The Person Below Me

[black bart]

Ah yes...my 'Heart of darkness' package holiday did not disappoint...I still think she was Belgian though.

TPBM loves Belgium

[Ravi Oli]

Belgium doesn't exist!

TPBM believes they are Hercule Poirot.

[Griffin]

I'm certainly not the murderer so what other option is there?

TPBM is in the library with Professor Plum......

[black bart]

Plum? That's an unusual name for a Professor...Professor of what exactly? Oh...you're a rap singer!

They call be Plum and I'm a lyrical dick
I'm gonna kill that MUTHER wiv the candlestick...

TMBM (TMBM = The Muther Below Me) will carry on rapping.

[Roy Hunter]

Oh come on now Bart, you should be ashamed of yourself,
Rapping at your age? It's not good for your health,
You're down with the streets when you fall off your bike,
But the Northern Line is the only underground scene you like,
You should leave this rap game to someone with more class,
You're more likely to pop a blood vessel than a cap in someone's ass,
But it could be worse, it could be far more silly,
If you kept on boasting about the size of your...

No, run out of rhymes.

TPBM never runs out of rhymes.

[DavidH]

Unless I start the verse with 'orange', when I have only two rhymes available.

TPBM knows two perfect rhymes for 'orange'.

[Ravi Oli]

Aye that would be sporange, a rare fungoid known to infest the sporrans of Scots living in the perpetually misty Highlands.

TPBM can say the alphabet backwards without thinking.

[Roy Hunter]

...because I only ever speak without thinking.

TPBM remembers that 15th March is Red Nose Day. Please remember and give generously. Here's why: only five pounds can teach a disabled African man the difference between an armed intruder in his bathroom, and his girlfriend.

[daftbeaker]

Every little helps.

TPBM is not going to make a crap joke about being 'armless.

[Ravi Oli]

I was going to do one about being legless though...

TPBM will never have to worry about being harrassed by press or paparatzzi.

[Helium Hands]

...Because I am invisible to the naked eye.

TPBM glows in the dark.

[Ravi Oli]

Only my extremities when I phone home.

TPBM has great phone plans for everyone.

[Roy Hunter]

Yes, here's 10p: call someone who gives a &*%!.

TPBM keeps a civil tongue in their head.

[Helium Hands]

Clearly you were talking to the TPBM....

[Roy Hunter]

I often talk to myself. Professional help is being sought.

TPBM is the professional help... I hope... unless it's Nef Yoo...