The Great Pirate Insult Challenge

[pieces o'nine]

Yarrrgh, an that sais sumfink abowt thee qualitee ov the olde worlde pyrates, duz it knot.

[Ravi Oli]

Aye it do... thems an' thee toilet brush downt use thee same 'airdresser an' razors as ye.

[pieces o'nine]

Arrrgh ye thee last pyrate standing? Ware be thee reste of thee survy fleete!
Hit be exhawstin ter worke hup newe hinsults every daye fer just one godfersaken aussie. Its knot loike there's much t'worke wif...

[black bart]

I hinsults thee both o ye wiv:

It be ard ta get a word in edgeways wiv Yew two goin at it loik a couple o washer women...I can still hear yers wiv me cabin door shut an me head in a bowl o fish ed stoooo!

[DavidH]

And what be ye a-doin polluticating the stoo?

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

um um um antee sayd ye beddr not et tha stool rrrrrrrrrr

[Almighty Doer of Stuff]

Arrr, Oi'm not soorproized a mooron loik yerself needs t' be told not t' eat crap. Be this aftarr ye tryed it thet she told ye orf?

[Ravi Oli]

Arrrggghhh ADoS Oi 'erd poo wert yer fayverit finga-paintin' an' bodyart medyum as a yungun yerself.

[pieces o'nine]

If ye finks oi'm a-gwine ter wayste yet annuvver hinsult on thee loikes ov ye, yer moinde be further gone than DaveL's old prom dress...

[Ravi Oli]

^ Ye'd 'ave been Prom Queen iffin they'd onlee anownced it b'fore ye turned into a punkkin at midnoight.

[Roy Hunter]

Ye wouldn't know what to do with a Prom Queen, or a pumpkin for that matter. Ye be more of a wilted spring onion than a marrow, if ye catch me drift...

[Ravi Oli]

Aye matey ye Scottish pyrates arrrrrr gud at makin' mountins outa molehills as ye 'asn't anythin worth hidin' unda thee kilt dress thingies ye wear.

[pieces o'nine]

Arrrrgh, yer jest jellus as ye 'aven't got thee pins t'ware a kilt.

[Ravi Oli]

Downt ye tork! Ye 'as thee legs wot 'as awl thee prarie chickuns from miles around loining up on yer lawn to strut for yer.

[Roy Hunter]

Yer lawn be as dry an' brown as yer cookin', but yer lawn tayste *slyte-lee* better...