concerning sex

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

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aquaphase
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Postby aquaphase » Tue Aug 23, 2005 10:44 am

I believe his Noodleness believes that everyone and everything should feel the embrace of his Noodly Appendages regardless of sexual orientation or physical orientation. That and the flimsy moral standards pretty much leave any pleasure-giving activity a wide bearth for interpretation.
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Father Kraus de Lagunitas
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Postby Father Kraus de Lagunitas » Tue Aug 23, 2005 11:26 am

He doesn't condemn it, but he does mock it.
May FSM touch you with his noodley appendage.
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slingblade
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Postby slingblade » Tue Aug 23, 2005 12:16 pm

The proper sexual position for FSMites and Pastafarians is obviously "on top of spaghetti, all covered in cheese."

No gender has been specified by this holy dictum, therefore, it matters not whether male or female or other is on top, so long as they are covered in cheese, preferably parmesan, although allowances have been made for romano and provolone.

Cheddar is right out. Likewise swiss.

So sayeth the Oracle.
RAmen.
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Sylvie369
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Postby Sylvie369 » Tue Aug 23, 2005 12:17 pm

slingblade wrote:Cheddar is right out. Likewise swiss.

So sayeth the Oracle.
RAmen.


Swiss is "right out"?? Really? The most sexy of all cheeses? :?:
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slingblade
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Postby slingblade » Tue Aug 23, 2005 12:23 pm

(The Oracle considers the holes in swiss cheese, and the long, slender noodlyness of the appendages, and decides.....

Eh, what the hell.)

So sayeth the Oracle!
RAmen.
Touched by His Noodly Appendage
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Beware Al Dente's Inferno!
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Cardinal Queequeg
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Postby Cardinal Queequeg » Tue Aug 23, 2005 12:24 pm

Greetings and Salutations!

An excellent question:

Does Flying Spaghetti Monsterism condemn heterosexual intercourse between married, consenting adults in the missionary position?

Why not?



I can't find in my heart to believe that FSM would look down his noodly nose at this, as, after all, he is all about love.

Personally, I think his preferred erotic situation would more resemble the joyous foc'sle of a pirate galley that has just made port after a season of successful high-seas pillaging.

Do any other board members have thoughts?

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Sylvie369
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Postby Sylvie369 » Tue Aug 23, 2005 12:24 pm

slingblade wrote:(The Oracle considers the holes in swiss cheese, and the long, slender noodlyness of the appendages, and decides.....

Eh, what the hell.)

So sayeth the Oracle!
RAmen.


RAmen! :P
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Brady
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Postby Brady » Wed Aug 24, 2005 3:30 am

I could not imagine FSM, who rewards his followers with a stripper factory, as being against sex in any form.
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amenabletopasta
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Postby amenabletopasta » Wed Aug 24, 2005 3:36 am

What be His views on Pastarbation?
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Touched by a Noodle
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concerning sex

Postby Touched by a Noodle » Wed Aug 24, 2005 3:51 am

What be His views on Pastarbation?


I can only guess, but I think his Noodle would be standing on guard for thee.
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amenabletopasta
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Re: concerning sex

Postby amenabletopasta » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:37 am

Touched by a Noodle wrote:
What be His views on Pastarbation?


I can only guess, but I think his Noodle would be standing on guard for thee.


To be 'onest, Oi reckons that all pleasurable forms of canoodling are good in His eyes.

Perraps canoodling that be involving noodley appendages be slightly more sacred. If this be the case, is FSM the first religion to actively encourage man-on-man action (as there'd be more noodley appendages involved)?
Where we're from, the birds sing a pretty song, and there's always noodles in the air :fsm:
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Sylvie369
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Re: concerning sex

Postby Sylvie369 » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:40 am

amenabletopasta wrote:If this be the case, is FSM the first religion to actively encourage man-on-man action (as there'd be more noodley appendages involved)?


No, Catholicism beat it to the punch.
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amenabletopasta
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Postby amenabletopasta » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:42 am

Auntie Dee Dee wrote:All should take care that their personal predelictions NOT be given the weight of sanctioned Statements of His Noodly Deliciousness, that they are not edited or deleted, capisce?? (Oracle, schmoracle, got it?)


Me last post don't be expressin' a preference (Oi'm one for wenches) so 'opefully Oi'll escape the editin'/deletin' noodle...
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amenabletopasta
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Re: concerning sex

Postby amenabletopasta » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:43 am

Sylvie369 wrote:
amenabletopasta wrote:If this be the case, is FSM the first religion to actively encourage man-on-man action (as there'd be more noodley appendages involved)?


No, Catholicism beat it to the punch.


Yo ho ho... :lol:
Where we're from, the birds sing a pretty song, and there's always noodles in the air :fsm:
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T
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Re: concerning sex

Postby T » Thu Aug 25, 2005 12:39 am

Sylvie369 wrote:
amenabletopasta wrote:If this be the case, is FSM the first religion to actively encourage man-on-man action (as there'd be more noodley appendages involved)?


No, Catholicism beat it to the punch.


And, Catholicism got beaten by Ancient Greece.
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