Hi, I'm Black Bart, you may remember me from such nautikal hadventures as:
"The case of thee shrunken head" and "Moby Dick up thee Khyber".
Here at Bart hindustries we ave a proud rekord orf supplyin qualitee goods to thee sea farin publik. We put thee P in Piracy and thee K in Keelhaulin (and not ta menshun the Fish Heads in thee Fish Head Stoo). Our himpressive list of klients hinclude hamongst uvvers: Thee late Lady Agnetha Redgrave, Thee late Sir Montague Grommett and thee late Viscount Sir Peter Scott...and there were even some kidnappins wot went right.
I was therefore more than a little perturoboted when the rumour orf disatisfakshun amongst our customers reached my ears. May I therefore hextend my heart felt condolences to those who may ave become out orf pocket as a result orf any failed seegull deliveries and I can offer ye a free bucket orf Fish Head Stoo as rekompense. Please note that seegull deliveries are hereby suspendered an from this day hense we shalle be usin albatrosses instead.
Your most trustworthy servant,
Bartholemyoo
