Pastafarian Heaven/Hell [for females]

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Pastafarian Heaven/Hell [for females]

Postby Nyienth » Sun May 31, 2009 8:28 pm

Hello fellow Pastafarians,

I have noticed that heaven for Pastafarians contains strippers and beer.
This seems geared more towards men than women. What if beer actually
means any alcoholic beverage and the strippers are male or female.

Hell contains stale beer and strippers with VD. This is really only hell for
men. If there were male strippers [for women] they should have ED.

May you be touched by his noodly appendage. RAmen.

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Re: Pastafarian Heaven/Hell [for females]

Postby PantyGnawer » Sun May 31, 2009 9:03 pm

Nyienth wrote: What if beer actually
means any alcoholic beverage and the strippers are male or female.

Thats exactly how it is. You choose the beverage. you choose the stripper.

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Re: Pastafarian Heaven/Hell [for females]

Postby Qwertyuiopasd » Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:48 pm

in fact, even broader. It's more of a beverage volcano, or liquid volcano. It spouts whatever liquid you want, intended to be used for beverages, so you effectively have an endless supply of your beverage(s) of choice. The FSM just drinks Beer, so that's what he calls it.

As for the strippers, they can be of any gender, shape, size, color, what have you. Some also don't strip; again, it's really whatever you want.

And the FSM doesn't really send people to Hell. They just get confused because of the volcano, and think it's worse than it really is. :P
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Re: Pastafarian Heaven/Hell [for females]

Postby StJason » Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:32 am

Please. The ladies like the nekkid guys just as much as the other way around. According to a quick google search, Harliquin Romance sold somewhere around 1.37 billion US dollars. And who is buying all these books?

So, in Pastafarian Heaven, the strippers for the ladies are rugged cowboy-pirate types who are still sensitive enough (yet not girly), cook, clean and give foot massages, and fit into every steriotype about female libido ever made. This IS Heaven, after all.

As for Beer being male-oriented, my wife and millions of other non-US ladies wish to disagree with you...
Darwin's Purge, verse 39.

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Re: Pastafarian Heaven/Hell [for females]

Postby super-duper natural » Mon Jul 06, 2009 3:09 pm

It is entirely appropriate for Pastafarian Heaven to be not to everyone's taste because that's the way it is, so tough. I fully expected to learn that the FSM Heaven would be male-centric and then get some footnotes added for uppity ladies later on once the ladies were taught to read and allowed to own property. No, I'd say the original vision is probably just about par for the course of how these things tend to work themselves out. Us ladies will make do, as usual, with serving the libations and washing down the stripper's poles and whatnot and we'll like it. :worship:

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Re: Pastafarian Heaven/Hell [for females]

Postby Ubi Dubium » Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:15 pm

Oh pish-tosh. The FSM (pesto be upon Him) will provide for us ladies, thankyouverymuch. The Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts are quite clear on the equality of the sexes:
FSM wrote:Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey = Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.

So the gents get their beer and pole dancers, and we get fruity drinks with umbrellas, served by Errol Flynn and Dread Pirate Roberts look-alikes. UDK#1 requests Orlando Bloom as well.
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