Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765
You are bidding for:
One Pitbull Terrier
Name: Charles but answers to Fang or Godzilla
One previous owner...deceased
Loves children...that's why we had to chain im in the bilge!
Good at killin Bilge rats, either the organised or disorganised type.
Any Reasonable offer considered
Buyer to collect only...please bring a large iron cage.
Arrr-Bay (Non Portsmouth Branch)
Moderator: All Things Mods
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black bart
- Resident Weevil
- Posts: 24540
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
- Location: London
Arrr-Bay (Non Portsmouth Branch)
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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The Black Spot
- Stripmeister
- Posts: 2277
- Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:55 pm
- Location: England
Seller: Openboat
Member since: 1695
Feedback: -17
Current Bid: 1 groat
Ye be biddin' on
THE KNUCKLES O'SHUFFLE COMMEMORATIVE ONAN SHEET
You too can celebrate the brief life of this colourful character. This is your chance to own an actual piece of the mainsail that Knuckles cut up to help while away the lonely nights at sea.
Each piece measures a manly 10" square (if you can flatten it out) and is made of high quality marine canvas.
Comes with a 16 page commemorative booklet. Unfortunately all the pages are stuck together.
****BUY WITH CONFIDENCE****
Member since: 1695
Feedback: -17
Current Bid: 1 groat
Ye be biddin' on
THE KNUCKLES O'SHUFFLE COMMEMORATIVE ONAN SHEET
You too can celebrate the brief life of this colourful character. This is your chance to own an actual piece of the mainsail that Knuckles cut up to help while away the lonely nights at sea.
Each piece measures a manly 10" square (if you can flatten it out) and is made of high quality marine canvas.
Comes with a 16 page commemorative booklet. Unfortunately all the pages are stuck together.
****BUY WITH CONFIDENCE****
Seller: Modquest Inc.
Member since: 1702
Feedback: variable
Current Bid: 1 Dubloon
Ye biddin on:
Pirate Board Moderator
Add life to your pirate forum with this colourful character. Watch him steer your pirates around your board in a jiffy. Create new and interesting threads which have with nothing to do with ninjas, Johhny Depp or other pirate internet cliches .
Completey fluent in over 5 forms of Piratespeak, watch your board grow into something viable and happening. Watch him interact with a host of scurvy varmints that will make others laugh their artificial limbs off.
Your moderator is experienced with many forms of pirate troll, including the 'Taichi', feisty ninja types and the spamming newbie.
Watch your list of funny threads grow in an instant. Hours of fun for the nautically inclined.
***EDIT YOUR ADMIN SETTINGS TODAY***
Member since: 1702
Feedback: variable
Current Bid: 1 Dubloon
Ye biddin on:
Pirate Board Moderator
Add life to your pirate forum with this colourful character. Watch him steer your pirates around your board in a jiffy. Create new and interesting threads which have with nothing to do with ninjas, Johhny Depp or other pirate internet cliches .
Completey fluent in over 5 forms of Piratespeak, watch your board grow into something viable and happening. Watch him interact with a host of scurvy varmints that will make others laugh their artificial limbs off.
Your moderator is experienced with many forms of pirate troll, including the 'Taichi', feisty ninja types and the spamming newbie.
Watch your list of funny threads grow in an instant. Hours of fun for the nautically inclined.
***EDIT YOUR ADMIN SETTINGS TODAY***
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black bart
- Resident Weevil
- Posts: 24540
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
- Location: London
feet
Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765
You are bidding for:
A year's supply of Colonel Cutlass's bargain bucket battered chicken feet:
Nutritious and Finger Lickin Good
Choice of sauces: Fish, Fish Head or Mary Rose (We called it that cos we raised it off the Mary Rose wreck)
Any Reasonable offer considered
Will be delivered daily at your home
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765
You are bidding for:
A year's supply of Colonel Cutlass's bargain bucket battered chicken feet:
Nutritious and Finger Lickin Good
Choice of sauces: Fish, Fish Head or Mary Rose (We called it that cos we raised it off the Mary Rose wreck)
Any Reasonable offer considered
Will be delivered daily at your home
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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walktheplank
- Lumache Lieutenant
- Posts: 585
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:34 am
Seller: ItsaCon PLC
Member: Since: 17th Century
Feedback: Rubbish
Current Bid: 10 Groats
ItsaCon PLC suppliers of quality Pirate Merchandise are pleased to offer this extremely rare piece of Pirate memorabilia to our discerning clients.
BLACK BART's BEARD
Well its not the whole beard but a few dead strands. Its authenticity can be established due to the extremely strong smell and the decomposed chunks of Fish Head Stew still contained within it.
Buyer to collect as our courier company cannot be persuaded to deliver it as the smell causes their delivery staff to vomit violently.
Member: Since: 17th Century
Feedback: Rubbish
Current Bid: 10 Groats
ItsaCon PLC suppliers of quality Pirate Merchandise are pleased to offer this extremely rare piece of Pirate memorabilia to our discerning clients.
BLACK BART's BEARD
Well its not the whole beard but a few dead strands. Its authenticity can be established due to the extremely strong smell and the decomposed chunks of Fish Head Stew still contained within it.
Buyer to collect as our courier company cannot be persuaded to deliver it as the smell causes their delivery staff to vomit violently.
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
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Auntie Blackbeard
- Gramigna Grand Admiral
- Posts: 1049
- Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 8:08 pm
- Location: Ponderin' life atop me Crow's Nest
Confessions
Seller: blackauntie
Feedback: 100%
Member: Since toim began
You are bidding for:
The complete confessions of every pirate on the board. All gory details included...what Pirgella did with who...what Black Bart offered the judge on the Scurvy Disciplinary Board trial to stop being transported to OZ...what's livin underneath Walktheplank's wig...how the Black Spot cried when he was forced to eat his favourite cabin boy...where Dave L gets his pink dresses...and much, much more.
Current bid: 5,000,000 Cronans from Black Bart
Feedback: 100%
Member: Since toim began
You are bidding for:
The complete confessions of every pirate on the board. All gory details included...what Pirgella did with who...what Black Bart offered the judge on the Scurvy Disciplinary Board trial to stop being transported to OZ...what's livin underneath Walktheplank's wig...how the Black Spot cried when he was forced to eat his favourite cabin boy...where Dave L gets his pink dresses...and much, much more.
Current bid: 5,000,000 Cronans from Black Bart
Seller: Portsmouth Harbour Authority
Feedback: Inefficient Bureaucrats
Member: Since one of our tenured staff had more time on his hands than Tom Hanks in 'Marooned'
Item: Hackles the Rescue Dog
Notes: This newly created character, once owned by Black Bart, has been in service with the Portsmouth Harbour Authority for over 10 years. Hackles has been responsible for over 200 rescues in Portsmouth Harbour alone, including the great storm of 1702.
In true public servant style, Hackles recently qualified for early retirement, as he was never allowed to take holidays or sick leave. Hackles is now looking for a new home, and it could be yours.
Hackles comes complete with a golden dog collar, rescue ropes, emergency whistles and a strap on semaphore set. Your family will never be safer when you're out on the water. Watch Hackles fend off evil pitbulls from your front lawn in a jiffy!
Other Notes: Hackles also comes with an optional blindfold, which the Harbour Authority have used to keep him from female company for over 10 years. NOTE: Our organisation is not responsible if Hackles gets let off his leash.
**WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND ORDERING THE BLIND FOLD!!**
Starting Bid: Please fill out the 7 accompanying forms. Our petty minded clerk with nothing else to do will contact you with a starting price, when he gets out of his meeting about having more meetings.
Feedback: Inefficient Bureaucrats
Member: Since one of our tenured staff had more time on his hands than Tom Hanks in 'Marooned'
Item: Hackles the Rescue Dog
Notes: This newly created character, once owned by Black Bart, has been in service with the Portsmouth Harbour Authority for over 10 years. Hackles has been responsible for over 200 rescues in Portsmouth Harbour alone, including the great storm of 1702.
In true public servant style, Hackles recently qualified for early retirement, as he was never allowed to take holidays or sick leave. Hackles is now looking for a new home, and it could be yours.
Hackles comes complete with a golden dog collar, rescue ropes, emergency whistles and a strap on semaphore set. Your family will never be safer when you're out on the water. Watch Hackles fend off evil pitbulls from your front lawn in a jiffy!
Other Notes: Hackles also comes with an optional blindfold, which the Harbour Authority have used to keep him from female company for over 10 years. NOTE: Our organisation is not responsible if Hackles gets let off his leash.
**WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND ORDERING THE BLIND FOLD!!**
Starting Bid: Please fill out the 7 accompanying forms. Our petty minded clerk with nothing else to do will contact you with a starting price, when he gets out of his meeting about having more meetings.
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black bart
- Resident Weevil
- Posts: 24540
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
- Location: London
Godzilla
ChowMein wrote:I be reporting on fishstewpot , dat useliss mutt be bitten off da rong leggs .
Wots I ta do wiff all deez chewed up timber ?
You mean you let Godzilla...Sorry, Charlie, out of the large iron cage...you've only got yourself to blame mate!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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walktheplank
- Lumache Lieutenant
- Posts: 585
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:34 am
Seller: Taichi Enterprises Ltd
Member: Ages
Feedback: Rubbish
Current Bid: 1 Groat
Taichi Enterprises Ltd are please to offer this rare book detailing the history of Piracy during the 17th century.
VERY SERIOUS BOOK ON PIRACY
Before you purchase you may wish to read the following book reviews
This is a very serious book on Piracy and there is nothing within it that will make you laugh, you want some jokes and funny antidotes don't read this.
Portsmouth Guuarrrdian
This book contains some very deep and meaningful discussions about the impact Piracy had in the 17th Century if you like that sort of thing, we don't.
Porstmouth Literacy Circle
There is no question that the author knows his subject but it is written with all the panache of an obituary in The Times, hard going even for an aficionado.
The Pirate Times
Total bollocks
Dave L
Member: Ages
Feedback: Rubbish
Current Bid: 1 Groat
Taichi Enterprises Ltd are please to offer this rare book detailing the history of Piracy during the 17th century.
VERY SERIOUS BOOK ON PIRACY
Before you purchase you may wish to read the following book reviews
This is a very serious book on Piracy and there is nothing within it that will make you laugh, you want some jokes and funny antidotes don't read this.
Portsmouth Guuarrrdian
This book contains some very deep and meaningful discussions about the impact Piracy had in the 17th Century if you like that sort of thing, we don't.
Porstmouth Literacy Circle
There is no question that the author knows his subject but it is written with all the panache of an obituary in The Times, hard going even for an aficionado.
The Pirate Times
Total bollocks
Dave L
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
-
black bart
- Resident Weevil
- Posts: 24540
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
- Location: London
Tossed
Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765
You are bidding for:
"Tossed on the Seven Seas" The complete and unabridged memoires of 'Knuckles O'Shuffle.'
Condition: Stained, with many of the pages torn out.
Current Bid: 1 Cronan
Hurry up before the rest of the pages go!
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765
You are bidding for:
"Tossed on the Seven Seas" The complete and unabridged memoires of 'Knuckles O'Shuffle.'
Condition: Stained, with many of the pages torn out.
Current Bid: 1 Cronan
Hurry up before the rest of the pages go!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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ChowMein
- Brewmeister
- Posts: 1839
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 8:38 am
- Location: Southern part of the Great White North
Seller : Capn. Ed Leany
Member since : 1674
Feedback You'd better say 100% !
Ye be biddin on : Wun Pitbull Terror ! (plus free iron cage ) !
Be the prowd owner of a fun loving doggie .
Loves chullun an elders , speshully wen day be raw .
Dont be fooled by bad press , be informed for yerself wen ye gits "Godziila" ta kep yore yung cabin boys safe from Cap. Cronan or Knuckles O'Shuffle .
Costs nuttin ta feed , ole Godzilla will kep yore ship manned by only the stongist , smartist , fastist , an hellteist .
NO RESERVE
Member since : 1674
Feedback You'd better say 100% !
Ye be biddin on : Wun Pitbull Terror ! (plus free iron cage ) !
Be the prowd owner of a fun loving doggie .
Loves chullun an elders , speshully wen day be raw .
Dont be fooled by bad press , be informed for yerself wen ye gits "Godziila" ta kep yore yung cabin boys safe from Cap. Cronan or Knuckles O'Shuffle .
Costs nuttin ta feed , ole Godzilla will kep yore ship manned by only the stongist , smartist , fastist , an hellteist .
NO RESERVE
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black bart
- Resident Weevil
- Posts: 24540
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
- Location: London
Toys
ChowMein wrote:Seller : Capn. Ed Leany
Member since : 1674
Feedback You'd better say 100% !
Ye be biddin on : Wun Pitbull Terror ! (plus free iron cage ) !
Be the prowd owner of a fun loving doggie .
Loves chullun an elders , speshully wen day be raw .
Dont be fooled by bad press , be informed for yerself wen ye gits "Godziila" ta kep yore yung cabin boys safe from Cap. Cronan or Knuckles O'Shuffle .
Costs nuttin ta feed , ole Godzilla will kep yore ship manned by only the stongist , smartist , fastist , an hellteist .
NO RESERVE
ye forgot ta mention:
Only 450 previous owners!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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ChowMein
- Brewmeister
- Posts: 1839
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 8:38 am
- Location: Southern part of the Great White North
Seller : Popeye
Member since: 1765
Feedback : : Huh ?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGagagagaga..Youse be bidden onna a big jug oves OLIVES OIL ! .AHHHgagagaga....Dis olives oil be may nought be vurgin butz it tastes okay siderin ware it cum frum ....AHHHH Gagagaga.....
Openin bid be 100 pounz o' spinach ...AHHHHHHgagagaga......
Member since: 1765
Feedback : : Huh ?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGagagagaga..Youse be bidden onna a big jug oves OLIVES OIL ! .AHHHgagagaga....Dis olives oil be may nought be vurgin butz it tastes okay siderin ware it cum frum ....AHHHH Gagagaga.....
Openin bid be 100 pounz o' spinach ...AHHHHHHgagagaga......
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