Postby Capn Noodle Beard » Sat Oct 25, 2014 8:20 pm
Ahoy Brethren. Yesterday was World Pasta Day and I did feast on a large plate of lasagna and did contemplate how the FSM formed the layers of the Earth and therein did place many fossils. Also did I drink of the wine which is red in honour of the red sauce which covers his noodly form. When the hour was late I went to bed and yet slept not for I was touched by his noodly appendage and arose from my hammock although it was not the hour of my Watch and wrote down the following verses which were given unto me. These verses belong in the Old Pastament, in the Book of Bartholomew, which if there be as yet no such book, yet there should be, for Bartholomew Roberts was the coolest of Pirates and verily it was he who wrote down the Pirate's Code.
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And it came to pass that many of His Pirates had forgotten the messages that they had been charged with spreading around the world since the days of Cap'n Mosey. They had forgotten the holy covenant (probably due to the consumption of too much Rum) and taken to Plundering and cruel wickedness.
The noodly heart of the FSM was filled with sadness. Verily went he and drowned his sorrows at the Beer Volcano and when he had drunk much of the holy liquid it occurred to him to send a messenger among the Pirates to remind them of the covenant and to chastise them for their forgetfulness.
So there appeared on the ships of the forgetful Pirates strange creatures, the like of which they had not seen before. These creatures were called Cats and the FSM had forgotten to create them when he was making the rest of the animals because he was distracted by a squirrel.
The Cats made themselves useful by catching the many rats which had been plundering the very spaghetti of the Pirates and so the Pirates thought the Cats were cool.
After some time there came a night which was called Halloween and the Pirates gathered together although they could not remember why, and the FSM caused the mouths of the Cats to be opened and they did speak before the Pirates who were sore afraid and some did soil themselves, but the Cats told the Pirates that they had been sent by the FSM and to be not afraid and to change their soiled garments forthwith.
The Cats spoke to the Pirates for nine nights and each night they bespoke a different story to remind the Pirates of the covenant and of their holy duty and the Pirates gave thanks and did eat of large plates of spaghetti and did drink gladly of the holy beer.
They praised the Cats and gave them gifts of meatballs and cheese and they called them the Cats o' Nine Tales.
And many of the Cats stayed on the ships of the Pirates and many others went ashore and dwelt among the houses of the people. And the Cats never again spoke, either to Pirates or unbelievers, but kept their own council. But they were still cool and some prophesied that they would rule the internets (whatever they might be) and so it shall come to pass.
Cap'n Noodle Beard - Pastafarian from Brisbane, Australia. Pasta be upon ye and yer crew. R'Amen
PervySageChuck,
wit dat. 
<---T.A.R.D.I.S
