The Continuous Salty Tale

[black bart]

..me ma said ta me when I first went ta sea: Don't use moistyeriser or thee croo will think ye aven't got scurvee loik thee rest o them...an then ye'll loiklee end up wiv a bandy walk an a sore...

[Ravi Oli]

...bum frum sittin' on yer stool awl day dezynin promoshunal leeflets an' posters hextollin' thee loife poiratin' an' cruzin thee seven seas...

[pieces o'nine]

...bein' pestered noight an daye fer chaynges t'thee fonts...

[PastorDeGranoDuro]

...an' bein' curs'd wi' RRRR-SI from th' typin' an' phot'arrshoppin'....

[black bart]

...argh s I? That reminds me of thee toim thee cook spent too long stirring the Fish Head Stoo and ended up wiv a case of...

[Almighty Doer of Stuff]

...prion dizeez affektin haff thee croo. They lernt all too late why thee cook had a shoiny noo hook where his hand had been. Anyhow, in responss t' thee owtbrake, Cap'n Bart had to...

[DaveL]

...call for a cook to help him. It was none other than Portsmouth's finest gourmand, The Legendary 3-hatted master...

[Ravi Oli]

...knife-throer Gorblimey Ramsitupye, who din't teech bart a thing, an' 'aunted bye 'is...

[pieces o'nine]

...harrowin "hextended vacayshun" amongst thee Aztecs wen Bart "hacksidently" marooned 'im there one yeare...

[Ravi Oli]

...an' 'e develupt an un'ealthy dislike fer Mexycan qiuzine, hespeshully...

[Roy Hunter]

...thee 'South American Continental Breakfast' of pickled chilli peppers an' tequila, which left a terrible problem with...

[pieces o'nine]

...otherwoise festive atmosfear...

[Ravi Oli]

...upon witch wafted thee hunmisteakablee peecant aroma ov a regular dyit of corn an' beens...

[black bart]

...still, he went on to win thee All England Fartin Championshyppe three years on thee trot (pun hintended). Thee following year he had to retire hurt as a result of...

[Ravi Oli]

...a spotainyous combustin ripper wot...