PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

[DaveL]

Yarrrr...

As oi' be an enterprisin' young pirate, i feel there is a large market for lonely sailors who are missin' female company. Oi've decided with the help of a few of you scurvy dogs that oi will start a Men-pirates magazine named Play-bilge.

What issues should we talk about for the modern bachelor pirate? Oi wuz thinkin oi might write an article on the latest gadgets for the modern day pirate to spend 'is dubloons on.

Oi was wondering if yer had any ideas or shots (keep 'em tasteful) you'd loike to contribute to me magazine.

Here's me Miss November for the first magazine - her name be Karri the Taven Wench. She be a roight looker, and will sell copies by the wooden bucket load.



EDIT: Made sticky by AmenableToPasta (oo-er missus!).

[DaveL]

YArrrr

Oi'll get some oideas flowin'

This idea's is taken from a local mens Mag 'Ralph'. How should we reword this one pirate style (I promise oi don't read it - it's for creative content only - Yarrr!!!)
http://ralph.ninemsn.com.au/

Are you thinning on top? If you don't think the chicks will fancy you as a chrome dome, get yourself a free consultation with Ashley and Martin.

How about:

Are you walking properly? Don't think the wenches will fancy an able bodied pirate. Get yourself a free consultation with Hoppalong and Co. finest maker of prosthetic limbs.

Yarrr...

[DaveL]

Amazin what Google Image search can reveal. How about a Play Bilge Bunny?



Yarrrr...now oi'm on a roll!

[beagle]

Arr, I be thinking you should be running a dating service as part of your magazine. You know the sort of thing:

"Sincere,GSOH, bald, one-eyed, one-armed, one-legged, no teeth, vicious career criminal (young 78 ) seeks voluptuous tavern wench 17-20 for meaningful relationship."

Given the number of hammocks around here I reckon you should do articles on swinging as well.

Yarr,

P.S. you do realize you'll have to make up readers' letters from lonely pirate wives don't you? That'll put you off your lunch.

[LibraLabRat]

hMMM.

Articlers? How bout speed boats vs wind powered, use of traditional cannon versus new stuff like small machine guns.....

And as far as Miss November...thass a whole lotta woman.

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

That be a foine idea Matey. How about we have a section with 'Boys Toys'? We can get the lads to send in their favourite galleon pictures, best cannon, musket or cutlass exploits.

Somethin loike this:



'Dear Play-bilge 'ere is a photo of me parkin me 'suped-up' galleon in me suburban garage.'

Koind Regards Capn Revhead

[LibraLabRat]

I am more of a gun guy, meself.

I do own a watercraft:

A 19 foot bass boat that is currently dry docked at my parents house just outside Baton Rouge.

However, fiberglass and styrofoam and astroturf are not conducive to piratical endeavors.

[beagle]

Dear Play-bilge 'ere is a photo of me parkin me 'suped-up' galleon in me suburban garage.

Arrr, I can't believe you haven't chromed yer crow's nest matey. No wonder you're sitting forlornly on the prow with no babes on show.

However, fiberglass and styrofoam and astroturf are not conducive to piratical endeavors.

Excuse me nautical ignorance matey, but where does astroturf come into the scheme of things. You carry yer own footbal pitch around with yer?

[LibraLabRat]

Dear Play-bilge 'ere is a photo of me parkin me 'suped-up' galleon in me suburban garage.

Arrr, I can't believe you haven't chromed yer crow's nest matey. No wonder you're sitting forlornly on the prow with no babes on show.

However, fiberglass and styrofoam and astroturf are not conducive to piratical endeavors.

Excuse me nautical ignorance matey, but where does astroturf come into the scheme of things. You carry yer own footbal pitch around with yer?

I have astroturf carpetting in me bassin' wagon. It holds up better in the wet than plain old carpet.

[beagle]

Arr, good thinking matey.

[DaveL]

How about a few hot babes draped over a 17th century fortress? Somethin loike this:



Dear Play-bilge after a hard days sentry duty in 40 degree heat, oi be hallucinatin that me co-watch be a beautiful wench. Am oi goin mad?

[LibraLabRat]

How about a few hot babes draped over a 17th century fortress? Somethin loike this:



Dear Play-bilge after a hard days sentry duty in 40 degree heat, oi be hallucinatin that me co-watch be a beautiful wench. Am oi goin mad?

Lets not toddle down the path that leads to the stereotype of long voyage sailors, tract lighting, and a passion for pastels.....

[DaveL]

How about a few hot babes draped over a 17th century fortress? Somethin loike this:



Dear Play-bilge after a hard days sentry duty in 40 degree heat, oi be hallucinatin that me co-watch be a beautiful wench. Am oi goin mad?

Lets not toddle down the path that leads to the stereotype of long voyage sailors, tract lighting, and a passion for pastels.....

Yarrrr...

Those Pastel Cannons would put Martha Stewart to shame matey.

Perhaps we need a home decoratin' section for the renovation minded pirate.

[LibraLabRat]

"Queer Eye for the Pirate Guy?"

[DaveL]

"Queer Eye for the Pirate Guy?"

YArrrrr...

Excellent oidea matey. We could get Carson and the Lads in for a guest stint on 'zhussshhing' up mangey ole sea dogs, and turnin' 'em all metrosexual.

Look what the lads did to Jack Sparrow (sorry Auntie, the lads got a bit carried away). Noice use of the facial cleanser and rinse there Jacky!!

http://www.black-beads.net/pb/jacquilline.html

YArrrrr..