Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
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Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
Ahoy dudes. The wise and starchy Second Council of Olive Garden is searching for holy scripture to be added to the Loose Canon. The Council is only accepting stuff the fits the whole FSM thing, so no hate-mongering, supporting things that obviously contradict our teachings, or general douchey stuff. Also, I'm a lazy man, so number your verses.
What I'm going for here is a listing of Pastafarian values, teachings, and ideas written in the most straightforward and explicit way possible, so as not to cause a holy war a couple thousand years from now. For example: Don't kill anyone, even if they disagree with you.
What I'm going for here is a listing of Pastafarian values, teachings, and ideas written in the most straightforward and explicit way possible, so as not to cause a holy war a couple thousand years from now. For example: Don't kill anyone, even if they disagree with you.
Check out an official Pastafarian holy book, the Loose Canon: http://loose-canon.fsm-consortium.com/the-loose-canon/
"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
- Ubi Dubium
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
1. Do not condemn another's choice of pasta, for all varieties of noodles are worthy.
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out
"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
2. Thall shalt associate the following descriptors:
Midget
Midgit
Little dudes
Mini-me
Vern Troyer look alikes
Tiny Folk
Munchkins...
...as HIS holy chosen ones.
Praise them, for they are blessed.
Midget
Midgit
Little dudes
Mini-me
Vern Troyer look alikes
Tiny Folk
Munchkins...
...as HIS holy chosen ones.
Praise them, for they are blessed.
Loosely Canonising and keeping it free for all Pastafarians
http://www.loose-canon.info/
http://www.loose-canon.info/
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
Sorry, I had just copied and pasted part of my message in the first post without rereading it. Since you guys aren't writing anything real long in this thread, you don't have to number your verses.
Check out an official Pastafarian holy book, the Loose Canon: http://loose-canon.fsm-consortium.com/the-loose-canon/
"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
- Ubi Dubium
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
3. Thou shalt number thy verses, because it's fun and might annoy the god-bots.
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out
"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
4. All who claim to be Pastafarian are True Pastafarians(TM). There is no True Pastafarian(TM) Aptitute Test (TPAT).
5. No Pastafarian shall judge who is a better, truer, or finer Pastafarian.
5. No Pastafarian shall judge who is a better, truer, or finer Pastafarian.
Davros, Attorney and Pieces of Law
Keeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.com
We make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal
Keeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.com
We make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
lol, very niceUbi Dubium wrote:3. Thou shalt number thy verses, because it's fun and might annoy the god-bots.
I guess I'll make my example official then.
6. Don't kill anyone, even if they disagree with you.
Check out an official Pastafarian holy book, the Loose Canon: http://loose-canon.fsm-consortium.com/the-loose-canon/
"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
- Tigger_the_Wing
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
7. Do not criticise another's interpretation of the phrase 'Pirate Garb' for their interpretation might be guided by a noodly appendage. It is enough that they maketh the effort.
(Edited - Sorry, forgot the number! )
(Edited - Sorry, forgot the number! )
- StJason
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
There is some overlap with a few of these. How about some compiliation?
4. (v.2): Judge not thy crewmate's pirate garb, nor his pesto, nor his devotion to the Spaghetti Monster. As thou are lacking in cooking skill or ability to cobble together thy own buckle shoes, so to do thy crewmates seek True Pastafarianism in different manners. Plus, who died and made thou Flying Spaghetti Monster, anyway?
4. (v.2): Judge not thy crewmate's pirate garb, nor his pesto, nor his devotion to the Spaghetti Monster. As thou are lacking in cooking skill or ability to cobble together thy own buckle shoes, so to do thy crewmates seek True Pastafarianism in different manners. Plus, who died and made thou Flying Spaghetti Monster, anyway?
---
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Darwin's Purge, verse 39.
You know the thing that I hate about these .sigblocks? Never have a good idea what to put in them.
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
So this could actually be in the Revised Gospel? Sweet.
9(?): Thou shalt accept all varieties of liquour as Good. Rum, whilst being thy Holy Pirate's beverage of choice, is not a necessity-eth.
10(?): If thy be a midgit, do not judge thyself higher than thy Taller. Holier-than-thou talk dost not get thou anywhereth.
9(?): Thou shalt accept all varieties of liquour as Good. Rum, whilst being thy Holy Pirate's beverage of choice, is not a necessity-eth.
10(?): If thy be a midgit, do not judge thyself higher than thy Taller. Holier-than-thou talk dost not get thou anywhereth.
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Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
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Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
11-ish. Even the tall may have an inner midgit crying out to be recognised.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks.
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"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
12. Thou shalt always follow the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pesto be upon Him) with the words "pesto be upon Him" or some other such honorary. This goes for the great Prophet Bobby (pesto be upon Him) too.
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out
"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
12a. Unless you're pressed for time or don't feel like it. The FSM isn't that stuck up, usually.
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
Roy Hunter wrote:11-ish. Even the tall may have an inner midgit crying out to be recognised.
What about people of medium height...can we have an inner midget?...or must we settle for an MGB Midget?
13. If thou art a midget upon a mountain, taketh thy time to climb for thy legs are small.
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Re: Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions
This is a checkpoint for the compilation purposes of the Second Council of Olive Garden. Please ignore and go about your business.
Check out an official Pastafarian holy book, the Loose Canon: http://loose-canon.fsm-consortium.com/the-loose-canon/
"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
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