The Unofficial Cheese Lovers' Thread

[Ham Nox]

^I always knew you were cheesy.

That was just terrible Twisty. You should really be PUNished for that one.



I'm terrible with my Cheeses. Mozzarella, cheddar, and baby swiss are the extent my experiences with real cheese. I eat Plastic Cheese straight out of the wrapper, and the Heretic's Green Can of Powder by the spoonful

[ET, the Extra Terrestrial]

I'm terrible with my Cheeses. Mozzarella, cheddar, and baby swiss are the extent my experiences with real cheese. I eat Plastic Cheese straight out of the wrapper, and the Heretic's Green Can of Powder by the spoonful

Ugh. You have so much to learn, grasshopper. Those cheese-like pseudofoods are only acceptable for consumption by people who are either drunk or stoned or both. Go buy a little smoked Gouda, some nice fresh Italian wheat bread, and some hot/sweet honey mustard. Too bad you can't get a nice bottle of wine to go with it.

[Roland Deschain]

I agree ET. You need to start out with something simple and work up from there. Stronger cheddar is always a good place to start, or the smoked gouda would also be an excellent choice. Maybe even some real parmesan on the holy meal. If you dislike the cheese, don't let it put you off. You could also try it with different things, as ET says. So much cheese, so little time...

I was trying to think of a pun about ham and cheese sandwiches, but my tired brain fails me.

[bacon]

. Mine are named Queso Blanco (the male melee fighter, named after a delicious salty Mexican cheese that doesn't melt, literally translates as "white cheese" of course)

Well that just answered a question of mine that I've had for awhile. I bought some Queso Blanco at a local store several weeks ago. Had no idea what type of cheese it was, just looked good and, well, I like cheese. Anyway, I made a toasted sandwich with it and it didn't melt! All I could think was that it must have been something either wrong in the way I was trying to toast my sandwich or the cheese was some kind of cheapo processed stuff that wouldn't melt if you put a flame thrower to it.

[TwistedSister]

Now some insightful words from Twisty concerning cheese.




















I like cheese that melts.

[Ubi Dubium]

I'm a supertaster, and so that makes the cheese department something of a minefield for me. I can't do sharp, can't do stinky, can't do moldy. They are all just way too strong. Oh, and can't do cloying textures, so cream cheese is right out too. BUT, something not too sticky with some wonderful subtle flavors in it is terrific for me.

So bring on the smoked Gouda, on cracked wheat crackers, please.

[PKMKII]

This is a recipe for an absolutely awesome cheese sauce

Ingredients:
1 quart heavy cream
2 tablespoons chopped shallots
2 tablespoons garlic, pressed or chopped
10 black peppercorns
1 bay leaf
2 cups aged gouda, grated
1 cup parmesan, grated

In a heavy-bottomed saucepan, reduce cream with shallots, garlic, peppercorns, and bay leaf until it thickly coats the back of a spoon. Remove from heat and whisk in cheeses until fully melted. Adjust seasoning with salt. Strain sauce through fine-mesh strainer and keep warm in a bain-marie.

[ET, the Extra Terrestrial]

This is a recipe for an absolutely awesome cheese sauce

Ingredients:
1 quart heavy cream
2 tablespoons chopped shallots
2 tablespoons garlic, pressed or chopped
10 black peppercorns
1 bay leaf
2 cups aged gouda, grated
1 cup parmesan, grated

In a heavy-bottomed saucepan, reduce cream with shallots, garlic, peppercorns, and bay leaf until it thickly coats the back of a spoon. Remove from heat and whisk in cheeses until fully melted. Adjust seasoning with salt. Strain sauce through fine-mesh strainer and keep warm in a bain-marie.

Mongo no can do. Only thing Mongo know how to do in pan is cook something. Reduce is thing copy machine do. And Mongo not know anybody name Marie. How come she banned?

[PKMKII]

In a heavy-bottomed saucepan, heat on medium high the cream with shallots, garlic, peppercorns, and bay leaf until it thickly coats the back of a spoon. Remove from heat and whisk in cheeses until fully melted. Adjust seasoning with salt. Strain sauce through fine-mesh strainer and keep warm in another saucepan.

Edited for the culturally impaired.

[Roy Hunter]

1 cup parmesan, grated

Adjust seasoning with salt.

I am going to want to adjust the seasoning by taking about a teaspoon of salt out of it. Any ideas?

I'm with you on the pecorino, though - especially the peppered version!

[ET, the Extra Terrestrial]

I am going to want to adjust the seasoning by taking about a teaspoon of salt out of it. Any ideas?

Serve it with something that has a negative salt content?

I bet it would be outrageous if you switched out the parmesan for grated asiago.

Of course, that would only compound your salt problem, Roy...

[daftbeaker]

I bought some Queso Blanco at a local store several weeks ago. Had no idea what type of cheese it was, just looked good and, well, I like cheese. Anyway, I made a toasted sandwich with it and it didn't melt! All I could think was that it must have been something either wrong in the way I was trying to toast my sandwich or the cheese was some kind of cheapo processed stuff that wouldn't melt if you put a flame thrower to it.

*Warning: Dull polymer chemistry*
It may have been that the cheese was heat-treated previously. If it was then the protein chains may have cross-linked and become fixed so it wouldn't melt again.
Essentially, the protein chains would have been like spaghetti strands, long and flobbly. When you melt cheese they can flow over each other well, leading to the runny gunk that other people seem to like. When that cools and solidifies the protein chains can link to other chains, forming something like a big tangle of string. If you heat that the chains are attached to each other and can't move, hence it doesn't melt.
The same principle is used in vulcanising rubber. Natural rubber is runny, adding sulfur (FSM, I hate that spelling, stupid IUPAC) forms cross-links between the rubber chains and you get the useful stuff that doesn't melt in the sun.
*End of dull polymer chemistry*

[bacon]

*Warning: Dull polymer chemistry*
It may have been that the cheese was heat-treated previously. If it was then the protein chains may have cross-linked and become fixed so it wouldn't melt again.
Essentially, the protein chains would have been like spaghetti strands, long and flobbly. When you melt cheese they can flow over each other well, leading to the runny gunk that other people seem to like. When that cools and solidifies the protein chains can link to other chains, forming something like a big tangle of string. If you heat that the chains are attached to each other and can't move, hence it doesn't melt.
The same principle is used in vulcanising rubber. Natural rubber is runny, adding sulfur (FSM, I hate that spelling, stupid IUPAC) forms cross-links between the rubber chains and you get the useful stuff that doesn't melt in the sun.
*End of dull polymer chemistry*

I think I understand . . .

[offtopic] By saying "hate that spelling" do you mean sulfur instead of sulphur?[/offtopic]

[ET, the Extra Terrestrial]

flobbly

Cool new word.

[daftbeaker]

[offtopic] By saying "hate that spelling" do you mean sulfur instead of sulphur?[/offtopic]

Yep, IUPAC recommendation is to spell sulphur as sulfur. By the by, their preferred spelling of Element 13 is aluminium.