Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Griffin
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby Griffin » Wed Aug 29, 2012 10:16 pm

Comment is Free (fer onlee 30 cronan)

'ow did BB hever get thru parsport controll?

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DavidH
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby DavidH » Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:51 am

BART ON THEE RUN

From our Portsmouth correspondent R. Sole:

Two large fat men wearing baggy trousers and carrying scimitars were said to be wandering round Portsmouth last night, asking "Oh Effendi, where is the one they call Bart? I will give you gold."

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black bart
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart » Thu Aug 30, 2012 5:31 am

Griffin wrote:Comment is Free (fer onlee 30 cronan)

'ow did BB hever get thru parsport controll?

email supplied


*Out of character for a minute*

:lol: It's so funny you should say that.

I have to say that I have been the benefit of incredible generosity from members of this discussion board and a heart felt thanks to you all. Griffin sent myself (and the Black Spot) a lovely lot of beer after out initiation ceremony at the Toadfish Monasatery. My family and I have been the guest of David H and wife and were wonderfully entertained and looked after in Herefordshire. Tigger sent me that beautiful 'Black Bart' coin a while ago. I also got a lovely pirate figure sent to me by one of the old members of the T.M. but I can't remember her name (it had a V in it).

Anyway, to get to the point...when I returned from holiday there was a card on the doormat saying a parcel had arrived and had been taken to the local Post Office. I turned up at the post office with my passport for identification and handed over the card. The lady behind the counter lifted up a very large parcel (about a foot and a half square) and looked at the address label...then she looked at my passport...

"You're not Bart", she said..."Oh yes I am", says I...hand reaching for my cutlass...

The parcel was addressed to Bart of course and I'm afraid that aint the name on me passport! She only believed me when I told her my correct post code...the cutlass slid back into the scabbard and she handed over the massive parcel.

When I got the parcel home and opened it I was quite literally staggered at the contents...it contained a gigantic metal tankard, a beautiful glass beer mug and a ton of sweets (and strangely, some dog biscuits)...

A million thanks to Mad Willlum Bonney.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby DavidH » Thu Aug 30, 2012 5:36 am

Harr! You ate dog biscuits when you stayed at our place ... you didn't know it, that's all! :fsm_rock:

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black bart
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart » Thu Aug 30, 2012 5:38 am

DavidH wrote:Harr! You ate dog biscuits when you stayed at our place ... you didn't know it, that's all! :fsm_rock:


But you aint got a dog!

I shall post pictures of me Gyant tankard shortly.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby Ravi Oli » Thu Aug 30, 2012 5:54 am

Arrrr bart... arrre ye admittin yer open to a bit o' graft, corrupshun an' bribbery? Oi'll 'ave ta foind yer a toad with a bottle o' yer favrit drop... or maybe a roo scrotum purse?
Send lawyers, guns and money...

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black bart
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart » Thu Aug 30, 2012 6:06 am

:lol: Speakin wiv me hofishul Pyrate Moderhator Gyant hat on... As far as I be concerned, Mad Willium can post rude things when hever he loiks...an I will turn me eye patched eye...he wont get no banninashun from me. As long as it don't hinvolve Dugongs...I draws thee line at Dugong sex.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby DavidH » Thu Aug 30, 2012 6:41 am

Bart wrote:But you aint got a dog!


That's why nobody ever suspects. Heh, heh. :haha:

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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby DaveL » Fri Aug 31, 2012 4:37 am

black bart wrote::lol: As long as it don't hinvolve Dugongs...I draws thee line at Dugong sex.


YArrrr...

I always thought they were mermaids. Now where's me spectacles?
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black bart
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart » Fri Aug 31, 2012 12:40 pm

Bart's Bar Tab breaks all records due to thee hintrodukshun of Gyant Tankards:

Image

Landlord of Admiral Benbow quits.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Mad Willyum Bonney
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney » Fri Aug 31, 2012 6:02 pm

black bart wrote:[

A million thanks to Mad Willlum Bonney.


No fank yeez recryerd Barty , ye did solve thee riddil affer all.

( juss dont go rown braggin to Rollin )
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering Black Bart
Remembering Pieces o' Nine
Remembering Rainswept

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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby pieces o'nine » Sat Sep 01, 2012 4:36 pm

DaveL wrote: I always thought they were mermaids. Now where's me spectacles?




DaveL Makes Spectacle of Self with Dugongs!
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Ravi Oli
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby Ravi Oli » Sat Sep 01, 2012 5:18 pm

^ Yarrr pieces n' Willyum... yer know e's on weakend detenshun fer thart - hanimal crewelry or pubic hindecency or thee loike? Hunless it be sommat new?!

'E does thee Crocodile Hunter [may Thee FSM rest 'is sole] thing, jumpin on 'em frum 'is shippe and resselin them suggestivlely loike, ownly 'e wears a skimpy loincloth hinstead o'karkees. They 'as 'is pictcha up at awl thee Natshunal Parks bannin 'im entery.

^^ bart ye'd be tanked arfter 'arf o' one o' them tankards!!
Send lawyers, guns and money...

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Mad Willyum Bonney
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney » Sat Sep 01, 2012 5:42 pm

black bart wrote:
Anyway, to get to the point...when I returned from holiday there was a card on the doormat saying a parcel had arrived and had been taken to the local Post Office. I turned up at the post office with my passport for identification and handed over the card. The lady behind the counter lifted up a very large parcel (about a foot and a half square) and looked at the address label...then she looked at my passport...

"You're not Bart", she said..."Oh yes I am", says I...hand reaching for my cutlass...

The parcel was addressed to Bart of course and I'm afraid that aint the name on me passport! She only believed me when I told her my correct post code...the cutlass slid back into the scabbard and she handed over the massive parcel.

A million thanks to Mad Willlum Bonney.


Bart .... tsk tsk ... ye haz yeer custifficates an yeer coyn ... an ye took wot wiff ye ?


Daff git ......
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering Black Bart
Remembering Pieces o' Nine
Remembering Rainswept

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black bart
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart » Mon Sep 03, 2012 7:54 am

:lol: I forgot thee Black Bart coin which cleerlee dipikts me graven himage upon it!

On thee uvver hand I did manage to avoid bein arrested fer piracy.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.


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