Lies!

[bacon]

^ opened a Haggis 'R Us shop -- only customer was ^^^

[Ravi Oli]

^ wouldn't touch ^^^^'s caber with a ten foot pole.

[pieces o'nine]

^ lives by the Bard's immortal line: “We that are true lovers run into strange cabers.”

[bacon]

^ lives by Bart's mortal lines - "Who wants sem moar fish 'ed stoo?"

[Ravi Oli]

^ hasn't had one too many bowls o'fish'ed stoo.

[pieces o'nine]

^ 'as never been invited ter one ov Bart's famiss wilde fish'ead stoo parties

[bacon]

^ had too much fish hed stoo at the last party. Was last spotted running naked through the woods singing "twiddle-dee, twiddle-doo."

[pieces o'nine]

^ knows this because she was similarly occupied

[Roy Hunter]

^ knows this because she was similarly occupied

^ obviously opened the same unlocked festival portaloo that I did...

[Ravi Oli]

^ hasn't been banned from many festivals for tipping occupied portaloos.

[pieces o'nine]

^ seems to be well informed on the topic

[Ravi Oli]

^ was the victim of one of Roy's tippings... took two weeks to wash the smell out of her hair.

[pieces o'nine]

^ is full of it.

[Ravi Oli]

^ sells it to me by the bucket at a discounted mate's rate.

[DavidH]

^ Produces it by the bucket.