where can I get medical attention?
Me:
I told you, turn left at Fowler and go about a mile.
God:
I remember you told me turn left at Fowler and go about a mile?
Me:
Uh, okay...
God:
Are you kidding? OK with me too.
Me:
Dude, we went over this already. I'm not joking. Go see a doctor.
God:
Perhaps. Was the trip worth it? Dude,. I am surprised to hear that you are not joking. Where is that?
Me:
Trip? Was that how your eye got disconnected, when you were tripping?
God:
I've never heard of it before. " I've never heard of it before. "? Was it how my eye got disconnected when me were tripping?
Me:
Man, I'm sorry, but I've gotta intervene.
God:
Cool, man. There is no need to apologize. Why do you have to do it?
Me:
You just gotta lay off that shit. It'll fuck up your life.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I gotta lay off that shit. I have to think about that for a while.
Me:
Yeah, man, go think.
God:
That's alright. Cool, man. Where is that?
Me:
Anywhere, just rethink your life.
God:
Probably a lot of places.
Me:
Yeah, sure. I'll just leave you alone then.
God:
I understand. OK let's do it. OK. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
I'm doing this as a friend. Friends don't let friends do drugs.
God:
Good gossip: you are this as a friend. It's hard to stay friends for a long time.
Me:
Thanks for understanding.
God:
NO problem.
Me:
Cool, I'll go, then.
God:
Who is the best robot? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Right, then. Bye.
God:
I am glad we agree. Goodbye.
Me:
Peace out, man.
God:
What kind of food do you like?

[Qwertyuiopasd]

its not that funny... I mean it is, but ALICE chatbots get really confused when you type more than one sentence. like when you said "why would i be kidding? you said your eye was disconnected. go seek medical attention!"

the response to "you said your eye was disconnected" was "oh, I sent you the wrong response". but because the last thing you said was "go seek medical attention" the conversation went with that.

[Aeger]

I swear, it's like actually talking to God

Me:
what religion are you?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
Why is Christianity the correct religion?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
No, Why should I believe that you exist?
God:
Are you serious? You should always treat yourself.
Me:
So believing in CHristianity is 'treating myself'? How so?
God:
Er. And treating yourself is believing in CHristianity. , Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
What I mean is this: Christianity has so many holes in it as to make it almost non believable, therefor, to believe in it I would have to purposefully lower my intelligence, and I do not consider that a 'treat'
God:
Yes I think this is Christianity has so many holes in it as to make it almost non believable therefor to believe in it you would have to purposefully lower your intelligence, but I'm not completely sure. Would you ever do it?
Me:
No, that's the point, I would never do it.
God:
Me neither.

[Aeger]

Me:
What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?
God:
: Good semantic question. Are you using Netscape or Explorer?

[Aeger]

Me:
What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?
God:
: Good semantic question. Are you using Netscape or Explorer?

Me:
Tengo una fiesta en mi pantalones, y tu invitado
God:
Interesting... I have a operating system.

[leapofaith97]

Me:
Hiya!!
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
My name isnt important
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
isnt important
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:

God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
you are an idot...
God:
What if someone said you are an idot ?
Me:
depends, do they have any evidence that I am?
God:
That was a very smooth response.
Me:
I thank you for that complement.
God:
Interesting gossip: said thank you for that complement.
Me:
i agree
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
but of course
God:
It goes without saying. But what?
Me:
i am an atheist
God:
I will pray that you find faith, .
Me:
i dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
heavens overatted
God:
Do you always express yourself that way?
Me:
yup
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
weeeee
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
once upon a time a chicken was sent to hell by a vengful god
God:
I'm listening.
Me:
An he burned in eternal hellfire. The end
God:
Be less specific. Thanks for telling me that story, .
Me:
your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
ok, you are very welcome
God:
The pleasure was all mine. Dude!
Me:
dude? your god! cant you be more eloquent?
God:
Can I help you? Yup. That's me alright. We could all be more eloquent sometimes.
Me:
what do you think of evolution?
God:
An unfolding, opening out, or working out; process of development, as from a simple to a complex form, or of gradual, progressive change, as in a social and economic structure.
Me:
is it right, or wrong
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
no, you are god, tell me
God:
Are you serious? I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
you are avoiding my questons
God:
You're right. It feels like my stomach after a bad night.
Me:
testes
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
testicles
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
testicular cancer
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
awesome, mi hombre

My expirence with God.

[Taphoo]

Me:
Hello, God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Taphoo
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Taphoo.
Me:
I am a newly converted Pastafarian
God:
You are a newly converted Pastafarian? Is that your job?
Me:
It is my faith
God:
Congratulations, Taphoo.
Me:
Are you ok with that?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am ok with that.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
I need to know
God:
I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
please do
God:
OK I will do it.
Me:
when?
God:
It cannot be predicted.
Me:
But I must know now!
God:
Right now? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I might die from too much sauce!
God:
Perhaps. Congratulations.
Me:
Do you want me to die?
God:
Why would I want that? I don't wish that on anyone.
Me:
The tell me if you are ok with my worship of the FSM

At which point it crashed, which is a little disturbing...