I can top that....
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- Rainswept
- Caliph of Capitalist Fishing Pole Hobo Apologists
- Posts: 8860
- Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:11 pm
- Location: State of Disbelief
Re: I can top that....
My penis once reached the moon. (It was the first time I watched Bound)
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
Re: I can top that....
My penis is what dark matter is made out of.
“We are often hesitant to look at other faiths or to examine our own critically because we feel that, in doing so, we are being disloyal to our own deeply felt convictions. ... And yet our beliefs are not worth very much if they cannot stand up to any scrutiny.” -- James Livingston.
Re: I can top that....
I can see all your penises and I know which one of you is closest to telling the truth - 

~~~~~~/\~~~~~~
The heart has its reason, of which reason knows nothing. -Pascal - thanks, Z
"The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."
Cpt Jack Sparrow
"I'm used to going out at 3 in the morning and doing something stupid."
Alan Moore
Silk 'n mind
The heart has its reason, of which reason knows nothing. -Pascal - thanks, Z
"The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."
Cpt Jack Sparrow
"I'm used to going out at 3 in the morning and doing something stupid."
Alan Moore
Silk 'n mind
- Apostateabe
- Cannelloni Cannoneer
- Posts: 124
- Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:23 pm
Re: I can top that....
One time, I was sitting in my living room, and it was a little too hot. I could not be bothered with all the effort required to turn down the thermostat. So I commanded a pack of my very well-trained dogs to carry me outside on their backs. Outside, it was a little too cold. So, with even more manly brusque in my voice than usual, I commanded the Sun to crank up the temperature a little. And that is how we got global warming.
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- Conchigliette Convert
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 7:45 pm
Re: I can top that....
I am so sexy that any man looking at me instantantly gets the biggest, hardest boner of his life. The C.I.A. makes me wear a disguise in the interest of national security because I have a 'disruptive influence ' on male policy makers.
- Detective TurtleHolmes
- Clouseau's Protege
- Posts: 7990
- Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:34 am
- Location: Francemouth
Re: I can top that....
I'm so handsome I have to be stored fifty kilometres underground, because being within fifty kilometres of any female sends them into immediate orgasm.
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.
- black bart
- Resident Weevil
- Posts: 24540
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
- Location: London
Re: I can top that....
I am so gorgeous and virile that Angelina Joli rings me constantly offering oral sex. I keep telling her about the effect I had on the dinosaurs but it just seems to encourage her.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
- Apostateabe
- Cannelloni Cannoneer
- Posts: 124
- Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:23 pm
Re: I can top that....
That's nothing. Brad Pitt keeps calling me for the same reason. There was a disagreement between Angelina and Brad about who gets to harass who, so they drew straws. Angelina got the losing straw.
- Pirate Johnson
- Agnolini Admiral
- Posts: 839
- Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:58 am
Re: I can top that....
I can wear a yellow shirt and still contain my BMs with my tight @ssh0l3 while on a tredmill hanging upside down above flaming acid spitting kittens who hate the color yellow
In brightest day
In darkest night
No ninjas shall escape my sight
Let those who warrrship evil Unicorn's might
beware my power
Green Cannon's fire
About the colors I post in see: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/rgb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCMzjJjuxQI&playnext=10&playnext_from=QL
YES. I AM PirateJohnson on Ebay.
R.I.P.George Carlin (my hero)
In darkest night
No ninjas shall escape my sight
Let those who warrrship evil Unicorn's might
beware my power
Green Cannon's fire
About the colors I post in see: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/rgb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCMzjJjuxQI&playnext=10&playnext_from=QL
YES. I AM PirateJohnson on Ebay.
R.I.P.George Carlin (my hero)
- Pirate Johnson
- Agnolini Admiral
- Posts: 839
- Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:58 am
Re: I can top that....
Wow. I know I'm supose to tell my own amazing abalities, but here's to you: 1 handed typing.
In brightest day
In darkest night
No ninjas shall escape my sight
Let those who warrrship evil Unicorn's might
beware my power
Green Cannon's fire
About the colors I post in see: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/rgb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCMzjJjuxQI&playnext=10&playnext_from=QL
YES. I AM PirateJohnson on Ebay.
R.I.P.George Carlin (my hero)
In darkest night
No ninjas shall escape my sight
Let those who warrrship evil Unicorn's might
beware my power
Green Cannon's fire
About the colors I post in see: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/rgb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCMzjJjuxQI&playnext=10&playnext_from=QL
YES. I AM PirateJohnson on Ebay.
R.I.P.George Carlin (my hero)
- Detective TurtleHolmes
- Clouseau's Protege
- Posts: 7990
- Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:34 am
- Location: Francemouth
Re: I can top that....
My Spore character, Trogdor, can overwhelm your puny big-eyed orange fool with a single swipe of his BIG BURLY ARM!

That's right. Trogdor the Burninator.

That's right. Trogdor the Burninator.
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.
- PantyGnawer
- Spam Bob Grill Pants
- Posts: 2444
- Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:17 pm
- Location: Ask yer Mom.
Re: I can top that....
My amazing powers of preconception allowed me to realize that spore would suck horribly so I never even got involved.
- Detective TurtleHolmes
- Clouseau's Protege
- Posts: 7990
- Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:34 am
- Location: Francemouth
Re: I can top that....
Your amazing powers are flawed, as Spore kicks ass.
My incredible powers of preconception told me that Spore would rock. I top yours easily.
Oh, and I'm the big bad guy behind Fringe.
My incredible powers of preconception told me that Spore would rock. I top yours easily.
Oh, and I'm the big bad guy behind Fringe.
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.
- Rainswept
- Caliph of Capitalist Fishing Pole Hobo Apologists
- Posts: 8860
- Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:11 pm
- Location: State of Disbelief
Re: I can top that....
farfalla wrote:I can see all your penises and I know which one of you is closest to telling the truth -
Of course you can see mnine, it's that big!
Besides... I wanted you too...

I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
- black bart
- Resident Weevil
- Posts: 24540
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
- Location: London
Re: I can top that....
I'm SO sorry about the Dinosaurs Farfalla...and the massive crater in the Gulf of Mexico...I'll try and make up for all the destruction by plugging the hole in the Ozone Layer with my dick.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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