Corrupt a wish.

[Uther]

Granted... but all those extra bits you soldered on did no good..... The Damned thing STILL doesn't work

Beside..... you have now cornered the Scottish market in regards Resin-cored solder... but your soldering iron is Kaput.

I wish Australia would hurry up and bowl out a few Poms... Especially Pietersen.......

(STOP PRESS..... Got 'im!!!) Pietersen OUT!!! (Only made 227)

WOW! Got another one!!!!!!! Bell!! This Wish Thread really works!!!!

Bugger..... decision challenged.... Bell is NOT out!

[black bart]

England bowled out Australia for 304 to win the second Test in Adelaide in emphatic fashion by an innings and 71 runs and take a 1-0 lead in the Ashes.

I wish this wish thread worked...

[Uther]

GRANTED!!!
But as far as the cricket goes I am getting in first and....

I wish Australia WIN two of the the next 3 Tests, the last one also Oz win or a draw ( )

[Ubi Dubius]

Granted, although I have no idea what you mean, Uther. But whatever it is, it is now true.

I wish I had a formal offer and a start date. At least they haven't come to arrest me, I guess that means that the criminal background check is going well.

[bacon]

Granted, you have formal offer with a start date of yesterday. As you did not show up for your first day, you have been fired.

I wish that my landlord would keep the heat on in our apartment rather than in increments of 4 hours. It was freezing when I woke up this morning. Also, some hot water would have been nice when I'm showering, but I don't want to push my luck.

[TwistedSister]

Your landlord controls your heat?
That sucks.

[nekk]

Your landlord keeps the heat on! Unfortunately, that heat is 150 degrees Fahrenheit :o

I wish that I was a REAL pirate.

[Ubi Dubius]

Granted, you've already got the scurvy. Can I have your teeth?

I wish I had a full head of hair.

[nekk]

Ye have it, but tha police found said decapitated head in the trunk o' yer auto-mobile!

I wish I could instantly learn any language I wanted to.

[Ubi Dubius]

Granted. All you have to do is love somebody who speaks the language you want to learn. Then, that person dies and leaves you the ability to speak the language. I think this was on the Twilight Zone.

I wish my paychecks started at the beginning of my pay period, rather than at the end.

[bacon]

Granted. But as they start at the beginning of the pay period all of your checks are for $0 less taxes of course.

I wish that I had a washer and dryer.

[Ubi Dubius]

Granted, but he's ugly.

I wish for Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men TM(and Women) (and Children).

[Ham Nox]

Granted. A species of super-advanced aliens has the "compassion" and "goodwill" to "end humanity's pointless suffering". There's currently no one on Earth to fight with. So nice and peaceful now :)

I wish that these boys at school would stop flirting incessantly with me. DO NOT WANT >:|

[Arkaeon]

Granted! No boys will flirt with you any more, because there are no more boys. You will have to resort to loving girls/women, as if you didn't already. As far as I can tell, almost everyone already does, so almost nothing is lost. (Weirdly enough, "Flowers on the Wall" by the Statler Brothers just came up on iTunes) I hope to see you at 3am in a diner somewhere.

I wish all of humanity would come to understand reality as I do.

[Ubi Dubius]

Granted. Your expertise is no longer needed. Buh-bye!

I wish to be unique, just like everybody else.