Automated Creationism

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Cardinal Fang
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Automated Creationism

Postby Cardinal Fang » Wed Sep 28, 2011 6:53 pm

This may have been discussed at some point but if it has I can't find a record in the archives, so I'm going to ask now.

This is based on something I read on Uncyclopedia (HERE).

Current orthodox Pastafarian doctrine says that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created everything by waving His Noodly Appendage, that he made a mountain, trees and a midgit (sic) on the 1st day, then subsequently made everything else, including the first 3-day weekend, the Shroud of Napkin, and fake carbon atoms to fool scientists and geologists. He then rested on the 5th, 6th and 7th days. Doctrine also says that any results that show otherwise are because the FSM changes them.

However Uncyclopedia mentions a controversial theory called Automated Creationism. This theory proposes that the Flying Spaghetti Monster designed a process by which all of creation would come into existence through natural progression, initially triggered by Him in one significant event, called the Big Boil*. Such natural progression would also serve to mislead scientists, something that causes the Flying Spaghetti Monster much delight.

(The Big Boil Event took longer than He expected until He created salt and added it to the mix. This initiated the Big Boil and also explains why the sea is salty.)

So - thoughts?

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Re: Automated Creationism

Postby Malechei » Thu Sep 29, 2011 12:49 am

It seems to me that the idea of Automated Creationism being created by the FSM would affirm the creation story while the progression of the Automated Creation contradicts the creation story by suggesting that the world was created in a longer time span than four days.

If there is truth to this assertion, I assume it is just another one of FSM's ingenious ploys to screw with scientists. Perhaps Automated Creationism is the name of the illusion of evolution, in which case, both stories are simultaneously true and false.


So, let me see if I've got this right: A cosmic jewish zombie who is his own father wants me to symbolically eat his flesh and drink his blood while telepathically telling him that I accept him as my savior from sin that is present in all human beings because a woman made from one rib bone and a mound of dirt was fooled into eating forbidden fruit from a magical tree by a talking snake? Where do I sign up?

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