Epic RolePlaying Battle Game

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

Now, seriously, please limit yourself to plausible things

...

*re-incarnates*

...

*grabs RRR and flies toward the sun*

Ummm...yeah...

*dissapears from the thread, never to return, as he has already won, twice, only "failing" due to addendums to the rules*

[Zankou 2.0]

Now, seriously, please limit yourself to plausible things

...

*re-incarnates*

...

*grabs RRR and flies toward the sun*

Ummm...yeah...

*dissapears from the thread, never to return, as he has already won, twice, only "failing" due to addendums to the rules*

Oh, whatever. Rules change to reflect those who extort loopholes.


Also, re-incarnation is more plausible than magical bombs. The Zelda games have already established how the Triforces work.


Whatever. Someone can delete this thread, it's a FAIL'd prospect.

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

*supersedes his previous disappearance*

I thought it was kinda fun.

*fills water balloon with acid and lobs it at Zankou.

[Zankou 2.0]

That's more like it.


*dodges, sustains foot injuries. Limps over to the counter, pulls out a vial of arsenic, and attempts to pour it down RRR's throat*

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

*stands on tiptoes so that Zankou can't reach high enough and laughs as the arsenic dribbles down his shirt*

*takes advantage of Zankou's physical closeness to jab at his throat with a poisoned umbrella, then runs away, very fast*

[Zankou 2.0]

*stands on tiptoes so that Zankou can't reach high enough and laughs as the arsenic dribbles down his shirt*

*takes advantage of Zankou's physical closeness to jab at his throat with a poisoned umbrella, then runs away, very fast*

How tall are you?

*falls to the ground, quickly attaching a small nuclear detonation device to the Reverend's pantleg*

*chokes for a bit, but discovers that the poison in the umbrella was iocane powder, and, of course, Zankou has built up an immunity to iocane powder. Recovers quickly*


*detonates the device*

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

6'5"

*laughs as the nuclear detonation device detonates*

It would have been far more intelligent to attach a small nuclear bomb instead of a small device that detonates a nuclear bomb.

*Limps on his singed leg and throws bricks (accurately) at Zankou*

[Zankou 2.0]

*stops the bricks with a lighting bolt. Misses one, narowly avoids getting hit in the face*

*begins sucking on a (literal) candy cane*

*vanishes*

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

Ummm...what happened to realism?

*waits for a semi-realistic response*

[Zankou 2.0]

I didn't neccessarily use magic, but we've already established that magic is acceptable. It's just the really out there stuff, like placing multiple charms on nuclear weaponry, that derails the idea.

Anway

*reappears and (accurately) thrusts the now sharpened candy cane toward Rowan's eye*

I figured you'd appreciate the candy cane.

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

Look...either magic is acceptable, or it isn't.

I think the rule you actually mean is: no one can post harm to someone that isn't in some way preventable, unless they do it to themselves. And magic is a cop-out, anyway. You could have quickly ducked behind a nearby wall.

Assuming that is the case...

*bites sharpened end off the candy cane and munches happily*

*knees Zankou in the groin*

[Zankou 2.0]

And magic is a cop-out, anyway. You could have quickly ducked behind a nearby wall.

Like i said, I didn't neccessarily use magic. I just vanished.


Ok then:

Magic is perfectly acceptable, but word piling in order to eliminate loopholes is not. Things must be escapable in some form, even if it's very obscure.

However, in order to perform magic, one must first establish a relatively plausible reason as to why they can do magic. This can be as simple as being high on mushrooms, or as complex as the Triforce.

Now, to it:

*doubles over*

*vomits acid onto Rowan's feet*

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

I still say that magic is a cop-out. And lest you forget, I drank a potion of ultimate permanent invincibility.

So, either one of two things happen...

*I do nothing and laugh as only my shoes are eaten away*

OR

*I quickly remove my acid covered shoes and lob them at Zankou...which doesn't matter much, since it would only be stomach acid.*


and I either...


*whack Zankou with my cane*

OR

*run at him as fast as I can, head-butting him into the lake of fire behind him*

[Zankou 2.0]

Hmmm...

Well, give that I am a demonic Satan worshipping atheist,

*the lake of fire only adds to Zankou's power*

...

*Zankou uses his newly gained power(not powers, power) to rip the Reverend's soul from his body and places it in an identical clone body, thus removing the potion's effect.

To be fair, the relative proximity to Zankou's soul transfers a small portion of the awesome power of the Triforce to the Reverend, granting him limited control of the universe around him (One could actually argue that this isn't magic, but merely natural power, given that the Triforce is a relic of the FSM. I won't, though.)


While the Reverend is recovering from the shock of transferring bodies, Zankou lobs lightning bolt at him*


That was relatively plausible, methinks. A bit out there, though, but not much more than a convenient lake of fire and an invincibility potion.

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

*sigh*

*Being a Pirate, and not a wannabe Ninja-Pirate or Pirate-Ninja, the FSM blesses me with the return of my soul, and curses Zankou for not only being a Ninja-Pirate, but for being a demonic Satan worshiping atheist, and for coming up with an oxymoron that proves his lack of English skills, despite his self proclaimed status as a grammar nazi, and because being an atheist of any sort implies lack of belief in the FSM*

*the lightning bolt fizzles out just before reaching me, due to the combined curse/blessing*

*uses the power of the Triforce and the FSM's blessing to wrest control of the Triforce from Zankou*