
Hell?
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- Conchigliette Convert
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Hell?
As we all know when one's soul leaves the body they go to Heaven where an endless Beer Volcano erupts and stripper factories as far as the eye can see. But what of those who have not followed FSM truly and have disobeyed thy noodly master. Sooooooo? Is there a devil or form of hell? Hmmmm? I pledge my soul to thee 

The Gospel According to Ken
"And thus his noodly appendage reached from the heavens and from it sprung the mountain, trees, and a midgit. And let it be known that spelling of midgit his how his lord and master created it. And for a time it was good..."
"And thus his noodly appendage reached from the heavens and from it sprung the mountain, trees, and a midgit. And let it be known that spelling of midgit his how his lord and master created it. And for a time it was good..."
- Antipaladin
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- The Meromorph
- Sweet Moderation
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It's quite simple, you get to go to the same heaven with the beer volcano and the stripper factory. You just start out farther away from the aforementioned delights, and you have to walk a little to get to them, and work up a nice thirst....
Isn't the FSM nice...?

Isn't the FSM nice...?
Laughing in the rain.
Dancing in the desert sand,
Somersaults through life.
Dancing in the desert sand,
Somersaults through life.
- miketheguitarist
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- fusiontortellini
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I don't think we know what FSM does with people who insist on being punished, though. I'm sure there are a lot of people who would be extremely disappointed not to burn forever. I don't understand them, but there's a lot I don't understand about people. 

Who really might actually be back this time . . .
May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
- Dr. Otis Lansa
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fusiontortellini wrote:I don't think we know what FSM does with people who insist on being punished, though. I'm sure there are a lot of people who would be extremely disappointed not to burn forever. I don't understand them, but there's a lot I don't understand about people.
If someone really needs punishment, THEY get to wash dishes in the Bottomless Dish Pit.. it's hot and dark and your undies are always soaked in dishwater. I'll make sure to burn the hell out of a few pans a night just to keep them scrubbing extra hard. We'll still send 'em down a pint at the end of the shift though.
- Qwertyuiopasd
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as for what Mermo was saying, some people are so far away they have to ride a freakin' BUS to get there.
of course, for the REALLY conservative and anti-FSM people, who say "you mock god!" and "fsm cannot exist! because god does!", heh, well THEY get heaven. just like us (with slightly less beer).
can't you just imagine the looks on their face when they realize they were wrong THE ENTIRE TIME? I'll be sure to have my camera ready when those guys die!
of course, for the REALLY conservative and anti-FSM people, who say "you mock god!" and "fsm cannot exist! because god does!", heh, well THEY get heaven. just like us (with slightly less beer).
can't you just imagine the looks on their face when they realize they were wrong THE ENTIRE TIME? I'll be sure to have my camera ready when those guys die!
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple'
Any statistical increase in the usage of the

- Dr. Otis Lansa
- Mystic of Meatball
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- Dr. Otis Lansa
- Mystic of Meatball
- Posts: 2426
- Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2005 12:30 pm
- Location: Canuckistan
The stripper factory creates what they desire, so their strippers will probably have clothes, until they loosen up a bit. Remember, much of their morality and perception of sin is based on trying to follow the rules for getting into Heaven... once they're there, it'll be a little easier for them to adopt the Flimsy Moral Standards.
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- Ziti Zealot
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After consuming much Guinness Stout one night, I had a vison revealed to me by his Noodlyness....
FSM Hell is EXACTLY like FSM Heaven --- except the beer volcano only issues forth stale keg beer, and the stripper factory only issues out a likeness of Janet Reno....
It's too horrible to contemplate..........
...
Biker
FSM Hell is EXACTLY like FSM Heaven --- except the beer volcano only issues forth stale keg beer, and the stripper factory only issues out a likeness of Janet Reno....
It's too horrible to contemplate..........
...
Biker
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