And Lo, the Flying Spaghetti Monster came upon me one night, and spoke to me so. He sayith unto me, "Look, and behold. I reveal unto you the direction of yonder country." And I did see the country America, and it was good. Then, it turned into a black pit of despair. I asked, "What does this mean? How will it happen?" And the Flying Spaghetti Monster answered, saying unto me, "I shall show you a Revelation, and you shall spread it's vision unto all the peoples that you know." And this is the 1st Revelation revealed unto me.
The aliens landed. The peoples of Earth could do nothing to stop them. They were far to powerful. Within days, the peoples of the world were enslaved. Only a few bands of rebels were still free. Of these bands of rebels, one was soon found out and captured. I was one of these rebels. Sent to one the aliens households to work, I soon realized that the aliens were not truly evil. At this household, I met many of my friends, including Jesse. She was like my sister. I marveled, wondering why my friends stayed and willingly served these extraterristial creatures. Jesse explained unto me. "The aliens give us drugs. They take away are imagination, and leave us with no reason to escape. They treat us well, as there own children." Again, I marvled unto this. I tried to convince them to escape, before the drug took complete effect. Among them, only two came with me. One was a friend named Christian, and another named Adam. We escaped the household, and made our way unto the world, searching for rebels. Before long, Adam decided to rejoin the aliens. He prefered the easyness of slavery to the hard work of freedom. Christian asked if he to, could go back. I explained unto him, "The peoples who work for the aliens are as slaves. Yes, there life is easy, every need attended to. But what happens in the end? The aliens will suck the World dry. Our generation will live in peace, and so might our children. But, what of our grandchildren? What world will they inherit? A dry desert, or perhaps a freezing tundra." Christian agreed. For many years he and I fought the aliens, but to no avail. To many peoples wanted to stay with the aliens. In the end, all was as I had predicted.
That was the vision the Flying Spaghetti Monster had revealed unto me. I asked, "What does this mean?" And He explained. "The rights of people are not being taken, no. They are being given up freely. The American people wish not to work, but be cared for by Government. Soon, there shall not be truly wonderous country, but a barren, bankrupt piece of land. One or two people cannot stop it, no. You must gather your forces, and fight the government, and return it to the state that the forefathers wished it to be." And I asked, "How long do we have?" And He answered, "It may already be to late."
Please, my brothers and sisters in Pastafarianism, I implore you, do not let our freedoms be taken away, but fight, in the name of freedom.
Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.
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