Pyrate Olympicks

[pieces o'nine]

Yarrrgh, hit bee thee anyule--er--next round ov Thee Pyrate Olympics! Hacccordian t'me shed-yule, thee followin' competishuns arrrgh starrrghtin thee hevents:

CAPTAININ'


DINGHY ROWIN'


FREESTYLE PLANK WALKIN'


'AND-TER-'AND FIGHTIN'


RUM KEG ROLLIN'


SINKRONOIZED PEGLEG BALLET


SWASHBUCKLIN'


TABBE HEX-SCAPIN'


TREASURE DIGGIN'


Yarrrgh, wot crewes be compeatin' this yeare?

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Is there a name for an event the features all 9 of 'em?

[Roy Hunter]

YArrrr...

Is there a name for an event the features all 9 of 'em?

Well, if it was ten events, it would be a decathlon. If it was eight events, it might be oct-athletics? So I guess someone taking part in all nine events is a non-athlete. That sounds about right to me...

[black bart]

Arrr, put me down fer thee Rum Keg rollin...Full Keg I assumes.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Arr , oid loike ta entarr thee wench molestin' relay .

[pieces o'nine]

^ OI duzzint 'ave a hofishawl icon fer that wun...

[anthrobabe]

Me an the lasses frum over to tha Admiral Benbow be putting up our best wenches for keg rolling and full an half pint liftin.

Hows abouts a wee bit o a wager?

As to the implikashuns dat we be cheaters oil only sez dis ohonce

No we aint and youins ken ask Dead Phil the former cheese maker all abouts it--- but ye must needs to hold ye breaf as he be swimmin wif Davy Jones in the briny deep forever more
Not that we had anyfink to do wif is akksident an awl.

[pieces o'nine]

Arrrgh, thee crewe ov thee Mad Moggies Revenge arrrgh heagerlee awaytin thee competishun fer Tabbe Hexscapin, Freestyle Plank Walkin, Rum Keg Rollin, an Treasure Diggin,

[DaveL]

YArrr...

Oi be bringing me champion treasure diggers. Chaps by the name of Mr Caterpillar and Mr John Deere. They be pretty quick at digging holes Oi hear.

[DavidH]

Tabbe hex-scapin for me.

[black bart]

Who be holdin thee starter pistol...I opes it aint Blind Pew!

[pieces o'nine]

* ANNOUNCER VOICEOVER * Welcome, Ladies an Gentlemen, Pirates and Wenches, Distinguished and Not-So-Distinguished Guests, and Competitors from all Nations to the Pirate Olympics!

* assorted cheers and rude noises from the assembled masses *

* ANNOUNCER VOICEOVER * Please rise for the Opening Ceremony as the last relay runner enters the arena with the PirLympics Torch -- a bottle of Captain's Deloight with a flaming piece of hawser sticking out the opening... The official Portsmouth Pirate Orchestra and Chorus has struck up a stirring anthem... I'm told that the runner is approaching the arena... And now we can just see a figure framed in the gates... Yes! It appears to be...

[TDKs]

Oi yamer moighty swashbuckler mates! Oi've e'en had some clarrrsical training in it.
Nommuch mebbie, burrenuff I fancy. Sign me up!

[DaveL]

* ANNOUNCER VOICEOVER * Welcome, Ladies an Gentlemen, Pirates and Wenches, Distinguished and Not-So-Distinguished Guests, and Competitors from all Nations to the Pirate Olympics!

* assorted cheers and rude noises from the assembled masses *

* ANNOUNCER VOICEOVER * Please rise for the Opening Ceremony as the last relay runner enters the arena with the PirLympics Torch -- a bottle of Captain's Deloight with a flaming piece of hawser sticking out the opening... The official Portsmouth Pirate Orchestra and Chorus has struck up a stirring anthem... I'm told that the runner is approaching the arena... And now we can just see a figure framed in the gates... Yes! It appears to be...

...the home Nation The Piratica Olympic Team. So many big names, so many competitors, it's just a pity that only few of them do not have prosthetic limbs...

[pieces o'nine]

...and proudly carrying the Home Team Flag appears to be none other than...