Attacked by a christian.

[Capt'n WeeMan]

So my I'm sitting in chemistry class with nothing to do. We were discussing Angilina Jolie being an atheist, and that led to Tom Cruise and Scientology.

My freind I was talking to thought this was a belief in Evoution, so I explained to him the basics of what it was, and ended with a comment about how it was completley nonsence, and wasnt even backed up by scientific evidence like my own personal religion.


this led to questions on what i believed, and as I explained, the whole classroom became intrigued, and everyone was asking me questions.

I hadnt been prepared for this, seeing as how I just got the FSM bible today, and this happened yesterday.

So i'm explaining my best (Read all the info i could on wikipedia and here, so i knew a lot of stuff already) and there was one girl, who had before mentioned hating anyone who even watched south park just because it made fun of god (although that cant be entirely true cause we chat on msn occasionally, her knowing i watch it.)

Anyhow she starts getting pissed when i said that i deidnt believe in her christian god.

now i live in the bible belt, so i'm careful about this stuff, making sure not to ever disrespect anothers religion without right cause.

she is getting mad and saying stuff, but the class supported me and kept saying things like, how its ok for me to believe whatever I want.


but she gets angry, and says, not for me, I'm gonna kick his ass.


but i tried to ignore her, seeing as potential-pastafarians were still asking me questions.


finally out of nowhere she looks at me, and with a very unfriendly voice shouts " Your fucking retarded, and anyone who believes in the flying spaghetti monster is fucking retarded!"


well, needless to say, this offended me, to insult my god for no reason, to belittle my beliefs and me as a person.

I was mad.


I hate being disrespected above all other things.

so I turn to her. I look her dead in the eyes and do the traditional comeback for things like that, I reversed it on her.

So I say in a firm, but not shouting voice " Your retarded, and anyone who believes in Jesus is retarded."

she blew.

she pushes her table away, jumps up, and comes at me, angry, needles to say i was kinda worried i was about to be attacked, I really didnt want to get hurt over something so stupid.

she fucking runs right up to me, but thank FSM the teacher grabbed her jsut then, and instructed her to sit down, and end all religious discussion.


I explained that, If you respect my beliefs and my god, I'll respect your beliefs and your god.


the class supported me again. students saying things like before, about how they believe in FSM, but I should still have the right to believe what I want.

I converted a girl. I gave her a pamplet and when i told her i hadnt really had the chance to let a lot of ppl know of FSM's noodley appendages, she said when she got done everyone would know.


so all in all, a good day.


all though, i now dread a lot of my year book sigs mentioning the topic of FSM. :P

[Clifford]

Mmm a very good job done there. Nice to see there's sympathetic people within the bible belt - something I thought impossible and it looks like that gal needed a thorough conciousness raising. It's good how you got the backing of the class. I would have responded to her "retarded" statement by attacking with FSM logic which probably would have confused her but it looks like a victory for the forces of the FSM. Well done.

[Red Headed Brainiac]

Good job, though I suggest taking the high road next time - name calling isn't going to convert anyone. Better to overwhelm with logic and remain calm and cool - then the one throwing the snit fit looks like a complete idiot to everyone watching.

I'm in the Bible belt, too - actually, there are quite a few people in the BB that are atheists, agnostics, pagans, & people who can separate beliefs from science - but generally we don't get heard much amonst the radical fundamentalists who are very loud. There are more of us than one would expect.

[Moral Minority]

Excellent work, my friend. Every new convert brings joy to his Noodly Heart. Every new RAmen makes him squirt sauce with joy. Every new arrr makes him decrease global temperatures. Even one convert is a great achievement.

That girl who tried to attack you should know better than to insult other people's beliefs. I've been getting a lot of abuse about my beliefs myself, though as long as I convert people to Pastafarianism, I am content, for I make his Noodly Majesty happy.

FSM bless you and the poor misguided girl.

[Capt'n WeeMan]

Thanks guys. Bless be his noodley goodness.

[lordpunkmonk]

that is awsome and I think you should be honored by all pastafarians

P.S. : south park is hillarius and she was just overeacting

[Hippie Pirate]

This reminds me of my science class, all we ever talk about in there anymore is the FSM. I once brought Him up one day when someone asked what I was reading(it was the Gospel of the FSM). This led to questions and like in your case the whole class got involved, now even the teacher asks me about it now and then.

Although I get into debates with people in the class, it has never escalated to that level of intensity before. I would recommend just keeping a calm attitude and not name calling or pointing fingers, as the others here have suggested.

Once someone did say, "So, and invisible mass of noodles created everything huh?"

I replied, "Yes, that is correct."

"You are stupid for believing that."

Knowing he was a Christian I simply gave this response, "I see...I suppose it is easier to believe an invisible man created everything."

At this he got a perplexed look and sat down. There is hope for him yet.

[rocker_pirate_chick]

Super awesome job!!!!!
This one guy in my science class was saying 'im going hunting to nite' and that got the classes attention (i was still working) and they asking what hes hunting ect. and he says 'oh, im just gonna kill the fsm' And so the whole class looks at me (cuz they know bout me) and some ppl laugh and others look worried cuz they know i can be a super good arguer. and so i stand up, taking my note book with me. I say, ' Hey, turn around, hes right behind you.' so he turns around and theres nothing there, and while hes look the other way, i open my notebook to the back where i have a super big, ultra detailed pic of fsm. I hold this up very close to where his face will be when he turns around.
'I don't see-CRAP!!!!'
haha.

[KamMoore]

Good Job!

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Yarr Capn. WeeMan ,

Unfortunate that you had to respond in kind , a better retort would have been to quote Jesus ( allow me to paraphrase ) , "when one causes you offense , tis better to turn your other cheek " . So you see my good Captain...you were not attacked by a Christian , but rather a delusional hate filled young women . I hope you will , in some time in your life , have the pleasure and honour to meet a Christian , I've met a few in my life and have been enriched beyond measure , Cheers Laddie !

[ThePastaliban]

Yes, we should issue a noodly fatwa, known as a pastwa, upon her.
I call upon all wise pirate-pastimams to issue such a decree on this horrid infidel of whom you speak.

Always in his name,
Pastimam, Nood Leiman

(Pastaliban tip of the week: For a friday treat, instead of noodles five times a day, substitute for straw rum five times a day! Pirates are holy to you know!)

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Yes, we should issue a noodly fatwa, known as a pastwa, upon her.
I call upon all wise pirate-pastimams to issue such a decree on this horrid infidel of whom you speak.

Always in his name,
Pastimam, Nood Leiman

(Pastaliban tip of the week: For a friday treat, instead of noodles five times a day, substitute for straw rum five times a day! Pirates are holy to you know!)

ARRRRRGH ! TO ARMS MATEYS ! BRING LOTSA HOT SAUCE AND STICKY NOODLES ! AVAST !

[darkcitymedia]

Good job, though I suggest taking the high road next time - name calling isn't going to convert anyone. Better to overwhelm with logic and remain calm and cool - then the one throwing the snit fit looks like a complete idiot to everyone watching.

I'm in the Bible belt, too - actually, there are quite a few people in the BB that are atheists, agnostics, pagans, & people who can separate beliefs from science - but generally we don't get heard much amonst the radical fundamentalists who are very loud. There are more of us than one would expect.

In your post you state that, "name calling isn't going to convert anyone." Yet isn't the concept of the Flying Spaghetti Monster itself a form of "name calling"?

Obviously it's not directed towards any one person, but it's clearly an insinuated barb at the crux deity of Christianity and religious belief is subscribed through the person experience of an individual, the belief itself becomes a characteristic that is a major aspect in defining an individual. Therefore, the concept for the Flying Spaghetti Monster represents a series of of epithetical handles towards those who practice Christianity.

As a Christian, I'm fully aware of the tactics employed by other Christians during a clash of personal beliefs, but more often than not the opposing believer use the same tactics as Christian.

A main focus of an Atheists argument against Christianity and Christians themselves is their lack of understanding on matters of science which counter biblical literalism, yet 9 times out of 10, the Atheist themselves have an equal lack of understanding of Christianity as the Christian does over evolutionary science. Thus ignorance is being battled through the use of ignorance and this is supported by the majority of Atheists who focus their arguments towards the existence of God.

Yes, Christians do believe in God, but the concept of God is a small fraction of Christian teachings and definitely not the focus, but rather friends, family and community our the main focus of Christianity.

Now clearly you're able to differentiate denominational teachings when you stated "people who can seperate beliefs and science." Yet, the vast majority of Atheists either can't or won't differentiate. Not all Christians teach biblical literalism, our focus are the virtues that are taught through the parables, songs, and poems instead of the tales presented.

The parables of the scriptures were a means of passing along news of the day, social commentary, rally cries of protest, uplifting messages for the persecuted, and advice on moral and hygienic living during a time where free speech wasn't always an option. Along with these encrypted messages, they were authored in the forms of parables and songs to make the virtues themselves easier to remember during a time absent of public education.

Since the start of Christianity, there have always been those who taught biblical literalism and those who focused on the virtues, but the ultra focus on literalism didn't come to the forefront of the Christian community, until the completion of the King James Version by the Church of England which was authorized by King James VI and I in order to turn questioning of church and state not only a crime publishable by death at the time, but a crime in the afterlife punishable by eternal damnation. The reason King James ordered this is because the House of Tudors reign over the England was plagued by the protestant/roman catholic conflicts and assassination attempts against each successor.

The only reason the KJV is still utilized by Fundamentalist Christians and some Evangelicals is because they realized that it was a great tool for structuring an unquestioning congregation.

We're talking 400 years of extreme thought conditioning, generation after generation being taught these literalisms. So by now, the concept of biblical literalism could be written into the very chromosomes passed on during conception in the same sense that brown hairs or blue eyes are passed.

My point is this, for anyone to think that we as a society our going to break people of these narrow minded and instinctive sheepishness by trivializing the central focus of their beliefs and who they are is absolutely absurd and to employ such tactics is in itself just as narrow minded and sheepish as these Fundamental Christian followers themselves.

There are good, open minded people on both sides of the field, but there are just as many on both sides who seem to be making their argument to validate themselves, rather than trying to change our society for the better.

If an Atheist plans to use scriptural teachings against a Fundamental Christian, then they need to first make sure that they have a complete grasp of the teaching themselves, because these Christians have been taught that those who make the kind of snide, insidious, and hateful remarks are demons, evil men, going to hell, or whatever... So anytime an alternative believer employ such spite, you're validating everything they've been taught in the first place.

[darkcitymedia]

P.S. Fuck Intelligent Design. Yay Molecular/Cellular Evolution

[darkcitymedia]

P.S. Fuck Intelligent Design. Yay Molecular/Cellular Evolution

Post Scriptum of my P.S. Christians like myself aren't a 1% 5% or a 10% minority. Close to 40% of Christian of Christians teach or attend a Christian that teaches Restorationism.

The reason we're rarely seen on TV is due to ratings. What do you think would draw in more ratings. A man with a BA in Theology with emphasis on Middle Eastern and Modern Monotheism who speaks both Hebrew and Koine Greek so that he may read the scriptures as originally authored, who goes on television to explain the truth behind the scriptures... or....

That douche bag from Growing Pains Kirk Cameron wielding an Atheist Slaying banana?