The Chuck Norris Game!

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black bart
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Swear

Postby black bart » Tue Jul 10, 2007 8:18 am

Why hasn't Chuck Norris ever been in a Quentin Tarantino movie if he's so hard? I bet he can't even swear properly!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Rainswept
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Postby Rainswept » Tue Jul 10, 2007 8:23 am

Because everyone in Tarantino films ends up wounded if not dead, and they can't find a way to wound Chuck Norris. (duh)
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.

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black bart
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Uma

Postby black bart » Tue Jul 10, 2007 8:36 am

Uma Thurman would slice him up before he had a chance to say "What the F****** F***!"
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

Sarcophogi
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Postby Sarcophogi » Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:10 pm

Not sure if this has been said yet but....

Chuck Norris is the reason that Waldo is hiding.

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Duke
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Postby Duke » Sun Jul 15, 2007 11:19 pm

Chuck Norris is so ugly that his mother used to feed him with a slingshot. His parents hated him, his bath toys were a toaster and a radio. When he was kidnapped, the criminals sent his family a piece of his finger. His father said he wanted more proof.

Chuck Norris used to work in a pet store and people kept asking how big he would get and what they'd have to feed him.

Chuck Norris's mother got morning sickness after he was born.

My psychiatrist told Chuck Norris he was crazy and he said he want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

When Chuck Norris was a kid, his parents would move a lot. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris would usually find them.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen

Dan(da haole guy)
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) » Mon Jul 16, 2007 1:26 am

Aloha..when Chuck Norris visits England, he eats human blood pudding and the braised kidneys on toast are from the 1st guy who looked @
Chuck Norris .00001 second too long..if you attempt to abbreviate Chuck Norris' name or just use Chuck Norris' first name instead of Chuck Norris' full name, Chuck Norris (disguised as lightning) will flash from the sky and turn you into Chuck Norris' favorite breakfast cereal:"Other People's Hearts with Blueberry Clusters"..
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..

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Rainswept
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Postby Rainswept » Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:47 am

Pissing off Chuck Norris earns you an instant Darwin Award.
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.

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Zankou 2.0
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Postby Zankou 2.0 » Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:52 am

Chuck Norris isn't cool anymore. We found out he's a fundy.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein

Dan(da haole guy)
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) » Fri Aug 24, 2007 8:05 pm

Chuck Norris is now annoyed that Jesus gets to sit @ God's right Hand & all Chuck Norris gets is universal loathing and God's rear-facing jump-seat Hand..
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..

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Beardyoldblaggard
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Postby Beardyoldblaggard » Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:52 am

Chuck Norris is a twat

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black bart
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Last respects

Postby black bart » Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:48 am

Let us all gather round now and pay our LAST RESPECTS to 'Beardyoldgit'. He was a giant amongst dwarves and was never afraid to speak his mind. He struggled hard to amuse us in his own special way but in the end he died for nothing and in a quite pointless way.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

Dan(da haole guy)
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:02 pm

Aloha..note to Beardyoldgit: sacrificing a goat, seven spotless doves and a small, well-behaved heifer to Chuck Norris may buy you some time before the Day of Doom arrives, but it's not a lock by any means..Chuck Norris is basically the OT God... on a bad hair day with gout and an erupting wisdom tooth..so smiting is pretty much de rigeur for Chuck Norris..nice knowin' ya, brah.. :cry:
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..

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Beardyoldblaggard
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Postby Beardyoldblaggard » Fri Sep 14, 2007 12:34 pm

you may have noticed i have been absent for a few days. Scurrilous rumours that I am in hiding are unfounded, indeed to show just how brave I am, today i am taking a flight with comedy "airline" flybe. May the FSM protect and preserve me. Should i survive this cunning stunt I will be back ducking and diving next week.

:fsm_ninja: BoG

Dan(da haole guy)
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) » Sat Sep 15, 2007 5:40 pm

as our souls leak like sand through the unforgiving clenched fists of Chuck Norris, so leaks away any meaningful reason for life to continue, once the dreaded "t-word" has been applied to Chuck Norris....BoG, cunning stunts & really attractive women just delay the time of Doom *ominous bass drum beats & flapping of giant leathery batwings*..still, i applaud your hubricity..(hey! be nice..) :fsm_yarr:
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..

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Beardyoldblaggard
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Postby Beardyoldblaggard » Sun Sep 16, 2007 9:33 am

ok Dan, I'll be nice. Congratulations on post number 666 ! Must be significant.


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