Venganzine Pyrate Cookbook

[Roland Deschain]

Oi is not tryin' ter poison ye. Thee taste o' cabin boy be noice when ye use thee chillis ter kill thee hbacteriaaarrrggghhh an' thee pungent cheese ter mask thee taste.

[black bart]

Bring back Chow Mein!!!

Are ye mad woman? Ye've been at thee Tortugan cocktails again aven't ye?

[pieces o'nine]

Nonetheless, oi misses 'im.

[black bart]

Nonetheless, oi misses 'im.

He be back...neptune elp us!!!

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Hokay, I gunna tell yer how ter mayk boyle deggs.

Yer gets a chikn
Yer puts it inner pot wiff sum wotter
yer puts thee pot inner fire
Yer wates fer thee chikn ter lay thee boyleded eggses

Hi try it bee-four, but it dunt work too good thet tyme.

[black bart]

Aaarrrgh I be a good friend o Barbara Rossa thee famed Tunisian Pirate an he told me of a recipe wot will feed yer hentire croo in one sittin:

STUFFED CAMEL A LA TURKE

Ingredients:

1 Medium Camel
4 Lambs
20 chickens (Rosted)
150 Eggs (Boiled)
40 Kilos of Tomatoes
Salt and Seasonings

Mixing Instructions:

1. Stuff eggs into tomatoes
2. Stuff tomatoes into chickens
3. Stuff chickens into lambs
4. Stuff lambs into camel
5. Roast until tender

ps. Prepare ta run after yer croo has finished eatin, thar may be a bit o wind.

[Pirate Johnson]

Hav uh pyrit rhip thee ars oif o' sumun elsses mael fowl & thar ye 'aves et: Pirated CockTails! Adern thim apun yer scurviest ov 'ats an feed et ta yer derist ov mates fer lafs.

[anthrobabe]

Re-postin by poplar demands en me simephore boxxe

Saucy Gert's Deluxe Rat on a Stick

Catch rat, kill and clean it, or buy from butcher already cleaned.
Thread rat onto skewer made from DaveL's blasted all up to pieces cannon (oi tole him not to be tryin to fire is bawls wif dat rot gut likor for insted o gunphowder whot's made by that bugger over to loose nelly's)--blew da whole darn fink sky hi.

Plase skewered rat over nice fire and turn until crispy on outside and medium rare on inside-- bast freqwently with Peerless Petes sphesul sauce (also good for puttin on gangreen lags).

Serve on stick-- they makes a nice toof pik later

[black bart]

^Ooohhh aaargh...that be mouf waterin an no mistake.

Me shyppe's cook has proposed these scary cakes fer Halloween:



Might be a bit too scary for me croo.

[Roland Deschain]

Stewed Turtle Legs

Ingredients
Two Turtle Legs (per person)
Some vegy tables (quantity to suit)
1 pint Fresh Sea Cucumber Stock (per person)
Starfish Oil
'Erbs to suit

Instructions
Ye need to take a fryin' pan an' put some o' the Starfish Oil in ter it. Wait until the oil be nice an' 'ot, then put the turtle legs in ter it. Turn thee legs every foive minutes until they be gordon brown on all sides. I mean golden brown. When they is done, ye need to put them in ter thee stock an' vegy tables, which should be done at thee same toime. If ye find it too difficult, ye need one o' the ship's 'ands to do the stock for ye.

Ye take thee stock and thee 'erbs, which ye should chop with yer cutlass, and warm it up over ye fire until it be simmerin'. Whoile this be doin', ye take yer cutlass and the vegy tables and cut them up in ter small pieces (That be the vegy tables, not yer cutlass. A poirate without a cutlass be a poor one indeed). When thee stock be simmerin' noicely, ye will be takin' yer vegy tables an' puttin' them in thee stock.

Once thee legs is done, ye put them in thee stew an' let it simmer fer 2 hours with a lid on thee pan. Once this is up, it be ready ter serve.

Enjoy, me hearties.

[Pirate Johnson]

Easilly corrupted childhood. Not Really

[ChowMein]

Ahoy Cappin John Sins ,

Oi hath received yer semifore (albiet 5 munfs later) an' oi thot ioid retoin ta let ye knowest that oi sneak in 'ere at leest weekly although i may not nessisarily post to offin .
Oi think oi shuld tho since me spellin' is atroshuss lately , out ove praktice oi gess . argh

[ChowMein]

Ye neede to , " take care " , ove a nef yoo ye finks to yerseff ?

Well mateys , feed 'em Peetzer Funguy .

Take ye wun larrge scoop ove flower an weevils .
Add ye a wee salt an weevils .
Mix in a noice hanful ove blubber an' weevils .

Neede thee mass with vigour an' flatten thee resultant glob .

Laddel on ye toemaydo blud an' spices onto thee doughy disk .
Add thee all thee sliced puffballs, fungi , mould , slime , an unidentified mushrooms onto the slab .
Place in a stone oven fer about 15 minits .

Nef yoo should be arriving as soon as thee scent hits his nose , garrunteed to put neff out fer time big count or ye may put Bart in thee stocks for an indeterminant amount ove tyme .

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

puddy tat

rrrrrrrrrrrrr

i fink ye tryn ta maky me barf!
i noe gunna et thet fing
but i wanet hit unca fart wiffet
fank ye yer welkum
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[ChowMein]

A roight tea thin ... yer nefyoo dint tayk thee bait ...uh...oi meens he taint ungree .

Nose we Kant be litten thee wee bloightarr wayst aweigh soze try poysunin ...err ... feedinum :

Choclit Coverd Buzzarrd Guts

Foist , set owt wot be leff of poor ole Billy on ye poop deck.
Sekkind , Wate fer ye buzzarrd to set doan fur supparr .
Furd , KETCH THUT BUZZARD !
Forf, klaw owt thee gutz an koat wiff choclit . ( pluk thee karkase an marry Nate whiff rum ( fur ye oan supper )).

Fiff , set thut bobby nashun owt fur nefyoo.Oi heer thee guts of a buzzard will kill cally raw .Juss magine wot et gonna do ta nef !